:/ Well, most people can control the flow of their urine without actually putting effort into the thought, it is just a prewired mental pathway. What one does is find the muscles by stopping the urine flow, so then you know which muscles it is you contract so you can exercise these muscles consciously later when you are not peeing. When you exercise them I think you are just suppose to clench and unclench in periods of like 20 seconds-3seconds respectively.