ok so....my whole family does not give a shit about me at all...stuck livin at my grandparents hate it here so much....fighting with every one alll the time..im not eatting or sleeping...i lost every single one of my friends i had from all this shit...im doing stupid shit to my self now..and just ?ing life it self now....there is just alot of things happened past 2 years that made this all happen and its all my parents fault... im going down a bad road now it seems like with being depressed and stressed..at times i want to end it but idk its just so much at once its hard to deal with.... like i give up on school not idc about it at all no more
there is just alot....its real hard for me to make friends like so many people dont like me and so many people make fun of me on the way i look and all its just fucked up and al..... i would realy like to get more friends i only have like 4 thats it...and most of them idk if they see me as a friend.... i feel that i failed every1, my self, at life, everything its getting hard to live threw ever day knowing that im a no one no one cares for me i can just drop dead and they wont care my family dont even care for me i have almost no friends nothing to live for i lost alot friends, family , I dont believe in my self at times i just want to end it i been thinking about it more in the past….it will just end this all and i wont need to go threw it any more all this shit is getting to me alot you dont know what it is fully like what i deal with and how i feel all my feelings are messed i dont know what it is like to be happy any more i just dont know how much i can take i dont know how much longer i will be around i just dont know what to do any more i always feel like shit im like all over the place wit this one i just feel like it is the best to end it i dont know what it is that just makes me keep going to live for a nother day im trying to pick my life up and put it back together but its hard i just need to get away from all family and just never see or talk to the at all ever again but cant do that till im 18.... i want to know what feeling happy is like again want the feeling to be cared and loved for i want to have friends but its hard who would be friends wit me wile im like this and all….no one would that’s y I lost most of what friends I had…..
i just want to have this all over i cant take it any more and there is 2 ways for it to be over wait till im 18 and just leave or just end it... my list for ending it is getting bigger then no ending it so i dont know....
i dont want to live here any more its sucks so much they make my life worse then it is they bitch and fight about everything and im always in a real low mood here... that’s y I ask u a lot to do things to get me away from here and all
i been trying to pick my life up and put to together but its just not working at all im trying to make things better but its not working im tired of all the shit im tired of people think im doing this ia a cry for attention but its all real i know its real from i go threw it day by day and i hope you think im not lieing to you or making this up because im not....
i been regretting so much stuff and thinking about alot in the past month and its getting to me.... i been thinking of dropping out of school i cant do nothing with out thinking about whats going on you can take 1 look at me and you can tell some thing is wrong... i regret getting a tattoo i got to get back at my family i do not want it at all no more it is not me at all and i dont like it at all no more...
i dont know what to do any more about this at all i just want out but this is not no game you can quit this is real and everthing i chose to do will lead to what goes on
but yeah there is just alot more to this im just so lost....
