its going to take a long time. i always worried that something like that would happen to me. and it scares me a lot to think about it.

i think you need to start hanging out with more people. i'm not saying replace your friend, you will never be able to do that. but find more people you can trust just as much as you trusted your guy friend. you need to have other people to lean on. you need to have other things to take your mind off your friend, at least for a little while.

you should also seek professional therapy. those people can work wonders if you really want to pursue going to them.

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