I will be slated for saying this, but I'm going to anyway: if you truly intended to kill yourself, you wouldn't be alive to post responses to the advice being given in this thread. This is like virtual cutting. Here's a little piece of advice for you [and those giving advice may need to hear this too]: unfortunately, the only way people can really change is if they want to; you cannot save people from themselves. If you really are contemplating suicide, then get some help; not on an internet forum, but from another person. Don't try to escape from your problems by destroying all the potential you have to be happy in the future: resolve your problems. Have you thought about moving? Leaving the past behind? Setting up somewhere else, getting a new job, a fresh start? Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Think about it; you won't get a chance to regret it. And if you want to move on, which you appear to, then take the first step and don't look back.