Well, suicide isn't an escape, it is cowardice. Think of it this way: If you can get through this, you can get through anything, because in my mind, depression is one of the worst things I ever had to endure, when I got over it I just absolutely love life.
Working out, as you may be able to tell, was my escape from the computer, now I am on only for an hour or so a day, it is determined by what is going on.
Life has its ups and downs, but you need to grow balls (yes, I said it) and bring the issue up with your parents if the suicidal thoughts continue, if they do not believe you, YOU be the stronger person and find help yourself, do not let them stagnate you from enjoying life.
You seem like a big kid, perhaps you may be interested in working out? Trust me, I didn't think I would get heavily involved or even like it, now I am addicted to it and love it. =]
If you want to change, you need to tell yourself you can do it, because you can, I did it, why can't you? I am the happiest, most optimistic (cautiously) person you will meet, hell, I have the beautifulest girlfriend. Anyone can change, you need to tell yourself you can, you give me one good reason why you cannot.
There is no magical cure for depression either, you need to do it, it is all in your hands, but here are some tips you need to start initiating, might sound silly, but if you don't, you wont change without trying.
- State as clearly as possible in a positive manner what it is that you want to create in your life.
- Be clear why you want this and how your life will be different once you achieve this goal.
- Understand what you have going for you to help you achieve this goal.
- Understand the challenges that exist.
- Be especially aware of the negative self-talk that sabotages and undermines your attempts to succeed.
- Be clear about what you need to achieve this goal in terms of skills, resources, support systems, etc.
- List the 3-5 major actions that you need to take to start moving toward this goal.
- Think of ways to care for yourself as you work to achieve this goal.
- Stay focused on what you want to create, not on the difficulties you might be having.
- Be easy on yourself! Have fun! Enjoy the journey!