my friend. I have some simple advise for you.

close your eyes. and look around at your life. what is it you have that is good...even it is one thing. a family member thats fun and sincere to be with. one close freined that you trust above the rest. anything at all.

now treasure that feeling of having that one thing. even if its small.

I know how you feel. honestly I do. I am never one to lie and I will say that I feel the same as you. However it seems I am invincible to emotional pain...it will never kill me. I could never end my own life.

I have silently prayed for death everyday that I have lived. Honestly and truly. I am stricken with an old guilt. I was the cause...the reason that my birth father committed suicide. and so in my heart I feel I killed him.

I know how you feel.

But I get by in this world knowing that I am here to help others. I am useful as a counciller to my friends, my family do care about me...

A close friend of mine also committed suicide.

Let me tell you something few decide to tell...there is not any amount of pain in this life that you could feel...that would come close to the pain that would be in those that were left behind in the knowledge of what you did.

Can you honestly kill yourself knowing that you would cause so much pain to do so?

You may look at this screen and think these people ar but pixels...but you must remember that though you may not see our faces, there are real people behind these words. And these people care about you.

we may not be able to physically show you it...but we do love you. you are loved. and so I plead with you...do not take your own life.