Hey there.

I created my account AGES ago and have only just started posting properly here so I'm not sure how it works either :P

(just a note. I live in Australia and our school system works differently here. There is Primary School which is Kindergarten,1,2,3,4,5,6 and then High School which is 7,8,9,10,11,12)

I know how you're feeling. My parents split up a couple of months ago and it really affected me since they went through a lot before it happened. For the past 4/5 years my parents have been going through a rough patch. I'm in grade 9 now so I transfered from Primary School to High School and then changed High Schools while this was all happening and everything was just so messed up. They had split up previously and my mum had moved out to live in an apartment while my dad took care of me and my older brother. It didn't really affect me as much then because I was young (about grade 5 or 6) and I didn't fully understand the situation. Eventually my parents got back together and my mum moved back in. We moved house and everything was all good again... NOT. My parents started to have massive arguments and screaming fights. I could tell my mum had now got to the point of despising my dad because even when we had people over, she would barely talk to him, sit near him. All the love and affection in their relationship was gone. This was all happening when I was changing from Primary School to High School so it did have an impact on me. I'd sit in the car on my way home from my first day of High School listening to my mother screaming in to the phone at my dad, then muttering to herself the whole way home. We moved house again to a new location where tensions rose and the final blow came. My parents argued so much it got to a point where I was going to yell at them for being idiots. I remember one fight they had over curtains. UH. This was the period I was crying myself to sleep most nights to the sound of them yelling and then my mum crying.
There was the one night where everything fell apart. It was late on a Sunday night and I had just gone to bed around midnight. My mum got home a couple of hours later drunk. My dad had been sleeping on the couch and waiting for her to come home. She came in to the lounge room and bent down to give him a hug. He jolted awake and bashed heads with her. My mum started screaming furiously and crying. I woke up and so did my brother at this point. I heard my mum run up the stars carrying on and slamming the door to the bathroom. My dad was still tired but followed her, apologising profusely. My mum screamed and shouted through the bathroom door. Telling him to stay away. Get out of the house. Carrying on and on. This went on for hours until my dad left and went downstairs. By this point I was tempted to get out of bed but I decided against it and sat still waiting for what would happen next. After some time and listening to my mother sob I heard the bathroom door open. My mother stumbled out and went in to my brothers room crying. Then both of them came in to my room. My mum just kept apologising. I didn't say anything to her. I was shocked. All I knew at that point was that my mum had been hit by my dad. I left the two of them there in my room and went down to see my dad. He was in the kitchen crying. My dad never cries. We stayed there together and sat on the floor as he explained to me what had happened. It was all an accident. I was furious at my mum. She was drunk and stupid. That night I held my dad as he wept...
The next morning my mum had a hangover. I had to go to school with such a heavy burden on my shoulders. I got home that afternoon to find my mum and dad and brother waiting for me. My parents announced they were seperating again, but were going to live together for us.
After I changed High Schools we eventually moved again and bought our very first house. Well my mum did. My dad is in a tight financial situation and has a much low paying job compared to my mum. So he lived in the garage and my mum and brother and I lived in the house. This was in February this year. Over the following months my dad talked to me a lot about the situation. He said he was thinking about moving out. I didn't look at it from my place in the situation, I thought about him. So I told him to move out. Of course I didn't want him to, but I knew he would be so much happier if he did.
So now my dad lives elsewhere and I see him every weekend. I live with my mum because she can support me and pay for my outrageous new school fees. No I didn't really have a choice with who I wanted to live with. But at my age, sometimes when people make decisions for you its just so much easier. I have too much stuff going on in my life to have to worry about my parents problems. its theirs not mine.

So.. haha that was long... I guess I've come to the conclusion that they were just two different people. They did get married when they were young and now they've just developed in to different people. My mum is more work focused and finds "serious" things fun. My dad on the other hand loves a good party and chilling out is his favourite thing to do.

SO. I guess what I'm trying to say is, speak up. I didn't and I'm still depressed about what happened. Call a family meeting. If you don't want to have it just between you and your family, go get help from a counsellor or something who could host a session for you. Or get help from other family members. Relatives can help greatly because they know your parents well.

The financial thing is nothing you have to worry about okay? It's your parents thing to sort out. You have to realise that your parents still love you and always love you and this has nothing to do with you. Yes sometimes they may drag you into things but you should know that it is their problem and it is never your fault.

I hope things work out for you.

xx