After reading the words written in this thread, even I was touched.
Ama. even if the world does seem cold, lonely and unforgiving at times there is always hope. You said before that you are a part of a lot of clubs in college but you weren't making many friends. This is just an idea but I play football (soccer) for my local club. I have made SO many friends from the team I play in. The girls I play with are so much fun to be with. I think maybe you should take up a team sport. Even if you're not athletic give it a go. Team sports are not about how good you are individually, but about how well you work together as a team. Also I reckon playing sport does take your mind off everything for a period of time. Certainly for me it does. You just block it all out and escape once in a while. Any sport would do. Hockey, Baseball, Basketball.. I don't know. Take a chance! Try something new! If the people in your college aren't going to be your friends look out and beyond. The world is a massive place, there is someone out there waiting for you to befriend them.
xxxxx