Hi; I'm Jordan. Like I said in my introduction, I am male and 19 years old. I don't know what the average age here is, but I'm assuming I might be on the old side. Anyway, this is my "problem" and why I'm here.

I feel like I've almost completely missed out on my teen years, which I would consider to be some very good, maybe some of the best years, of your life. You see, in late middle school and in high school I began to be "caught in the middle" meaning I was that nice guy in class that was friendly to everyone, but nobody paid too much attention to because everyone assumed he was friends with a different group! People didn't ignore me; on the contrary, it would probably appear that I had lots of friends: I would say hi to nearly everyone in the hall b/c I knew most of them, and they would cheerfully say hi back. But that's where it ended. When it came time for people to hang out or do something fun, they all thought I hung out with a different group. I was stuck in the middle, with lots of acquaintances and a few friends, all in different "cliques" or "groups."

So, up until I was about 17, I mainly went to school, hung out with some friends and lots of acquaintances there, participated in extracurricular stuff, went home and that was it. Others did fun stuff outside of school like skateboarding or going to the movies etc. and I did once in a blue moon, but mainly I just stayed home.

Senior year was a bit better. I got with a group of friends and we hung out more, but by this time I already felt like I had missed out on a lot of stuff, and even my group of friends was tighter amongst themselves b/c they had already been hanging out for a long while. Anyway, we would go to movies and hang out some and all, but I still probably didn't do as much of it as your average teenager.

Long story, I know (sorry) but what I'm saying is, I've now finished my first year at college. I turn 20 in September. 20! 2 decades old and my teen years will be over....and I don't think I've done anything to enjoy them. Even to this day I've not had a girlfriend or anything. I've been on a few dates and went to dances/proms but each time it seemed like the girl was just asking last minute out of desperation to take someone, and the dates I've initiated always end up with us having a "nice time" but the girl seemingly not interested in anything more than maybe a one-time date.

Also I was a pretty "good kid" and never got in trouble for anything, never drank, etc. While that may be "good" it also leaves me feeling like I kind of missed out on excitement and stuff in teen years. Even sites like these I think are awesome for existing, but I can't help feeling nostalgia and a deep sense of regret for not having found out about them when I was say, 13 or 14, so I could be a part of even this teen community and enjoy my teen years.

All of this (me not included in activities after school, under-confidence with girls etc) has left me with low self esteem and feeling like I have no idea what to do. I feel like it's partly my fault and I should fix it but I don't know how and I feel like my time has already been wasted up. Like, I would have loved to call up friends to plan something in school, but since all my friends belonged to different "groups," it was majorly awkward to try and hang out together b/c I was the only common denominator.

Anyway, this post has rambled on too long I know (sorry again) but my second year of college will be starting, my teen years are ending, and I fear I am falling into the same trap in college. I have joined a fraternity (my brother went through it before me) and it's lots of fun but I feel like the same thing is happening...the guys are all nice and I say hi and am friendly to all of them, but they each have "their" crowd and I'm not a part of any of them

Soooo....sorry for rambling, but it feels good to get that off my chest; however, it also leaves me rather depressed. Sorry, I just thought maybe you all would have some thoughts. :-/