What's up Alex. You know, you're going through a lot from what I've read, but you just don't have the right idea of handling things. No one here can tell you what you need to do or how you need to do it, and that's the truth.

You issues you're suffering at hand is nothing unique to be honest, a lot of people go through this, and they find a manage to cope with things. This is a part of life, it might be bad right now but you need to expect better things, only when you come to the realization that you need to make your life better, you will.

I know it might be hard for you to higher your expectations, but you're forcing yourself to look for the right things, and you can't really do that - somehow you can look half way, but the other half has to find you.

You're expected to go through issues likes this all through out life, and your feelings of remorse are somewhat understandable...but thoughts of killing yourself, drugs, drinking...that's no way to deal with the situation rationally.

Let's sum this up, you've had friends who've turned they're backs on you, girls who've cheated on you, and great girls who went for other options. Look at this, and tell me if you really feel that this is something you need to be sorrowful about to this point. Yeah, shit happens and that's the cold hard truth, but I believe everything happens for a reason, and there's greater opportunities out there for you, you just have to find them.

You're the only person who can come to your own terms and help yourself, and I hope that's what you do. Put yourself on a limb, and next time you choose your friends and a girl, make sure you really know them for who you are build your trust with them.

Like I previously said, no one can tell you how to live your life, tell you what to do, you have to find this for yourself, dig in deep. I hope things work out for you.