it can be difficult. i was the same way u are. it takes a long time sometimes, and somedays will be better then others. when u have a bad day, remember that "this isjust a bad day. i'm going to embrace it and learn from it what i can" then move on.
another thing that can help. be aware of your breathing. that means, focus on nothing but your breathing. close your eyes if that will help. deep breathes, of any speed. slower = relaxing, faster = you will experience a moment when time does not exist and a vast expance of space that is in your head. its a wild thing. i only just experience the faster one last week. i was standing in a push up stance , with my hands on the edge of a table as if i was abotu to do some push ups, then decided to breathe. deep semi fast (not like really fast where it will tire you out, just faster then normal.) then my mind just opened up. i felt like i was going to faint but then i controled it and realized it was just space. it was wild. completely energized me tho
