Any feedback is appriciated
I got an A in class and hopefully ill be using it in my exams in June.
Silence. Thats what i heard. It probably wasnt quiet. Prehaps some inner mechanics hissed somewhere deep indside the wreck, crying out, in pain from a justice prehaps dealt by a God that wasnt so fair. Bodies groaning after the inhumane fury that rushed at us. Then, the smoke cleared. The world came back into deep focus. A clear picture that slammed into my brain, reverberated around, invading every nook and cranny. Flooding it with one thought. 'Im alive'. The day started out as any other. No one could of known that by evening i was lucky to be alive.
A friday night. What to do? The truth is not much. The majestic mountains that dominate this landscape and make it, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful places on earth also exclude and imprision us. Cut us from reality and keep us enclosed in the bubble of monotony. Somtimes it feels good to burst a bubble. So, friday night, some of us decided to escape, to immerse ourselves in a culture frowned upon my many people. A culture that brought us together and, in the end, nearly destroyed us.
Teenagers are odd creatures. The battle within us that explodes with purberty takes us over. We like thrill. We love fast cars, violence and sex. Everything is new to us. We want to see, touch, smell and taste everything this world has to offer. Its okay though. Teenagers are also indestructible. Time is infinate. Well, we think we are. You might say that the night we took our lives into our own hands. We say that we were doing what we always did: Lived, explored. Whatever any of us thinks makes no difference at the end of the day. It happened. With an almighty bang, a split second of horror, prehaps a lifetime or guilt and a considerable dash on humility. It happened.
Darkness. Silence. The acrid smell that seemed to permeate my entire body. The others? What happened? 'GET ME OUT OF HERE'. So many emotions. The crazy desire to laugh, cry and get down on my knees and pray. Suddenly, common sense kicks in. We need to get out. Away from the mangled wreck that used to contain so many happy memories. Blood. Crying. Cold. Shaking. 'Call an ambulance'. 'Oh my god...'. People, lights flashing, people asking questions i cant quite comprehend. The glass down our trousers. Thats one thing actually. Among the wreckage, carnage and sadness we laughed. We had too. If we didnt laugh, we'd cry. Not leak a few tears but sob until it shook our very core. Blood all over his face, dripping off him. Almost like bloody tears. Cut heads and bruised hips. Sore chests and a broken arm.
Time passes. Im not sure how long. Maybe an hour? Im not sure any of us know. More people. People with uniforms. Poking, prodding. Cutting and clawing their way though it. Suffering its last indignity. Freedom, out of the confines. Tears. So many tears. Hugs. Reassurances that mean nothing. Its over. I can go. Back home where i know the memory will haunt me. Assaulting my mind over and over. Home. Comforted. Warm but so so cold on the inside. Shivering. Trying to shake the memory. Back into darkness. The night swallowing me up. Trying to steal me into its loving embrace that for some unknown reason im resisting with every fibre of my being. Pain, freash and sharp everytime i move. Ive never felt so gloriously alive. My body reacting to every touch in a way it never has before. Savouring every moment like a lovers kiss. My mind whirring at 100 miles per hour. All the things i shouldve said. Oppurtunities missed, doors closed by my own hand. But, i remind myself, now there is time. Something i never appriciated before. Time to right all the wrongs.
Later, much later. The pain in my body leaves. The pain in my heart doesnt. Anything and everything takes me back. Back to somewhere i wish id never been. Sleep eludes me. So much to do, so little time. Or maybe its too much time to decide what to do? My scars will remind me ive felt pain. Ive been there and i dont want to go back. I dont want to see that again. The pain, the sheer pain written on peoples faces so blatently. Nothing will be the same. You cant look at things the same. It would be an insult to whatever saved us. You cant ignore the worlds largest and loudest alarm clock. Why would you? I have time, do you?