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05-16-2012, 06:50 AM
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#1 | | Junior Member
Name: lindsey Gender: Female Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: sutter creek, California!! Posts: 173
Money: 5,511 Last Online: 05-13-2013 10:30 AM My Mood: | Kissed best friend of 4 years So, a week ago I kissed my best friend of 4 years for the first time. We had been talking about it for about a year but everytime we saw each other, we just ignored all our fb and skype conversations. (I only get to see him every few months cause he lives a ways away).
A little background:
I've like him for about 4 years, the entire time we've been best friends, and I loved him for about the last 2. He knew this after last New Years Eve (a year ago). He'd always been very "i don't want to ruin the friendship" thing so I was always thinking that well, oh well, he doesn't like me that way, whatever. But about 3 weeks ago we were talking on skype and I was talking about these two guys that I had gone on dates with and all of a sudden he started throwing his name into the mix. I teased him about it, thinking that he was joking. But after a little proding, he came out and admitted that he had liked me since we went to prom together in our junior year (about 2 years ago). We talked about this for a little bit then said goodbye.
So fastforward to a week ago:
He sent me a text saying that he was at the high school watching his little brother's baseball game so i headed over there. After a bit of actually watching the game we headed up into the actual campus and walked around a bit, we were obviously both thinking the same thing and finally after a lot of dancing around the subject and my having to go home, he just flat out said "you want to try it? I know that you've been thinking about it" i responded "you have been too" and he just smiled and
It was akward. I didn't feel anything. Nothing. It wasn't that it was bad, It wasn't that it was good. It was just nothing! I just don't know. Years and it was just nothing! I didn't even think about after it happened. It took me like 2 days to accept that it happened. Normally when I make out with someone, and yes this was makeout, I at least think about it a little.
A few minutes in he stopped and said "this is akward" and i just agreed and he walked me to my car and I went home. What do you think made it that bad?
I think it might be that there were 4 little girls that were spying on us, we totally knew. or that it was in a parking lot. Or that there was so much pressure on it. Or that we'd known each other for too long. Or that maybe neither of us were in the mood? I don't know. Your thoughts?
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05-16-2012, 10:08 AM
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#2 | | New Member
Name: Ethan Gender: Male Join Date: May 2012 Location: Oregon Posts: 20
Money: 409 Last Online: 06-19-2012 12:32 PM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years I think the thing is, if you think of something too much, as many (including myself) are prone to do, you will end up sort of subconsciously expecting something. I mean, your brain goes "ok, so I've thought this through, that means itll happen like how i thought of it." Even though normally, you dont know this is happening, it does. The best thing to do, I think, is to think of it as a funny story, and to move on. If you both still like each other, then things will happen naturally (I know, sorry, so cliche) but in my relationship thus far, things tend to work best for us when maybe we lightly joke about planning something like a kiss, etc, but then we stop and see what happens. Hope that helps? |
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05-16-2012, 10:30 AM
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#3 | | ***** VIP Member
Gender: Male Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 548
Money: 9,286 Last Online: Today 09:45 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years Too much pressure seems to have been it... couldn't tell you how to fix that, but emanb29 seems to have the answer your looking for
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05-16-2012, 08:57 PM
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#4 | | Member
Name: Adam Gender: Male Join Date: May 2011 Location: Washington DC Posts: 494
Money: 3,498 Last Online: 10-19-2012 03:40 AM | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years What else are you looking for? Fireworks don't grace the sky when people makeout. You say you like him. So yeah, there'd probably be some awkwardness after 4 years of being friends / waiting, but either you're attracted to him or you're not. Not sure what else you're supposed to feel...
__________________ When I'm not fighting mountain lions for sport, I read about broken homes, teenage depression, and other such life-improving awesomeness cause I'm weird like that |
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05-17-2012, 06:29 AM
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#5 | | Junior Member
Name: lindsey Gender: Female Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: sutter creek, California!! Posts: 173
Money: 5,511 Last Online: 05-13-2013 10:30 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years no i wasn't looking for fireworks. I'm not a hopeless romantic and i've kissed enough people to know that things like that don't happen but this wasn't like a normal kiss. It was just nothing. Trust me, there's a difference. I guess I would put it to like, kissing a wall or something. I'm thinking that yeah, it was probably just too much pressure. I don't know. I suppose all I can do is just see how things go.
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05-17-2012, 12:47 PM
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#6 | | Junior Member
Name: lindsey Gender: Female Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: sutter creek, California!! Posts: 173
Money: 5,511 Last Online: 05-13-2013 10:30 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years he just told me that he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. That he never wants to talk to me again.
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05-17-2012, 11:58 PM
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#7 | | New Member
Name: Dan Gender: Male Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Little Gaddesden Posts: 77
Money: 672 Last Online: 06-14-2012 02:42 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years That's harsh /: I'd like a girl to make the first move on me, long time friend or not.
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05-18-2012, 04:24 AM
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#8 | | New Member
Gender: Female Join Date: May 2012 Location: kansas Posts: 11
Money: 328 Last Online: 05-21-2012 02:58 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years oh my gosh. i know this feelings. i dated a guy for 6 months and everytime he kissed me i didnt feel anything. i used to think that was NORMAL. maybe you should try and fix things with him. be honest with him, say you didnt feel anything, but you still value the friendship. |
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05-18-2012, 08:16 AM
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#9 | | Junior Member
Name: lindsey Gender: Female Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: sutter creek, California!! Posts: 173
Money: 5,511 Last Online: 05-13-2013 10:30 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years I did tell him about it. And he said the same thing. And things aren't going to get fixed up with him. I think that's it. It only took me talking to someone I really trust to make me realize that he was just holding me back. I'm going to college, he's going in the military. I'm making more friends, he's burning bridges. I have a solid job, he can't keep a job. We've completely grown apart and it just took him telling me everything that was wrong with me last night for me to realize that. It's his loss.
__________________ - Team Jacob don't forget to rep your favorite jacob loving member! |
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05-18-2012, 11:06 AM
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#10 | | New Member
Name: Ethan Gender: Male Join Date: May 2012 Location: Oregon Posts: 20
Money: 409 Last Online: 06-19-2012 12:32 PM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years Well, im sorry that it couldnt work quite perfectly. I feel a bit bad for the guy, he mightve had a chance with you. Oh well, good for you, you seem to have your life on track  |
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05-20-2012, 10:01 AM
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#11 | | Junior Member
Name: lindsey Gender: Female Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: sutter creek, California!! Posts: 173
Money: 5,511 Last Online: 05-13-2013 10:30 AM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years No, don't feel bad for him. He was the one that "broke up" with me as friends. It was only after that happened, and his telling me everything that was wrong with me to figure out that he was holding me back.
__________________ - Team Jacob don't forget to rep your favorite jacob loving member! |
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05-20-2012, 12:09 PM
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#12 | | New Member
Name: Ethan Gender: Male Join Date: May 2012 Location: Oregon Posts: 20
Money: 409 Last Online: 06-19-2012 12:32 PM My Mood: | Re: Kissed best friend of 4 years You go girl  |
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