Confessing Love to My Ex

xEarthquake754 · 01-04-2008, 10:07 AM

Sorry ahead of time is this ends up being a little lengthy:

I was with a guy for around a year. We broke up after dating for 9 months. He and my best friend became best friends as well, so he tells her everything now too. He told her that his reasoning for breaking up with me is that after being together for nearly a year, he loved me to death and I still didn't love him after that long. It hurt him a lot that after all that time together, I still didn't feel as he did. You might think that it's stupid and whiny of him, but love's something he's really into and he really wanted with us. He also told her recently that he misses me a lot. He's always staring at me when I'm looking the other direction and he's so jealous of any of my guy friends still.

Now the irony of the situation...I truly love him. I actually fell in love with him around the 7th month, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him because when I began to feel it, we were at our alltime low. I felt as though he didn't care for me as much as he always had, and if I told him how I really felt, that I truly love him, then if/when he hurt me, it'd only hurt twice as much. I'd somehow feel as though if he hurt me, atleast he wouldn't be leaving with everything I had (meaning my love). So because of that, I never got the chance to tell him. He ended up hurting me because I didn't love him, and I never told him I love him because I didn't want him to end up hurting me. Painfully ironic.

Well it's been 2 months since we've been apart, and today actually would've made our 1 year anniversary. I figured what day better to finally tell him I really love him than today, a special day for us despite being broken up. I waited for him after school, and I told him that I love him. He was speechless and said nothing for a good 10 seconds. We just stood there in silence. I think he was shocked that I really ended up loving him after all. The only thing he could manage to say- "I don't know what to say..." I told him that I didn't expect him to be able to say anything right away or know what to say, and he apologized for that.

I don't know if he still loves me or lost his love for me ovr the past 2 months of being apart. He didn't tell me he loves me too, but maybe because we're broken up. He didn't tell me that he's sorry I felt like that, but maybe because he didn't want to hurt me even more. I have no idea how he feels towards me now and what his reaction towards me finally telling him I love him is, besides him being speechless for a minute. I don't know if things will change between us since he knows that I love him now and that's the only reason we broke up in the first place.

Is there a chance that me telling him will make things better?
Could he have just gotten over everything in just 2 months?
How do you guys think he feels about me and me telling him I love him?
Any advice or thoughts will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the time.

onyxeyes · 01-04-2008, 11:30 AM

That made me really sad and I hope that he does still feel the same way about you and still loves you.

xEarthquake754 · 01-05-2008, 10:22 AM

=\ I really, really hope so. But I'm so lost at this point. Any advice or opinions from anybody?

pasta_airplanes · 01-05-2008, 04:05 PM

Just tell him your reasons. I think that's the best you can do.