well my relationship with this girl has been one of confusion. long story short she now lives on the other side of this planet. anyway, we've had break ups then getting back together, little fights really. she use to tell me everything and how i saved her life (she had terrible break up from past ex, 10 friends dying (6 in the past 3 months), dad hitting her, drugs, her past and soo many other problems) but for the past few weeks she really doesnt know if she loves me or not.
"one day i feel like pushing you away, the next day i cant stop loving/thinking about you".

idk y its been like that but i found out recently that one of her friends is now going to war or something and her closest friend who lives somewhere else away from both of us is doing heroin. AND for the past 2 weeks shes been taking heroin. she says nothing else makes her feel good anymore cept heroin and how her life is worthless. she was starting to fail her grades but lucky one of her friends got her to promise she'd do good in school and she always keeps her promises so shes been getting A's B's.


I've had my mind set that i try to be her best friend and help her clear her mind of all the other problems first before coming back to me but she talks to her other friends more than me and she never shows that she cares for me and shows she cares for her friends, It's like from being her love/savour of her life to now not even a close friend of hers....

ok heres my problem now. I think i have some form of obsessive love. I watched some Doctor Phil crap on t.v (nothing else on) and it was about obsessive love and soon after i researched into it.
i dont have a desperation for love though and i always aimed for friendship when we first met.

I only have a few things relating to Obsessive Love that sound like me, mainly:

-feeling empty everytime i think of her.

- Anger, rage for not loving me anymore.(at one point)

(and what i dread the most and i beleive makes it an obsession)
- going through her things like bebo and such and reading her messages which just make it worse.

I quit doing it and its progressively getting better but eventraully i just go back but its not like im scared that shes unfaithful, its that i need to know whats wrong with her and since she cant talk to me about it its just not good for me.

im 100% sure she wouldnt love someone else unless she'd tell me first but hearing messages like "think of me hun while ur gone" to her close friends just makes me miss how she says that kind of stuff to me. I changed my status to single on those bebo kind of things and she just cryed for hours and then i changed it back and now her list of what she loves doesnt have my name on it anymore, and her relationship status says "single, not looking" (she did only after i changed mine so i guess it was out of spite)

I give lots of advice to friends and such over msn but I never acturally asked for advice back in my life. I felt like telling school counciler but i dont feel like it once im at school. what helped me cope during a really bad time though was just writing in some journal and im jsut shocked at what i wrote but now i dont feel like writing my problems in a book.

im still talking to her on msn and she cares about me, blah blah blah. she said stuff before like "I'm fucked up and i love you too much to hurt you." and now i have this....

What i beleive is she needs time but also needs to resolve all her problems to have a clear mind and then choose if she loves me still or not. I want to still be her friend to remind her that im there for her, but it hurts me not having her show affection for me and i jsut feel like not talking to her at all unless its about her problems, and she doesnt want to talk about her problems so im left to guess how she feels.

I've had gf's before but she's the only girl i've acturally loved more than my family, But is this girl an obsession of mine?