Hi,

First of all I'd like to say hello cause this is my first post. my names Edd, im 14 and I've never had a relationship or come close for that matter. I'm half, half (chinese and western) and Im really small for my age and year group. I get pushed around a lot by the bigger guys and a few occasions when I get racial comments thrown at me.

The problem is, is that I think that girls are not interested with me is because of my size and possibly race. The reason i've suddenly come up with this is because i've seen a girl i like and unfortunatly shes in the year above however shes only a few inches taller than me so not that bad. She looks at me a lot and smiles and I smile back but even worse she has a boyfriend 3 years older than her (four years older than me). She seems special, shes definitely beautiful and I hear she has a great personallity from what i gathered from friends who are in my year, so she seems very special.

I just feel like if i get involved with her maybe her boyfriend will try to have a go at me and i can barely hold off boys in my own year, nevermind those 4 years older than me. However, once again the tables turn her boyfriend leaves school in 3 days and only comes back for exams, and after that he goes off to uni, so i could have a chance there.

I also feel that because im small girls see me more of a cute "baby" than the boyfriend status.

So yes, the first time, it seems really scary to me, I have completely no idea what I should do to possibly go out with her. I hope someone can help and thankyou, it would be very much appreciated


Edd

Well today I saw her in the lunch hall and we smiled at each other, I went in to put my tray down and when i came out I saw her walking in to get a drink or something and there was a slight pause as we looked and smiled at each other. Actually we were quite close to banging into each other which would be incredibly embaressing. We were about a metre apart so closest I've been to her, and when i saw her i actually felt like I was on a big dip of a rollar coaster. She seems to be looking at me quite a lot and i think we both share the times we've taken glances at each other. I'm just totally confused what I should say when I finally start talking to her and maybe even go to the movies. She seems to be really popular, always has boys clinging around her and girls always around and its definitely not her first time because she already has a boyfriend a lot older so do you think it'l be ok because its my first time? I'm quite shy at times in front of strangers and nevertheless a girl i like very much. I'm not very popular myself in my year etleast but my brothers, also legends because of their size and we're considered as "boffs" which I think is fair because im in most of the top sets except french. So with the older boys especially in my house (cause our school has houses) I'm great friends with and they find me the most fun since my older brother came, and friends talk to friends so a lot of popularity spreads and another reason every knows me is because almost everyday I come late to chapel and once i tripped increasing my embarressment in front of the entire school .

I've liked her a lot and i think she has known this for 30 weeks or so and yet all i've done is glance and smile at her and it seems to have increased these past couple weeks or so, so she is still interested which to me is great

What do you guys think i should do?

Once again your help is greatly appreciated,

Edd

so could someone help me?

Uh, dude, you don't even know her. You can't like someone you don't know. And, in case you forgot, she has a boyfriend. Whether he's in school or not is irrelevant.

~Maggot

I have no experience since I have been in any relationship.

Have you talked to her so far ? Try to make conversation

It's hard if you don't talk to her. My case is the same. I have not talked to the one I like until 2 months ago when I asked her out to prom. After that, I still did not talk to her a lot. However, it's getting better 2 weeks before prom. We talked more and more. I helped her with schoolwork, went to her game,... Eventually, we had a fun prom night.

My advice is to talk to her or somehow contact her. Especially, don't express yourself too early like I did, just gradually move on ( I told her I like her after prom and she rejected already. We had like 3 days of non talking this week but then I talked to her again yesterday.)

According to my friend, You can use the "magic". Asians have the charm that can attract people. I am a full Asian too. I don't think it's true for me but it's true for my friend. He is half Filipino, half American. I think it's only work for a mix like you and him, not a pure like me.

Good luck

I don't think its about race i'm half filipino and half canadian. Your only 14 you still have lots of time to find someone. But I think you should start talking to her and actually find out yourself about her personality. Just cause she has a boyfriend at the moment doesnt mean you can't talk to her as a friend. But while she's taken, you can't really do anything about it.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I heard the other day though, through some of her friends that the relationship she is in is dying. I hardly ever see them together, during lunch they're usually nearly on opposite ends of the room and I just never see her with him except the first time.

What I forgot to tell you was that she sort of wanted to go out with me when i first came (30 weeks ago) but i think it was more of a joke to her own year, (especially the boys), well maybe she was serious about it but it would'nt have mattered then because i was really not ready for anything at all.

I'm going to talk to her soon and i'l see how it goes

thankyou for the advice

You're 14. You're still not ready for anything at all.

~Maggot

Yeah. I am 17 now but still not ready.

I did not know anything about dating and stuffs when I was 14. My life contained only studying

hey there,

as a 14 year old guy, i think i had the same problems when i was younger.. i'm 17 now
i had my first date when i was 13 =P at that time, everything was sweet and nice, the girl was also a little older than me, but oh well who cares =)

i suggest you should just go slowly with her, the first feeling she have for you must be that you're young but secure, you dont have to prove to her that you're strong enough to protect her from anything (that's quite impossible...) just let her know no matter what you will be there to support her... i truly think that girls need that more than physical support!

as for me now, i like a girl that's younger than me, the only reason i'm not being with her is that i dont wanna defy her parents about not allowing her to date at a young age... i dont know how long this can last but i'm sure i love her and i'll wait.

You've never even talked to her so you don't know her or what type of personality she has. You can't like someone if you don't know them.

Also, you should forget about her because she has a boyfriend and you need to respect that. Girls who are in relationships typically don't like it when guys try to date them when they know they have a boyfriend.

I don't really understand what is going on, she had a boyfriend and yet she said she wanted to go out with me and she always looking at me and smiling, she doesent do it to anyone else cand shes not using me because she does it everytime she sees me, and everytime she sees me her boyfriend is not there, is she respecting the fact she has a boyfriend, or is he just looking for someone new, (ie planning to lose her current boyfriend)? I'm a little confused about whats going on, and i'm not that stupid to just jump into a date or something, I probably don't have the guts to anyway, I know that if i even come close I should take it slow.

Can I just ask, where do the most of you people live, its out of the question but i was just wondering.

Just ask her. It will be too rude if you jump in and kick that guy out.

For exmaple, at first, I feel bad when I like this one. She used to date a guy in the class. They broke up last November or around that time. He and I are close friends. I feel weird jumping in. Thus, I asked him if there was still something between them. He said No, we are just friends now. She is open for you now. He even offered to help me.

The point here is just make sure even if it's kind of strange

Again, just move on. Nothing is going to happen with the two of you.

Dude, find out what's her phone number and text her. Start with 'what are you doing' and stuff then be honest and tell her what are you feeling. Add some sweet words and hopefully she will like it.
I'm 14 too and I like a girl who's 15 (just like you), she's from another town and she comes here only on week-ends and in the summer break. I tried this and it kinda worked for me.
And don't be afraid to call her. But try not to do so when she's with friends because this might be kinda funny for them and kinda embarassing for you and maybe the girl, too.
Try this and let me know if it works.