Desperate for a baby

-rachel- · 05-28-2008, 03:12 PM

I have been with my bf on and off for over 3 years, I am 17 and he is 21. People may have their opinions on the ages and that but thts not what im here for so plz dont slag tht off until u no me or him! we have been thru soo many rough patches but things are sortin things out. he keeps sayin he wants to have a bby and i rele want one to i would love to make our relationship into a family. We have discussed it and neither of us are on alot of money but we get by. We have tried for a baby before and i unfortunatly lost the previous baby after 17 weeks. will this affect my chances of concieving and does anybody have any tips or advice? x

Goddess of Judecca · 05-28-2008, 03:18 PM

1) Why you lost the previous baby would affect future chances.
2) Having enough money to "get by" isn't anywhere near enough to support a kid.
3) Learn to speak and type like an intelligent human being before reproducing. Honestly, we don't need more people with your lack of grammatical and linguistic skills running around.

~Maggot

lambshank · 05-28-2008, 03:22 PM

first of i don't think the age is a problem

But anyway! If you want a baby I mean really want a baby and you know that your going to be able to cope then I said go ahead!

Hope It Works Out For You!!!

captain_kurenai · 05-28-2008, 03:36 PM

The fact that you lost the first one is probably a good indication you're not ready for one. And yes, it can affect your chances of having a second one, which I don't think you should worry about until a few years from now when you're financially secure.

If you and your boyfriend are only getting by now money-wise, expect yourselves to be homeless within the first couple weeks of your little bundle of joy.

-rachel- · 05-28-2008, 03:40 PM

we have a flat so there is no chance of being homeless. and when i said "we get by" we pay the bills and we always have enough food and clothes we ent tramps! we just dont have the money to throw away on shit is what i mean.

thank you to those who are actually supportive

captain_kurenai · 05-28-2008, 03:45 PM

Are you renting that flat? If so, then there's still a chance of being homeless. You have enough money to pay for the bills and the basics, but will you have enough to pay for what the baby needs? More importantly, will you have enough for the BABY'S education? What about your own education? Will you be bale to get by on just your high school degree and your boyfriend's high school maybe associates degree? Who's going to look after the baby when you both have to go to work?

Have you really thought this through? If you haven't, it's not you I'm worried about, it's this child you plan on having.

Goddess of Judecca · 05-28-2008, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -rachel-

we have a flat so there is no chance of being homeless. and when i said "we get by" we pay the bills and we always have enough food and clothes we ent tramps! we just dont have the money to throw away on shit is what i mean.

thank you to those who are actually supportive

Yes, and that's not nearly enough to support a kid with. I'm glad to see you're so prepared for this.

~Maggot

lambshank · 05-28-2008, 03:48 PM

I think you will be fine!!!!!

you have a place to live and enough money go ahead!!!

Let us know how it goes !!!!!

-rachel- · 05-28-2008, 03:54 PM

well i dont just have a high school degree i am currently studying four a levels and goin on to do another BTEC in september, but thank you for the concern of my education! and as for my boyfriend he is currently thru the process of becoming a specials police officer. The Babys education wont need to be payed for for 18 years and all the basics he or she will need through out school and college can be supplied for, the money isnt as much of an issue as you are all making out?!?

-rachel- · 05-28-2008, 03:55 PM

captain_kurenai · 05-28-2008, 04:03 PM

You didn't answer my question on who's going to look after your kid when you go to work and you didn't answer my question on whether you're renting the flat or not. Are you two like .. spoiled rich kids or something? Because last time I checked this sort of situation doesn't fare well when you bring a baby into the mix. Also, I hope you're planning to have this baby a few years from now because chances are your body is still reeling from that miscarriage.

Doughnut · 05-28-2008, 04:23 PM

Apparently there's only one other person in this thread thinking logically.

You're 17 years old.
It seems all great when you think about it, but you probably can't even look after yourself yet.
You haven't thought about this logically at all.
What about when your boyfriends job goes wrong (it's possible) and you can't work because you need to look after the baby. Who's going to sacrifice their meals so you can make sure your baby is properly cared for?
My mother had me at 18 and my father left when i was 2, some days she couldn't eat because she couldn't afford food for her AND baby food, nappies ect.

THINK ABOUT IT.
NO BABY OR MOTHER SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT.

stars&straps · 05-28-2008, 06:45 PM

I have a baby i get by really good (:

i don't recommend young people to have babies just because they want to...
i had my reasons so don't ask (:

having a miscarriages wont effect your chances of conceiving, but make your body really prepared for it like seriously eat the right foods and exerciser everyday.

if your going to go through with it, wich i don't really think you should yet (atleast until your 20 something) then be prepared money wise seriously biggest commitment ever.

i suggest you have a good talk to your mummy (:

P.SSSSSSSS if your gonna do it anyways:
labor is fucking ridiculously painful get as many drugs into ya as you can, but don't go GAS its shit. go with morphine.

and another thing; babies are not really hard work..
i mean if you love something that much its not work. everyone says how much work they are but there not really its an awesome job.

onyxeyes · 05-29-2008, 12:39 AM

You're not ready to have a baby.

1)You're 17, you're not mentally or emotionally mature enough to have a child.
2)You and your boyfriend just "get by", babies are expensive.
3)You don't have a stable relationship, you said that you and your boyfriend have been on and off, that indicates that you're not stable. Most likely if you were to have the baby and he couldn't take the pressure, he would leave you.

Having a child will create a lot of pressure on both you and your boyfriend individually, and as a couple. Have you actually thought about this and what it means to be a parent?

Goddess of Judecca · 05-29-2008, 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onyxeyes

You're not ready to have a baby.

1)You're 17, you're not mentally or emotionally mature enough to have a child.

To be fair, you don't know that for sure. Granted, based on her post, it's safe to say she's not even as mature as she should be, let alone is she more mature than that. But not all 17-year-olds are like that. My boyfriend has a daughter, and the mother was 17 when she gave birth (give or take a year), and she's been a wonderful mother.

But that's all thoroughly pointless anyway, seeing as this girl obviously isn't mature enough. I'm just saying basing that accusation on her age isn't really fair or accurate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by -rachel-

well i dont just have a high school degree i am currently studying four a levels and goin on to do another BTEC in september, but thank you for the concern of my education! and as for my boyfriend he is currently thru the process of becoming a specials police officer. The Babys education wont need to be payed for for 18 years and all the basics he or she will need through out school and college can be supplied for, the money isnt as much of an issue as you are all making out?!?

You think education is the primary thing you're gonna have to pay for? El oh el. Try medical bills (while you're pregnant - very expensive), hospital bills while you're giving birth (if anything goes wrong, be prepared to pay a lot more), medical bills for the newborn, diapers, child-proofing, books, toys, clothes (they grow very fast during their first few years, so be prepared to pay hundreds-thousands on clothes), bottles, bathing supplies, etc., not to mention medical bills later as far as shots and checkups and everything. Also, you'll be out of work for a while, so you won't be getting a paycheck. And there is undeniably more that I'm not thinking of right off the top of my head.

~Maggot