I was talking to someone about my relationship recently and she suggested that me and my boyfriend should just break up. Let me tell you, this suggestion of hers made me very mad for many reasons.

She feels we should break up because we're not that intimate in public and we only see each other once a week. In fact, we hardly even talk that much these days.

I don't want to break up.

Yes, we may only see each other once a week, but I'm okay with it. Sure, sometimes it sucks but at the same time, before this once a week thing started he told me "I'm not sure if we'll be able to see each other as much as you want to, is that okay with you?" So I feel that breaking up with him for the sole reason that we dont' see each other much is well .. stupid. I knew what I was getting into, I think I should deal with it. I find ways to work around it too by calling dibs on his days off from work ahead of time and I go see him at his work place as long as his boss isn't around. We go to work and college, hence the reason why we don't see each other much.

Also, we're not that intimate in public because we choose not to. We hold hands, and we'll cuddle and hug a little bit and small goodbye kisses but that's about it. According to the person I was talking to we should be doing more but we're just not comfortable with it. She doesn't seem to understand that though.

Me and my boyfriend currently don't have any problems with each other and things are going quite well. I'm actually pretty offended that someone would suggest we break up.

So tell me, what do you think and what should I tell this girl ... that's polite and ... 'nice. Quite frankly I'd love to just kick her face in.

She's not really being all that rude, depending on the context in which she said it. Like, if you were talking to her about it, and she just said, "You guys should just break up. You're a sucky couple," or something, then, yeah, that'd be rude and offensive. But if you were talking and it was like, "I think you guys should just break up because you don't seem to be very close, but that's just me," then she didn't really do anything wrong. She just expressed an opinion. Many people think real relationships (and by "real" I mean genuine, not-for-show or -entertainment types) should be about insane amounts of love, constant uncontrollable affection, the desperate need to see each other, etc.

It's a relatively understandable assumption that if y'all don't talk much, hardly see each other, and aren't very affectionate (at least for anyone else to know that you are), the relationship is pretty...empty. I'd think the same thing if I were watching a relationship like that. I may not say it, but I may, depending on the circumstance.

~Maggot

Hmm .. how did she say it ... well, I was jsut talking about it and she kind of just said "I think you two should break up" and that was it. I asked her why and she said "Well, it just seems like a waste of time since you two don't see each other much"

Me and my boyfriend actually talked about that once and we both agreed that those kind of relationships just .... aren't for us. I was in one and it kind of sucked because I'm not exactly like that and my ex was and it bothered me a lot because it felt smothering. But that's just us ...

"How can I miss you if you don't go away?" lol

In the beginning of our relationship we had a lot of time for each other, but when college started and we both started working we didn't have much time. My parents have been real nice and before they never let me go to his house, but now they do as long as his parents are home. Only thing that sucks is that the place he lives is pretty out of the way (through the valley and up the mountain ... almost literally) and he usually works on weekends and we both hate his boss because his boss overworks him and is a real @$$ about giving him days off (thank god he's quitting). Heck, even this summer he's got a bit of summer school to do and I gotta look for a new job too.

I guess the fact that we're kind of distant outside of the bedroom makes it seem like our relationship ain't all that great.

If she just said that's what she thinks, I don't see the problem with it. Like I said, she was just expressing her opinion. People have said that about my relationships, and I've said that about others'.

*shrugs* Personally, I don't see how you can love someone and not be dying to at least talk to them regularly, if not be with them, and how it doesn't kill you to not be affectionate (although I realise the latter is something some enjoy while others don't). But talking is...the most basic part of the whole thing. It's how you start loving someone to begin with and how you keep a relationship going. Like, I about die if I have to go two days without talking to my boyfriend. Even one day is hard on me (I'm clingy, though, which I'll outright admit).
It's hard for me to say since I can't observe it. I just know what I've been through and how I feel.

~Maggot

Usually I don't say anything unless if they ask. Otherwise I usually say something that doesn't help like "It's up to you" or "If you really think so". Then when they ask if I think they should break up I say "Hmm, whatever you wanna do". I mean, if they're just telling me about their relationship I don't say anything constructive (unless if there's clearly a problem like abuse evident). If they ask what I think, then I tell them what I think.

Yeah, I know a lot of people value talking but both me and him aren't big talkers. Like you know how people like to talk to their hair dressers? Mine always gets a little concerned cause I never say anything. I'll answer basic questions like how I'm doing, but I don't carry on conversations much. My boyfriend is the same way, but he tends to be a little bit more talkative. When we do have something to talk about though we can go on forever lol. Besides, poor boy is always so tired. I've had him fall asleep on me on the phone/keyboard several times. He apologizes in the morning or later on in a text, whenever he wakes up really.

As for the affection bit, well ... like I said, we prefer to keep the PDA very low. Then again, our 'low PDA' is a bit more close to normal I think. A lot of couples are are very ... liberal with their affections. It's common to see a couple making out at the mall and the guy totally has his hand up his girl's shirt and she's touching him all over too. Depending on where we are depends on what sort of affection we show. If we're in front of his work place it's jsut a small goodbye kiss. If we're waiting for his turn on the Initial D machine and there happens to be an open chair, I'm usually sitting on his lap and we'll be cuddling, or if we're in the mall lounge we'd be cuddling too. Except today, it was really hot and I didn't want to touch him otherwise it'd get even hotter and we'd both start sweating.

lol maybe we have such different views on this because I'm not as clingy. I must give you kudos for recognizing that too. It annoys me how some girls can get so clingy and then when you tell them that they're being too clingy they get all .... 'in your face' about it.

Sometimes I think me and my boyfriend are like the married couple that's been together forever already :X