So, I was dating this guy named Blake for about 8 months, but I ended up moving away because my mother was abusive. I came to live in Hawaii with my dad and my grandmother, but then my dad died. Now I'm moving back at the end of this month.

Blake stuck through all of this with me, and we continued to have a long distance relationship while I was away. We are both really close, and he's the only guy that I felt I could be with for a really long time. I care a LOT about him, and I really love him, and I know he must have felt the same way too, if he was willing to go through everything, and wait for me to come back.

However, we did have some problems. I wasn't very truthful about my past when we first started dating, so I began opening up more when I was gone. This caused him to have a trust issue, which I understood. But about a year and a half into our relationship, he started becoming really good friends with this girl named Becky. He was at her house almost everyday, and when we talked on the phone everyday he would talk about her a lot. I was fine with it at first, because he had just recently started hanging out with more friends, and he seemed really happy. But then I started finding out that he was telling her that he "loved her". And I knew it was only in a friend way, but when I asked him to stop, he got mad and started defending her. I let it go, but after a while, them always being together really got to me, since I never got to see him, and he started not calling me because he'd be out somewhere with her. Although, it was never really just with her, he'd always have some guy friends there too.

Finally, I ended up breaking up with him, when I started realizing how he was slowly putting less into our relationship, and because I didn't like the jealous person that I was becoming. About a week later, I find out that he liked Becky, when all along he was telling me that he would never date her, because of whatever reason. So we stopped talking for about a month. We were supposed to talk once a week, because that was what we agreed to, but I just stopped calling, because I didn't want to call if he didn't want to talk to me, and I figured if he did, then he would call. Finally, he ended up calling me, and he said that he wanted to talk to me more, and that he called because he thought I was giving up on him (and that he didn't want me to), and that he has every intention of being with me when I get back, and that he thinks that there's no one else like me, and that he misses me. But now I'm confused, because he keeps sending mixed signals. I'll be coming back at the end of this month, but I'm not sure how to act. I don't know how he feels about anything really, because he doesn't really talk about how he feels. And normally I'd just drop him and go like I did with all my other relationships, but this is honestly the first guy I've ever put my all into the relationship with, and I really think that we could be together for a while, because we get a long really well when we were not having trust issues.

I guess I just don't know how to go about to make things better before or once I get back. Any advice towards the situation or what I should do? I'd really appreciate it.

OKay, from how I see it, long-distance relationships can be excruciatingly hard to keep. It sounds like he does like you, he's not always around you, and since it's easier being closer to this other chick, he's started to like her as well. You guys seemed to have had a good relationship, it was just hard because you two were so far away. I suggest that maybe when you get back, the both of you should hang out and see how it goes. If it hits off really well, then if it feels right to you, get back together. If not, maybe you can still be good friends.

Thanks, this really helps. :] I'm not sure about the staying friends part though. I mean, I would like to, but even now it's hard because we know practically everything about each other. It's weird to just be friends to someone you're extremely physically attracted to and emotionally close to. But thanks :]

Talk to him about it. Tell him exactly how you feel. I'm sure you can work it out. I would have the conversation in person.

Hmm.. a tough one.
He does seem to genuinely like you, so maybe it's worth another shot, especially as it won't be long distance.
As for the part about this Becky girl, I'm sorry but I don't like the sound of it. As soon as you move back, make sure you watch their behaviour closely if you do decide to get back together.
Talk to him about how you feel, like everything.
Good luck!

Thanks :]

Gah, my stomach dropped when you said you didn't like the sound of it. I really don't want him to feel like I'm watching his every move; I want us to both completely trust each other. And I really want to like her, because she's a good friend of his. I want to tell him how I feel about everything, but I'm not sure how he would take it, as he seems to not like to talk about anything serious having to do with us at the moment.


BTW; thanks to everyone who is taking the time to read everything, I know it's really long.

Hi, it was a fantastic dating advice that you shared with us.
Thanks a lot!

Ok darling,

My advice is to play it cool until you can figure out where he's at. From an outside perspective, it seems like you should get rid of him, but I know what it's like when everybody's telling you to leave somebody but all you want to do is keep him around. You should be friendly and act like you've got everything together, even if you might not...

If you get the feeling that he's just using you to keep himself from being lonely, then he should be history. I really do believe that people can change, and from the sounds of it, he does want to change for you. It's really a matter of if he's able to, or if he gets caught up in the whole mess of the past.

It comes down to the fact that he's got to decide who he loves - if it's you or the Becky girl. If you three are in the same place, it makes it a lot more difficult for him to juggle the two of you. And the other thing is not to start off hating the Becky girl because sometimes this happens without anybody meaning for it to happen. I mean, if she tried to steal him, that's a different story, but it really does sound like she and him just kind of ended up in this situation without any knowledge of it.

Be brave, be strong and if you need anything, message me.

It just really hurts to know that we've been through so much together, and that all of that seems like it doesn't matter anymore because he likes Becky. I doubt that he's using me to keep himself from being lonely. And I know this all sounds bad from an outside perspective, but believe me if it were any other guy I'd get rid of him. I think most of our problems were caused by the distance. So I'm hoping that me being there by the end of this month will help sort everything out. Thanks :]