Ok so hey TH this is my situation I know it's long but please read:

This girl I know we'll call her "X", I met her my freshman year (I'm a senior now) and she was a junior. We hung out a few times and she screwed me over and we stopped talking for about 6 months. Started talking again, same thing happened. So then I didn't hear from her again until my junior year, she was in her first year of college. We talked, dated for a week or so and just stopped talking for no reason really. Well now over summer she texted me and for the last 2 months we have been great friends. We've done stuff and she trusts me with everything.

Now at this point you're probably thinking "why the hell would you even get involved with her again?" This is the complicated part: She had a friend that abused her and took advantage of her. And about 5 months ago she forced him out of her life, but she is still haunted by all the stuff he did. So knowing that he is gone, I have noticed a huge change in her and I honestly believe she has changed. And she has this friend Mark who is one of her really good friends and hey i respect that and everything, i'm not going to be a dick about it. But when she sees him instead of me and texts him a lot more then me, I start to worry because I don't have much trust for her after what she did the first three times to me.

So since these past two months have been going so well (I'm 17 she's 19 btw) everyone thinks we have been dating because we get along so well and I've talked about it with her before and she says she doesn't want a boyfriend, that she makes a better friend. So I was like ok well maybe you'll change your mind. Since then she has told me she loved me and if she were to get married someday she would want it to be to me and how and she doesn't want to lose me etc. Well today I talked to her again about it and she said she still doesn't want a boyfriend, that she makes a better friend than a girlfriend and that there is just less pressure. So I told her yea ok i understand but I honestly don't. I'm going crazy. If you say stuff like that to someone than aren't you more than just friends? I want to hear your thoughts and comments, good or bad.




TL;DR: Girl hurts boy 3 times, boy takes girl back because she's changed. Guy is going crazy because she is doesn't want a relationship. The last paragraph is mainly the important one.

If you really think she has changed, respect that and let things be.

Maybe it would be better to just stay good friends and move on?

Tom.

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If I were you I would just be friends with her. Because she doesn't want a relationship with you. Maybe keep going for a little bit, but if she still doesn't want to be with you, find someone else.

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I would just be good friends with her but I don't know if I could handle it. She is everything I have ever wanted in a girl, and if she were just my friend it'd be like putting a beer in front of a recovering alcoholic.

Spanky, I'm in the exact same situation of you.

Honestly, getting over her is the best way to go, otherwise you'll just go through more and more pain.

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It sucks. It's like you finally found what you've wanted your whole life and you're so close but you can't quite grab it.

But then somebody else grabs it? Or you return one day and find out it has just gone?

Then you start fighting for it, start changing for it, doing anything you can for it, causing yourself more and more pain and becoming who she wants you to be, not who you are.

It's a long, winding road. One I don't think you want to go down.

Tom.

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I have nothing to say except I think it's funny how you call her X...
What? Is she going to stumble across here and be like OMG OMG I know that Spanky dude?
Ahhh reminds me of kingergarten crushes....

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Well you never know, better safe than sorry.

Dont worry spanky, everything happens for a reason. Your 17 thats still young, youll find your dream girl soon enough. But in my opinion shes messing with you.. just move on..

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