I am starting to think that I might be mentally retarded. I just can't seem to express myself around women how I want. There's a girl at university that I really like (she's also become a close friend). I have so far gone on 2 dates with her, and I feel I have wasted every single opportunity that was thrown at me. The first time we went out we went to watch a band play at a club and the conversation was brilliant, we had a great time, but at the end I just had a mind blank when we were about to leave each other and all the plans I had of kissing her or making my feelings known just evaporated and I was left stupidly staring at her train as it went off.

We met up yesterday to have lunch and see a movie. Once again we had a good time. We shared the same ice-cream after lunch and generally just enjoyed each others company. Throughout the movie I kept wanting to just put my arm around her, but something inside me didn't let me. It was a nagging voice in my head telling me that she might reject me and just walk out of the theatre and that for some reason terrified me. After the movie we explored the city a little bit, looking inside old bookshops. Once again there were some ample moments to kiss, especially when it was just us in a darkened corner studying the book she had. Once again I just froze up and didn't do it. The day ended with a warm hug as we went our separate ways and once again I was left kicking my ass at how stupid I was.

We both do the same course (it's a difficult one to get into) and are both highly intelligent, but it seems all my usual dry humour and wit just vanished when I was with her. I sort of felt like a fish blubbering after being taken out of water. The stuff I ended up saying was so hackneyed it might even make the scriptwriters of the 1966 Batman show blush. All the way home I was wondering, trying to brainstorm why I just couldn't bring myself to make a move on her.

Sorry for the long rant, but this has all been rather depressing. I think I severely lack in confidence and I just have no idea on how to improve on that. I have never been in a relationship before, but I feel unless I improve on this, I may never end up being in one. Has anyone else been like this? Where they just freeze up in situations like this and are left to ponder what wrong. I am sure if I was to relive the date I would have kissed her, but one can't change the past. According to my parents and everyone I've talked to, they think she was into me, and I was just too much of a dumbass to capitalise on that, and I'm worrying I've lost all my chances with her now. From what I've heard it's easier to escape from Alcatraz than the friend-zone.

__________________

Every guy has the same fears as you do, do not worry your not alone in this, for me I get this fear everytime I go on a date with a girl, and it's a fear you will have to re-conquer over and over, the thing that helps with me, say I'm in a movie theatre, is that I think to myself, what's going to annoy me more at the end of this date? Her saying lets just be friends, (which lets face it, does not sound like the case, if she is sharing Ice cream with you.) or you not making a move yet again!

For me it is always the latter, I've been in the situation tens of times when I can't bring myself act! The date normally ends with me literally screaming in my head "KISS HER NOW!!!" and I'll tell you, there is no greater feeling that after we hugged and then I pulled her chin upwards towards mine, the kiss was worth any fears, it was worth taking the chance of rejection, a 1000 times over.

__________________

Just go for it... You will always regret not at least attempting to take your relationship to the next level. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

__________________
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss

By the way, I love you Magnifico! Your sheer wit, and the way you structure your sentences sends a chilly little shiver down my spine!
You sound like a very intelligent person, and it was a great read!

__________________

Ah thanks for those responses. They did bring a smile to my face. More importantly though, they brought a conclusion into my mind. She left last week for a short overseas holiday with her mum, so I have a bit of time to wait. But when she gets back I have decided I will take her out for lunch and do as you suggested, and just dive in for the kiss at an appropriate moment.

It is rather amazing that what you described going through your mind is the exact same as what went through mine. My brain was screaming to my body to kiss her, but alas, we all know what happened. I'll just bite the bullet I reckon. Go in with all guns blazing and to hell with the consequences.

Thanks for that help. And thanks that someone else enjoys my anecdotal way of writing, I'm actually writing several short stories at the moment. Perhaps time to (try) woo her with those...

Well you are already not getting kissed...So if you go for it one of 2 things will happen. 1. She kisses you or 2. She doesn't....and in that case you haven't lost anything now have you?

__________________
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss