Well last night my boyfriend returned from a cruise in the Mediterranean sea. Things blew up so bad. I never expected this to be his welcome-home call. I knew something horrible was going to happen to us when he returned, it was just one of those instinctive feelings that I get.

He said things to me for the first time and now I realize our entire relationship was built on lies. On him trying to protect me from his feelings and how he felt. We talked together for like....four hours to straighten things out. He even came over to my house, because I told him I wasn't afraid to break up with him, and he came knowing that doing it face-to-face would be the proper way. He was a wreck, too. He didn't even cry at his grandmother's funeral, but our conversation brought him to tears that made him incoherant many times.

When he came over, he kissed me and I almost fainted the feelings were so intense. I guess it was my body's way of telling me that it's not time to let go yet.

I've given him all the time he needs to think things through. I told him he wasn't to contact me until he had something important to say.

The pain I felt from some of the things he said was the worst pain I have ever felt. At one point, everything snapped and I just went numb and couldn't cry anymore. I was hurt emotionally but in my chest it felt like it was burning a hole before all my pain just shut down. I feel sick to my stomach, and the instant I woke up this morning I faced the harsh reality and I've been gone ever since.

I don't even know what's going on. Breaking up with him would be perfect right now, but something inside me isn't letting me snap and utter the words perched on my lips.

I'm not looking for advice guys...I'm a wreck and need support. Please leave messages here and help me through. I know that I'm the only one that can help myself at this point, but support would be appreciated so much.

What did he do on the cruise that things went worse? And how did you had an idea before? There must be something you thought that made you imagine things might go worse.... and the time he kissed you, you felt like that because you still love him and somewhere in your heart says, IF things were so fine..it would be great!

I don't know what all happened that made you think its better to break up now, but if its bad and things cant go fine, get over it...break up can be better, but still...3 years is a lot.....

I'm with you babe. I kinda knew something was gonna go on by what you were tellin me. I was hoping it wouldn't be so extreme though

Your post didn't really go into details. Like what he said that were lies and all that, but that doesn't really matter since you're not looking for advice only venting.

If you need someone to talk to let me know. If you need someone big and furry to hug, I'll get my yak.

stop prying...she needs to vent. she didnt want advice.

edit: still :iloveyou: Mayank

What do you mean she did not want advice? The thread title said "Help me guys" I am a guy and I tried to help!

And btw, she did not tell me like " I kinda knew something was gonna go on by what you were tellin me. I was hoping it wouldn't be so extreme though "

So I dunno! Sorry for making a useless post.

I think she means
We still love you Mayank

You have a Yaks support.

But I did not give advice, I tried to support in a different way, the post wasn't so clear, and I did not know mostly what happened, and I think she did not say that since she isnt seeking advice I guess. I totally missed the last line!
Mostly because we talked on PM regarding something, so I presumed stuff like an idiot!

i'll support her breasts, you support the rest of her.

Thanks guys your intentions mean a lot to me and the willing support lifts the spirits.

I guess I don't go into detail because I don't want to break down again. It's nothing major, but I guess I'm just magnifying it. I'm also just not ready to admit it to myself either I guess. But thank you soo much. You guys are sweet.

wow. I'm surprised you're considering staying with him. I mean i don't know the whole story. But if the almost 3 years relationship was built on lies, than why would you even want to continue?

because i still love him. simple as that.