Hi. (sorry for the long post
)
I recently (couple of days ago) told my best friend that I like her. I had been debating wether or not to tell her for 2 months. When I decided to do it, she went to Europe for a month, and waiting was a B1TCH. Probably the longest month ever...
Anyways Ive liked her for something like 3 years, but it was always something that was not that important to me. We started to get much closer (as friends) on the summer vacations, since we go to different schools and do not see each other much. I dont know why, but seeing her more made me like her to the point that I think I am OBSESSED
.
When I was deciding to tell her or not, I thought I had a chance with her. Then, I though hard about it and knew that I actually didnt. She is currently seeing another guy. Its wierd, since she doesnt hang out with him very much. Anyways, I decided to tell her what I felt. I knew what she would say, but I thought that If I heard it from her my feelings for her would start to diminish until we continued being friends. Well, I was very wrong...
I dont know if the way I told her was wrong. I told her by msn that I really needed to talk with her, that it was nothing serious but that I needed to do it in person. I had planned what I was going to say; that I really like her as a friend, and that I knew that she was seeing someone, but I just wanted her to know that I like her as something more as well. All I managed to say was along the lines of: "Well, I think you are a really good friend and Ive known you for a long time, but the thing is I also like you" Her reaction was good, though. She told me that she was seeing someone, but right now she did not feel like being in a relationship and that it was really cool what I told her and blah blah. I thought: "oh good, she did not seem uncomfortable".
I was happy, until I noticed that she started to be a bit more cold towards me. Not drastically, but she started treating me like she treated me before we got so close during summer. It seems to me as if she thinks that she "mislead" me. She also hasnt spoken a word of what I told her, so I quickly asked her if she was uncomfortable with it. She just briefly told me that she wasnt, but I dont know if its true (?? women confuse me
) I dont think she knows how important it is to me..
The thing is I just want to talk to her and explain everything. I would love to tell her how STRONGLY (Ive never felt this way about anyone before) my feelings are for her, but she does not seem like she wants to talk about it. I afraid that I tell her now, she will think that Im taking it too seriously (well..I am haha) and if I dont, we will start to drift apart and end up seeing each other less than before... I would kill for being in a relationship with her or continue to be good friends at least.Is it too soon?? Should I just wait for the awkwardness to go away and hope things go back to the way they were?? Should I let it cool down a week and then casually tell her?
I think that it may be good to try to move on and stop seeing potential in her as more than a friend, but its HARD. Im not interested in any other girl, since I just end up comparing them with my friend. AAGH!
(again, sorry about the long post
)
Just Phuck it! 
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