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11-16-2009, 09:54 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Member
Name: Sarah Gender: Female Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 499
Money: 6,198 Last Online: 01-03-2010 03:14 AM My Mood: | What should i do? Input really needed. :[ This will be lengthy, i warn you. If you take the time to read through and be concerned, I will really appreciate it. +rep. :] Basically, i've been having problems with my boyfriend. I'm not happy, and he's in complete denial of it because he doesnt want to lose me.
I'm copying and pasting this from a conversation with a friend whom I was talking to about it on facebook, I apologize if it's a little messy.
okay. so everything started when we first met yes, on facebook.. i got his number and we started talking daily and we got really close, and then we met in person and my house and we kissed the first time we met [not good]. then slowly we really started to like each other, and we were super close and basically dating, we kissed and hung out a lot and he told me how he felt every day etc. for like 2 months it was like that and he literally REFUSED to commit while i really wanted a relationship. he wanted to wait basically to see if i was worthy to date. so then eventually he finally asked me to be his girlfriend and that was like the happiest moment of my year...
and so then we were both happy and for like the first month and a half everything was just perfect and i've been probably the happiest ive ever been.. he's like my best and closest friend and like i love him to death and he made me feel loved and everything.. but then all the shit with him being overprotective started. i wasnt allowed to talk to other guys and other guys were faggots if they talked to me. if a guy texted me, sean would text them and do what he did to you.. this continued for a while and i repeatedly told him how much it pissed me the fuck off.. and he didn't change...
and eventually he gave in and stopped with all that, which im so thankful for because that was stressing me out.. and he explained that he only does it because the thought of losing me hurts and he doesn't want there to be a risk of me falling for another guy.. anyway. so that's stopped. but for the past few weeks ive been realizing a llot of things that just really make me mad.. my mom has lost all respect for him because he didnt have a job, and he was too lazy to get one and thought that he could get by through college without a car mooching off other people for rides basically.. but i told him that he needed to get a job because he needs to stop depending on my mom for all of his shit.. like my mom drives us everywhere, if she didn't him and i wouldnt be dating.
she pays for every meal we've ever eaten together and everywhere we went she paid for him and me and like.. after all that we went to sonic once and my mom couldnt find any change to pay for her drink and he didnt offer to pay for her even though he had money in his wallet.. just other shit like that. no common cotursey.
i start realizing that i put in so much fucking effort to make HIM HAPPY AND MAKE HIM feel loved, like i've gone out of my way to do really sweet things for him, i've put little notes in his locker, i send him sweet texts daily, i bought him a t-shirt out of random and gave it to him, i've spontaneously surprised him with stuff a lot, and every time he doesnt have his card i buy him lunch.. and then on a day when i have no money he doesnt offer to buy mine... so then...
i've been kind of a bitch to him lately because of all of this and i felt bad because i went completely overboard with it, so yesterday i put a note in his locker and i put SOOO much time and effort into making it really nice and sincere, it was really sweet and if i read it from someone i would have been crying lol.. so he read it in front of me and didnt say ANYTHING about it. like nothing. i put a date on the bottom of it and all he could comment on was that the date was friday the 13th. i fucking went into the bathroom and cried.
its just stuff like that. i put so much effort into things for him and he wont even take me out on a real date or anything, it kinda makes me feel like shit, i've been crying myself to sleep every night for the past couple weeks and i NEVER do that, its stupid, and so i got to the point where for about a week, i was telling sean that i wasnt happy anymore, i wasnt happy in the relationship, and he just didnt have much to say, he just kinda ignored it. i called him and talked to him about it and ended up crying in front of him and he didnt comfort me or anything, jsut kept saying oh theres nothing wrong with us, you're happy, theres nothing wrong with us. when OBVIOUSLY, i was not happy.
so then i broke up with him. i said sean, i dont want to be with you anymore.
and he kinda like... didnt ALLOW it..?
for the past couple of days its been a little better because he saw what it was like to lose me.. but i just dunno. i feel like i could be happy with someone else but its just really hard to get out of this.
Another thing thats been really hurtful to me is his ex girlfriend. I know the past is the past, but he dated a girl for well over a year before him and I started dating. From what I know, it sounds like he loved her a lot, even though he claims he loves me more than anyone he's ever loved.
Today, there was a link somewhere to one of his old statuses, and it was about her. [from like last year]
I got curious, and started scrolling through some of his old wall posts etc. and half of them were from his ex, telling him how much she loved him..
There were a lot. And then ones that said "happy 14th month baby!" "happy 1 year baby! i love you boo!" etc etc.
There were a lot like that, just her telling him how much she loved him. And he wrote back on her wall every time. I know I'm probably making a big deal of it, but whenever I write sweet things on his wall, he doesn't respond or say anything about them. Same with cute texts, etc.
It got me thinking into it more .. i just can't give him what she was able to give him for over a year, no matter how hard I try.
It's frustrating, and it hurts. Normally, I wouldn't mind but I've never been with a guy that's had any other serious relationships besides me, and now I have to think about him with other girls in the past, it's just different.
I'm not happy in this relationship, but its so hard to get out of it, firstly because I can say that I have never loved anyone the way I love him, and also because he doesn't see whats being slapped right in his face.
Advice, suggestions? |
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11-16-2009, 10:03 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | She's just a baby.
Name: Eimmy Gender: Unsure Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 2,975
Money: 12,355 Last Online: Today 06:04 PM My Mood: | Re: What should i do? Input really needed. :[ Wow. o_o
You have to wonder if maybe that girl broke his heart? So he doesn't feel comfortable with being so close and affectionate as he did before?
As for his mooching I think you should have just refused to pay for him while telling him how you felt. That's not being selfish. That's laying down the lines and every relationship needs to have them.
__________________ R.I.P Captain Jack Sparrow, 13/3/09 Rep I owe/want to give: Doofenshmirtz(x2), Aannddyy. Quote: |
Originally Posted by thunderblade540 you rule so much. just thought id say | Damn straight. |
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11-16-2009, 10:08 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | New Member
Gender: Female Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 84
Money: -1 Last Online: 01-11-2010 11:31 AM | Re: What should i do? Input really needed. :[ Honestly, my only comment is that it really sounds like you need to get out of that relationship. Things are not the way they were before, and you've realized it. Now probably isn't a great time to be comparing yourself to his ex. I think you just need to let it be over. I dont think he's going to change, and I dont think there's any sense in waiting or trying to fix him. I just dont think its going to happen.
That said, I'm very sorry you're so upset. It really is hard, but I really do think it'd be good to get out and stay out. |
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