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Old 11-27-2009, 12:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Frustrating beyond belief....

I have been interested in this guy for a year or so. I had class with him last year and I was convinced he was interested in me because of his body language. We have only talked a few times, but with steady eye contact.


This year I tried making sure he knew that I was interested in him. I look at him in the halls(not a stalker-stare, just enough to let him know I was paying attention to him), I have attempted to smile at him(not sure if it turned out to be a smile or not), I wished him good luck for two football games and wished him a happy birthday at 12:00am on Facebook, I actually went to one of his games where I am 90% sure he saw me and because he kept looking in my direction(planned on going to one anyways because I hadn't been to one my whole life). You would think he would get the hint?

What I have gotten from him this year:
A rather strange occurrence where I have run into him when he shouldn't have been there(a meeting he wasn't assigned to, but knew I would be in because it was based on our last names, may have been a coincidence). I *think* I caught his friends looking at me from time to time. He looks at me in the hallways; earlier this year he would walk past me after school and would lower his head and look at the ground but then look at me when he thought I wasn't looking, and most recently I was walking to my class and was looking at the people coming towards me(if he goes out to lunch he will walk by with his friends) I saw his friends go by without him so when I was going past the doors I looked out to my right thinking he was just late. I quickly glanced to my left and saw him standing there, by himself just looking at me. As soon as he saw me he whipped around with his back to me and acted like he was looking for someone. The other two days this week he barely glanced at me.

Most people would probably think, "well, duh he likes you." But I'm not sure. If he was interested wouldn't he have done something? He is really popular and I'm like a no one compared to him(I have a lot of friends, I'm just not really in a group at school). So really, wouldn't you think he would be able to take a hint? I get the feeling he is interested, but if he is then why hasn't he done anything? Why would he keep looking at me if he wasn't interested?
I guess I could see how I would be hard to approach because of how we rarely talked and I acted pretty shy when we did have class together, but still. I feel like I have gone out of my comfort zone enough for him to at least get the idea.

I hate this so much. I don't really have an opportunity to talk to him because he is always with his buddies. What do you think is going on in his mind? I have been thinking about sending him a message on Facebook just saying "hi" or something to see if he responds, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself either...I already feel pathetic enough as it is... :/

Thanks and sorry its so long
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Old 11-27-2009, 01:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

Quote:
Originally Posted by horses48 View Post
This year I tried making sure he knew that I was interested in him. I look at him in the halls(not a stalker-stare, just enough to let him know I was paying attention to him), I have attempted to smile at him(not sure if it turned out to be a smile or not), I wished him good luck for two football games and wished him a happy birthday at 12:00am on Facebook, I actually went to one of his games where I am 90% sure he saw me and because he kept looking in my direction(planned on going to one anyways because I hadn't been to one my whole life). You would think he would get the hint?
If you think that you have let him know that you like him, you are way way wrong. Girls are much to subtle when trying to let a guy know they like them and guys are much to stupid to realize that girls are subtle. We just think differently. The best way for anyone, guy or girl, to see if someone likes them is to say "I like you." You should really give it a try as it solve many, many problems for you. Girls often think that a guy is supposed to initiate something like that, but a lot of girls who believe that are only left confused when guy after guy continues to ignore them.

If you really can't do anything like that, then just invite him out. It doesn't have to be "datey" per se, but invite him out for coffee, go to a bookstore, check out a museum together, stuff like that.

But you have to remember, you can't be subtle or coy or shy or anything like that. You really have to be bold and lay it out there because guys, especially younger guys, are just way to dumb to pick up on girls clues.

What's the worse that could happen? Sure, you could get rejected, but you free yourself from the pain of wondering. It allows you to move on and find Mr. Right.

Or maybe he feels exactly the same about you? Win-win. But you'll never know if you never try
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Old 11-27-2009, 11:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

Thanks alot! That really does make sense, it would explain alot actually :/ Do you think talking on fb would be a good idea? or would that be weird?
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Old 11-27-2009, 11:14 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

it's always best to talk directly to someone if you're trying to tell your feelings. facebook would be good for setting up a day you two could hang out together, which then you could tell him you like him. as for why he hasn't made any advances yet, if he's in a more popular group and you're not, he may be afraid of peer pressure for not going out with someone with a higher school status. that shouldn't get in the way of you two though, if he really likes you, he wouldn't care. as a guy, i would know, but rejection is what most guys are afraid of when interested in someone. simply glancing and staring does not tell someone you like them. the fact he seems to always be around you despite how out of the way is a good sign he likes you though. you just need to tell him, or give him a good chance to tell you. good luck!
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Old 11-28-2009, 12:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

Thanks! I think I am going to do something soon. I know he has been hurt in relationships before so maybe he is afraid of that?
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Old 11-28-2009, 05:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

yea sometimes guys need the girls to make the bolder hints before we really do learn
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Old 11-28-2009, 09:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

Okay, I guess I should try harder. Its just that he has been confusing me with what he does and then makes me doubt if I think he is interested or not.
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Old 11-29-2009, 08:02 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

yeah, it helps us guys out if the girl puts an effort too. confidence is a major issue in starting relationships. good luck!
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Old 11-29-2009, 08:41 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

Quote:
Originally Posted by horses48 View Post
I have been interested in this guy for a year or so. I had class with him last year and I was convinced he was interested in me because of his body language. We have only talked a few times, but with steady eye contact.


This year I tried making sure he knew that I was interested in him. I look at him in the halls(not a stalker-stare, just enough to let him know I was paying attention to him), I have attempted to smile at him(not sure if it turned out to be a smile or not), I wished him good luck for two football games and wished him a happy birthday at 12:00am on Facebook, I actually went to one of his games where I am 90% sure he saw me and because he kept looking in my direction(planned on going to one anyways because I hadn't been to one my whole life). You would think he would get the hint?
To be honest, I would have never gotten any of those hints.

Quote:
Originally Posted by horses48 View Post
What I have gotten from him this year:
A rather strange occurrence where I have run into him when he shouldn't have been there(a meeting he wasn't assigned to, but knew I would be in because it was based on our last names, may have been a coincidence). I *think* I caught his friends looking at me from time to time. He looks at me in the hallways; earlier this year he would walk past me after school and would lower his head and look at the ground but then look at me when he thought I wasn't looking, and most recently I was walking to my class and was looking at the people coming towards me(if he goes out to lunch he will walk by with his friends) I saw his friends go by without him so when I was going past the doors I looked out to my right thinking he was just late. I quickly glanced to my left and saw him standing there, by himself just looking at me. As soon as he saw me he whipped around with his back to me and acted like he was looking for someone. The other two days this week he barely glanced at me.

Most people would probably think, "well, duh he likes you." But I'm not sure. If he was interested wouldn't he have done something? He is really popular and I'm like a no one compared to him(I have a lot of friends, I'm just not really in a group at school). So really, wouldn't you think he would be able to take a hint? I get the feeling he is interested, but if he is then why hasn't he done anything? Why would he keep looking at me if he wasn't interested?
I guess I could see how I would be hard to approach because of how we rarely talked and I acted pretty shy when we did have class together, but still. I feel like I have gone out of my comfort zone enough for him to at least get the idea.

I hate this so much. I don't really have an opportunity to talk to him because he is always with his buddies. What do you think is going on in his mind? I have been thinking about sending him a message on Facebook just saying "hi" or something to see if he responds, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself either...I already feel pathetic enough as it is... :/

Thanks and sorry its so long
From what you've said, I do not know why you think he likes you. Why don't you just talk to him and become friends and see what he is really thinking? You are assuming wayy too much and need to step back into reality and see how to approach things.
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:06 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

I know I am assuming alot....believe me if I had an opportunity to become friends with him, I would. There just really isn't much I can do. Yeah, I could walk up to him in the halls, but then what? I mean, we don't know each other that well. How awkward would that be?
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:27 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

do you have any classes with him? or do you take the same subjects just in different periods? that could be the base for talking to him. you could ask if he needs help, or see if he's interested in helping you. it would be a good way to start a conversation at least, if it doesn't work out. then you can just shift the conversation to whatever. talking about school is a good number one conversation starter, i think, since you're both in it.
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:34 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

yeah that would be wonderful!we dont have any classes together though...just my luck. I will have a class pretty close to his next term though....*sighs*
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Old 11-30-2009, 01:34 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Frustrating beyond belief....

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Yeah, I could walk up to him in the halls, but then what? I mean, we don't know each other that well. How awkward would that be?
It's only awkward if you make it so. There's nothing awkward about two people having a nice chat. Talk about anything, the dirt on the floor, the cracks in the ceiling paint, whatever, it doesn't matter.

But then when you have to get going for class or whatever be like "Hey, I'm going to do blah-blah-blah later, want to come?" and then SHUT UP until he says something. Make it something silly like I suggested, coffee, book store or even a movie. He'll do one of three things:
1.) sure, sounds like fun
2.) No I can't but what about (tomorrow, this weekend, etc)
3.) No

Even if he says no, it's not necessarily a bad thing, he might just be caught off guard. The important thing is that you need to keep engaging him, chatting with him, etc.

As much as it's portrayed that guys should do the asking, most guys really love it when a chick initiates something. We second guess everything just as much as you girls do.
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