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Old 10-16-2010, 12:02 PM   #1
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Unhappy pregnant and suicidal

i am 21 weeks pregnant, having a girl, her name is going to be Erikkah-Sol Alessandra. i have been very suicidal the past couple weeks. i have not cut though. i have been having wicked bad anxiety attacks. and almost cut earlier today. i dont have anyone to talk to. i live on my own. my boyfriend and i broke up when he found out i was pregnant, that is when i first started to be suicidal. i did cut at the beginning of my pregnancy. but havent since. my DR knows that i have suicidal thoughts, and he tells me to relax and try and sleep, because that is the best thing for my body right now. i can never get to sleep. and i rarely sleep at night. i am depressed to the point sometimes i do not want to even eat. but i force myself to eat because of Erikkah...

i know that Erikkah feels what i feel. and i do not want her to hurt like i am.

any thing from anyone will be appreciated. thank you...
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Old 10-16-2010, 12:07 PM   #2
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

The best advice I can give you is to go see a different doctor. Your doctor doesn't seem too willing to help you with what's going on, and anytime someone is feeling suicidal and expresses those feelings, they need to be taken seriously.
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Old 10-16-2010, 12:09 PM   #3
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

i have spoken to my therapist, several times. and he said to go for a walk. or read. music. but nothing helps.... i have just stopped going because that is all he ever tells me. i cannot go onto antidepressants because of the baby....
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Old 10-16-2010, 03:11 PM   #4
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

it sounds like your boyfriend was a complete waster. have you any family or friends that you can get support from? they would probably be a good bet. also, theres no need to cut yourself, its not a hopeless situation. try distancing yourself enough from it in your mind so that you can focus your energies on grabbing the situation by the collar and refusing to let yourself drown in a sea of problems. you can do it. ^-^
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Old 10-16-2010, 11:35 PM   #5
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

thank you.
and my family is the reason i am in an apartment. and since i moved to florida, i have no friends yet...
i stayed up all last night, and thought about everything... i am excited to be having a baby. and that it is a blessing. i may go back home for a lil while... idk if they will let me though.
i just need to keep thinking things through...
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Old 10-17-2010, 06:57 AM   #6
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

Hello

It seems to me like your doctor is assuming that you have the typical pre-natal depression, and that it will blow over with just sleep and whatnot, and your therapist is giving the usual answers that they have, through their training and experienced, realised seem to work with minor cases. However, I have been through self-harm and, in my past, suicidal thoughts, and - well, other things similar to you, we'll say. One can only truly understand a situation like this when one has experienced it themselves - I'm not saying I know more than a therapist or a doctor, all I'm saying is that those who are wise learn from the experienced.

Now - there's not really any available medication as far as I know - and if there was I wouldn't accept it in your situation. The fact that you're pregnant limits this a lot. But we know that there's not that medication will do right? And let's face it, the normal "get some sleep", "listen to some music", and "take a walk" aren't exactly helping much either. Now, I do think that you should continue with these things, but I think that more things must be introduced on top of those in order to help you get through this difficult time. I know that what you are going through is difficult hun, and we will get you through this And hey, if you want, you can come back here regularly and give us updates, so that we can give you further advice through the stages, and help you get through this step by step. You can contact me through private messaging or the Support Leader Private Section if this is the case.

Okay, well you seem to be all right with resisting the urge to cut, which is in itself a great achievement, and you should feel very good for this. Now, suicidal thoughts don't just disappear - depression comes from a cause. There is something in your life that you are lacking at the moment and you need to replenish it in order to restore balance to your mind, especially during the stressful time of being pregnant. (By the way, all due respect, but your boyfriend was an ass for leaving). Now - every person has their basic needs first of all. Food, drink, sleep, shelter etc - I'm sure you have all of these already, so that's a start. On top of this, you need to have some form of financial income that sufficiently covers your living costs overall. So you're fine so far.
One clear problem is the fact that you have recently moved to a new area, and you have not yet met anyone. I think that you should in fact get out and socialise as much as you can - socialisation alone may indeed help you to diminish your depression to a certain extent. The human mind requires us to be noted and belong to a particular group as one of our needs, and therefore socialisation is essential.
Next, you need to do things to keep your own self-esteem up. It doesn't matter what it is, just try to make little achievements in your day-to-day life, look back on your past successes, and look into the future and where you plan to be soon with any accomplishments that you wish to make. This will help you, because they give you hope and enthusiasm, which is a key aspect against depression.

Now - sleeping problems. So, you're lying awake at night thinking about what's wrong right? Well, you need to find good ways of getting yourself tired and asleep. Reading before bed always helps. You may wish to purchase some olbas oil too - this is a kind of oil that you use to clear a blocked nose and stuff, but if you rub a few drops on your forehead, a tiny bit below your nose, and some on your chest, then it will give a nice sensation and definitely helps to sleep at night. On top of this, hot chocolate or horlics (sp), or some other form of warm, milky drink can help you feel drowsy as well.

Now - if you ever find yourself in a heightened state of stress, then try what is actually a form of meditation - but...not. You see, when life feels complicated, then you must go back to the most basic aspect of life - breathing. This enables you to focus. So; lie back in a quiet place, perhaps on your sofa or bed. Open a window and let a cool breeze through. Just lie there, completely silent, and breathe. Breathe in through your nose, for three seconds, out through your mouth for three seconds. In for three seconds, out for three seconds. Nose, mouth. Half way through take some of that olbas oil I mentioned (you should be able to purchase it from a pharmacy), rub a little under your nose, and carry on breathing in. Don't think about what's bothering you, don't think about the suicidal thoughts, concentrate with all your might on the three seconds of each breath. Through concentrating so hard on it, you'll put the problems to the back of your mind, and by breathing slowly and steadily like I described, you'll slow down your panic and you will focus and calm yourself. Trust me, it works.

Now, long-term. Like I said, you need to start socialising more, and you need to find some form of support for you and your child; whatever that support is, make sure that it is continuous and positive in every way. You're going to have a tough time ahead, albeit for the blessing of a child, and you will need as much support as you can find. Also, whatever has happened with your family, you should try to fix it, or at least ignore it for a short amount of time, and if possible get them to do the same, so that you can have them on your side as well.

Don't forget, if you ever need more advice to get through all of this step-by-step, then contact me or one of the other support leaders, and show them this piece of advice, so they'll know that you're in need of further and consistent help.

I wish you the best of luck.

Much love dude.

~Anastasia Mikhailovishna Salikhova.


P.S my congratulations on your soon to be little girl I truly wish you the best of luck - you have chosen a beautiful name for her <3 x

Last edited by Northern Prophet; 10-17-2010 at 07:04 AM..
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Old 10-17-2010, 07:03 AM   #7
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

Don't give up on whatever help is out there, even if the right help hasn't come along, don't give up! With the current situation you're in, i'm sure you are aware that handling a child is going to be a massive thing here. The sleeping situation, your depression and the recent things that have occured in your life will most likely affect handling this child without support and help. I'm definitely not saying that you wouldn't be a good mother, however as you'd understand this child would start to pick up on the surroundings and how it's mom is etc. A good doctor will refer you to someone for support through your first months of the pregnancy, it must be difficult the first months of the child being born, and i'm sure the actual pregnancy itself can affect some women's hormones and make them feel like how you are. But yeah, keep up with the support, someone out there is right for you and will be there to help you.
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Old 10-17-2010, 07:49 AM   #8
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

thanks everyone!!!!! VERRRRRRY much.
i have been more calm today. slept for a couple hrs. ignored my Ex calling me 10 times, shut my phone off. :P
i have two new friends!! :P met them at babies r us. one just found out she is pregnant, and the other just had a baby.
the thoughts are still there, but when i hung out with the other girls, they were gone.

i bought a Prenatal Listening System. it also has a small screen where i can see her. sortta like an ultrasound. i can listen to get heartbeat and see her. worth the money, wansnt too expensive the sound of heat beating makes me very relaxed.

if anyone wants to know more, if i dont make updates on here, add me as a friend (think you can do that on here. lollz) or message me

was going to write something else, but forgot what it was.... >_> lollz
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Old 10-17-2010, 08:32 AM   #9
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

AITC

you could try and use art as a release
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Old 10-17-2010, 08:52 AM   #10
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

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Originally Posted by TextilesGirl View Post

you could try and use art as a release
i am not the best artist. lollz. i used to write poetry. like in class when i felt overwhelmed. i wrote for the first time in a long time, when my bf left me... (last sunday)
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Old 10-17-2010, 10:07 AM   #11
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

Firstly, I admit I mostly skimmed through the thread since it's late and I really should be asleep. I just wanted to say I'm glad to see you're feeling better. =)

I'd also like to point out...

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxcollie21xx View Post
but when i hung out with the other girls, they were gone.
I smiled when I saw that. Making new friends seem to have a positive effect on you. Why not hang out with them some more, try to make new friends etc?
All the best to you and your baby.
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Old 10-17-2010, 11:27 AM   #12
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

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I smiled when I saw that. Making new friends seem to have a positive effect on you. Why not hang out with them some more, try to make new friends etc?
All the best to you and your baby.
the three of us and one of the girls son are hanging out today (its now sunday where i am) and going to go for ice cream and walk around the park

and thanks

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Old 10-18-2010, 06:51 AM   #13
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

That sounds really nice. How was it?
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Old 10-18-2010, 07:13 AM   #14
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

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That sounds really nice. How was it?
lollz. we had a lot of fun :P one of the girls son, he loves hide and seek. he is silly.

my ex called me while i was with the girls..... i ended up shutting my phone off...
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Old 10-18-2010, 07:20 AM   #15
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Re: pregnant and suicidal

Ohh..is it bothing you?

Your ex sounds like an idiot to me. >.<
My advice would be to just forget about him...you need to stay strong for yourself and for your baby right now hun. Just focus on keeping yourself healthy, keeping the baby healthy and eating properly, and keeping joy in your life.

Like how you went to the park today, that did sound fun.
So just keep yourself surrounded by friends and people who will support you.
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