I am now sure that I am not a person who can live alone!
I am getting mad. I have started to think that dying is better than living alone and I don't want to die. Ofcource duh.

Everytime I think about going back to my home town, where my parents are, I feel better. Last evening I was feeling terrible, I called my cousins and went to their home but this morning as I came back, I entered this house and I started feeling restless and sick. I started crying and kept crying. I cannot live alone. I might go back but I cannot tell anyone that I am planning to go abck or I will be stopped.

I can only go home and then tell OH I am back because I am stupid and dumb. I cannot live alone. I remember I was the only one who said, I can live alone happily. Its not like I cannot take care of myself. It is because of this place where no one lives. I have no one to talk to in this home. I know that no one will be coming here that I can wait and then talk to that person.

At home even if parents go out of station, say 1 day, I am alone? I am happy because I know that after 1 day people will come back and stay with me. But here, its no one, in near months also.

The important thing I noticed is that, as soon as I think of going back, to live with parents, my tears vanish and I have a smile. I become happy.

I find the place like a jail. Even though if anyone of you will see this place, you will think its awesome place.

I have a good PC, good internet, good, neat and clean room, 3rd floor which is warm and suitable for an Asthamatic(sp) patient like me!
What makes me cry even more is that I fighted and all said Will live alone and now I want to run away. Its hell! I am going to college today. Lets see what happens. Or I am going straight to airport and get tickets on monday. I cannot tolerate such a life.

Does anyone think that living a life like crying all day with mental stress and lonelyness can be lived?

I know that from being online, no one can help me! But can give some sympathy though.

go get some friends man. you need some people to hang out with

Hanging out is something else. I went to hang out at my cousins place. Felt better, As soon as I entered this place, I bursted into cries because now no one will be near me. So, I get tons of friends, I hang out outside but I will have to return to a place ultimately where no one is with me! My problem is not that I am getting bored which I thought at first. My problem is that No one is around me, parents are not near me. That makes me feel crap.

Get a missus?

I'll marry you and be your company.

*Fan-girls become enraged*

Well you're in a new place so it is natural that you'll feel lonely. Don't go back home and don't do anything suicidal. If possible, and if it isn't a problem try getting a roomie or a friend who can keep you company through these lonely times. I know of this guy in Cambridge who was a brilliant student but went into depression and excessive drinking to beat his loneliness. Not a good thing, I suggest you avoid that too.

Maybe you should get a rommate.

Not a person like to do suicide...

your in college, college life i ment to be filled with mates booze and yeah.make some really good mates in college who you can hang around with till you want to get away and have your own space!
can you have a pet ?i have a hamster called britney she sleeps most of the day and dosnt get up till late which suits me just fine because thats when im in my room alone.

Did you go to college?

I'm sure you'll find a lot of friends there.