Ok so I really can't do this for much longer I really want to kill myself but I don't have a good plan yet. And I can't risk it failing because I really hate hospitals like I am actually scared of them. And I couldn't bare to be in one so i have to have a plan that is going to work. I mean I am scared of people in general especially adults and I have bad trust issues as well. I normally cut when I feel like this and I probably will later but I have been cutting a lot in the last couple of days I think one day I did over 340 cuts and the next I did more than that but I didn't count. I just keep doing more and more and they aren't helping as much as they used to. I just really want to die. I have been to 4 different doctors about this and I tried talking to hotlines but all of that has just made it worse. I can't talk to my parents because I am scared of them and I can't talk to the teachers at school because I am scared of them to. I would talk to some of my friends as they are about the only people I am not scared of but I don't know if they even like me or if they are just to nice to tell me to piss off. I just want to die so badly I don't even deserve to live. I can't do this anymore I guess I have a plan that might work if I have to use it but if anyone has any other ideas that would be helpful. Not that I deserve them but.......
Why are you so scared of talking with them? I understand it but i am sure they would want to help you through this, dont do anything stupid like that you know you will hurt them too. I'm sure they care about you a lot and want to help you with this.
Talking can be really some relieve when you feel depressed or sad. Talk with people you trust, it really will get better.
Suicide isn't a solution for this.
It's the missing that will kill you,
knowing you've missed your shot.