Hello again. How to start? Well, i have phimosis. It's a medical condition that means you have a tight foreskin, making retracting it hard, painful or even dangerous if you are not careful. So, i have instructions on how to treat it, and sometimes it goes well, but sometimes i can't retract it at all. Is that normal? Also, i don't worry about it TOO much, but when my girlfriend start's worrying about it, i start too. I also have never been able to get my penis in full erection, but i think it's connected to the phimosis. Sometimes my girlfriend thinks i might never be able to get it up. And that makes me really sad. It feels like i am just an impotent fool, who can't be trusted. Is she having trust issues? She does say she thinks i can get it up, but sometimes she just starts thinking like that. And it really does not raise my motive, mood, or belief to fix it at all.
I would not be surprised if she has trust issues, but i brought them upon me, and maybe i should suffer of them. I have been horrible to her before. Not anymore though, don't worry.
By the way, we are long distance, so i can't hug and say "it will be alright". At the moment i don't even feel like it. Why would she want to hug a failure like me?
Last night, just as we were getting ready to sleep, she said again she is worried about me never getting it up, and it just instantly made me sad, but i hid it. I just talked our usual goodnight talks and went to sleep shortly after. But at bed my mind was revolving on thoughts like these: "Why would anyone want to even hug a failure?", "Maybe i should not have kids.", "Maybe phimosis would make my son's life hell too."
I don't even have a son, nor a daughter, but i wish to have someday, and i care about them already. I would really hate to pass my phimosis on to my possible son. So, what are you people's thoughts on anything i wrote? It's all just really worrying. If someone read through this, thank you, and if someone answers too, double thank you!