School is over but I'm dreading going back in September. A lot of people hate me at my school, for reason that aren't really clear to me. I deal with a lot of hate online, and from a lot of people at school. I can't go out into public because I have to deal with people yelling rude things out their car windows at me, or saying things to me when I'm out. At home my own Mom goes out of her way to make me feel terrible. My Dad lives far away and she always tries to send me off to live with him. Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad but the fear of people hating me as much as they do here is unsettling. She tells me all the time how she is giving up on me because I'm such "a bad kid" when in reality I'm not at all. Recently I got to meet one of my favorite bands and see them preform and she wasn't the least bit happy for me. I bought a shirt from their concert and it says the word "fucking" on it and she continued to tell me how much of a shitty person I was going to turn out to be. I only have one true friend, and she sees what I go through, but she doesn't know how I deal with it when I'm alone. I started cutting about 4 months ago and no one notices because I have them covered up. My step dad recently noticed the cuts even with my attempt to cover them up, and he told me that I was "an emo freak" I can't beat this considering everywhere I go I deal with this. Theres no escape for me, because nothing good ever happens to me. Basically I want to know that I'm not alone in this. I don't know how to feel. Ultimately I feel pathetic, like no one genuinely cares about me. I've thought about suicide, but I don't know how to go through with it. The worst part is that this is not at all my character. On a habitual basis I would be out with friends, I was on the volleyball team and I was always a pleasure to be around but now I isolate myself in my room and I hangout with one person. It's not going to get better. Ever.

Why don't you start new and move with your dad? It seems like your having a terrible time living with your mom. If you have nothing against your dad, then go for it. New school=new life and a fresh start.
I doubt people are going to yelling mean things to you once you show up for your first day. I thought it was goingbto be like that for me, but unwashed definitely wrong. Think about it. That's probably the best thing right now.

I definitely agree with Viaa. Sounds like you're in a shitty place that might not change. A new start with new people sounds like the best option. As long as you know you are a good person and you can love yourself without letting others put you down, then you'll definitely attract people.

And if others try to put you down at this new place, just act like you don't care (even if you do) cause obviously they have a low self-image of themselves if they have the audacity to try to make another person feel like shit. And when they see that you're doing fine, it'll make them feel worthless.

Whatever u do stay strong. Trust me I know how u feel I hate going to my school because everybody there hates on other people and I get made fun of at school for stupid reasons. But I'm use to it. I'm here if u need someone to talk to.

Move in with your dad

I used to be at that point when I was younger & I thought I would never get better & almost killed myself luckly my brother walked in... but anyways
get a new change of scenery fresh starts are always the best & it sounds like you can get that from living with him....
but don't give up or anything it might be hard now, and it might be hard for awhile but life is like a roller coaster it has it's ups and downs. & the more you push through this time the stronger you will be

What you believe happens to you

The main reason behind your isolation is you! Dont feel pathetic and try get mingled with friends make more friends and indulge yourself in some social activities definitely you will feel great!! Limiting yourself to a single room will do nothing but perk up your negativity.... Dont think that nobody cares for you.. be your own motivator and then change the way!!!

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