My life sucks.

Sallys Day · 02-06-2013, 04:17 AM

hii guys, my name is sally and I just want some advice..

It all started around a 3 months ago.... i was 13 at the Time and i started to realize that I liked girls, and i felt kinda weird about it. anyways I reallly started to fall in love with my best friend Jennifer and one day i told her about my true feeling's... She got completly disgusted and she and her friends avoid me now. I tried to sit with them at lunch one day they told me I was an ugly black slut and laughed at me. I have no friends now and i'm all alone

I cried constantly that night and I felt completly humiliated. Even now I feel depressed and scared ill be made fun of again when I go to school. i still love Jennifer but I knowing that I can never be with her nags me everyday, and i hate myself for it. Things have gotten so bad Iv'e considerd cutting my wrist.

please is there anyone who can help??

Monkeyboy309 · 02-06-2013, 05:10 AM

I'm really sorry that you've had to endure such a terrible experience! Please don't be self loathing or depressed: I can tell you're a strong and interesting person just be reading your paragraph! I know how tiring it can be to get the "You're unique and it's awesome" spiel, but I'm going to give it to you: You are a charming, interesting, great person and if anyone tells you differently, at school or otherwise, they're wrong. It sounds like your friends aren't very supportive, so maybe you could try making friends with other people. But if you really like them as human beings for their personalities, then talk to them. Society has made it so that being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is undesirable or strange. It doesn't matter though: go against the grain. Tell them that it's not wrong, or that that's just you. They're human beings, they have emotions. If I've learned anything, it's that the right words can fix anything. Think about how you feel and make a good decision. I hope everything goes well! There's nothing to be humiliated or ashamed about. It's just who you are, and those that don't accept it generally are foolish, naive, immature, stupid, or just have ugly hearts, minds, and personality. I'm sorry that this has all happened to you.

And please, please don't cut yourself! We care about you and your well being! Cutting habits that develop are proven to lead to more depression, morbidity, and potential suicide. You're a great person and there will always be people who will accept you for who you are. Maybe you need to go out and look for them: they'll offer you much needed support, fun, laughter, and socialization. I've gone through tough times like this and I know how you feel. Do whatever it takes to be happy: isn't that what life is really about? You should never feel worthless or helpless. You are stronger, better, and more mature than them. The human race can be so disgusting, and wading through it and finding high ground is half the challenge. If nothing else, I can offer you the knowledge that one day, you'll probably look back and almost be thankful for this situation. You'll think about how it's made you a better, stronger, more empathetic, understanding person. I know I have every day, even under the humiliating and terrible things that I went through. I'm grown up, I know who I am, I've formed my opinions, and I've understood things better. I'm really sorry that you've been thrown to this, especially at such a young age. While you may have to grow up fast and lose some of your childhood early, it may turn out to be worth it. Sorry if this is off of how you feel or you don't get it, it's just what happened to me.

It seems a lot of my posts end up rambling about my past. Sorry.

I hope you feel a lot better soon. You do NOT deserve this and you are BETTER than them. To make fun of you for something like that. It's terrible.

Eminemaniac · 02-06-2013, 05:33 AM

Monkeyboy hit the nail on the head pretty much. The most important thing is: Don't cut yourself! It will not solve anything, and you will feel even worse about yourself by doing it. You've probably heard this from a lot of people, but please take that on board because I know how you feel more than you may think. If you want to PM me any time I'd be happy to help, or at least to listen.

Sallys Day · 02-06-2013, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monkeyboy309

I'm really sorry that you've had to endure such a terrible experience! Please don't be self loathing or depressed: I can tell you're a strong and interesting person just be reading your paragraph! I know how tiring it can be to get the "You're unique and it's awesome" spiel, but I'm going to give it to you: You are a charming, interesting, great person and if anyone tells you differently, at school or otherwise, they're wrong. It sounds like your friends aren't very supportive, so maybe you could try making friends with other people. But if you really like them as human beings for their personalities, then talk to them. Society has made it so that being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is undesirable or strange. It doesn't matter though: go against the grain. Tell them that it's not wrong, or that that's just you. They're human beings, they have emotions. If I've learned anything, it's that the right words can fix anything. Think about how you feel and make a good decision. I hope everything goes well! There's nothing to be humiliated or ashamed about. It's just who you are, and those that don't accept it generally are foolish, naive, immature, stupid, or just have ugly hearts, minds, and personality. I'm sorry that this has all happened to you.

And please, please don't cut yourself! We care about you and your well being! Cutting habits that develop are proven to lead to more depression, morbidity, and potential suicide. You're a great person and there will always be people who will accept you for who you are. Maybe you need to go out and look for them: they'll offer you much needed support, fun, laughter, and socialization. I've gone through tough times like this and I know how you feel. Do whatever it takes to be happy: isn't that what life is really about? You should never feel worthless or helpless. You are stronger, better, and more mature than them. The human race can be so disgusting, and wading through it and finding high ground is half the challenge. If nothing else, I can offer you the knowledge that one day, you'll probably look back and almost be thankful for this situation. You'll think about how it's made you a better, stronger, more empathetic, understanding person. I know I have every day, even under the humiliating and terrible things that I went through. I'm grown up, I know who I am, I've formed my opinions, and I've understood things better. I'm really sorry that you've been thrown to this, especially at such a young age. While you may have to grow up fast and lose some of your childhood early, it may turn out to be worth it. Sorry if this is off of how you feel or you don't get it, it's just what happened to me.

It seems a lot of my posts end up rambling about my past. Sorry.

I hope you feel a lot better soon. You do NOT deserve this and you are BETTER than them. To make fun of you for something like that. It's terrible.

Yeah but i can't get over the fact that Jennifer doesnt like me. No one likes me and no one ever will cuz im a "ugly black lesbian slut"

why is the world soo unforgiving ??

---------- Post added at 10:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:06 PM ----------

Monkeyboy309 · 02-06-2013, 06:00 AM

I think you're feelings about Jennifer are more relationship problem than anything. I have a friend who has had a complete, head over heels obsession for a guy for over 2 years. I think she still does! She completely adores him, but he can be so, so mean to her and doesn't really acknowledge her. I know it's not the same thing, but you get the point. I think that's just part of being in love: not being able to let her go, even when it's causing you pain.

And don't say that no one will ever like you. That's exactly how people in society want you to feel: like you've go nowhere to turn, no one who cares, and no one who ever will. They're absolutely wrong. I'm sure that there are plenty of people who haven't even heard people call you an "ugly black slut", or think it's true at all. If there isn't at least one person at your school who has enough spine to form their own opinions and not go with the opinion of the crowd, then mankind is truly lost. Anyway, that's just a label. You are whoever you choose to be, and you can't let people define it for you. The more you say it, the more you start to believe it. Don't torture yourself like that.

Look, there's always going to be people that care. So unless the only people you ever see in the entire world are Jennifer and her friends, then there's still a ton of hope. Even if they were the only ones, there is a ton of hope! There are plenty of people who are going to accept you and understand what you're going through: maybe just go somewhere you're not used to socially and test the waters. Personally, I think it's better for you to move on. I fell in love with someone once, but I knew they weren't going to be a good influence or any fun for me. It was so, so hard at first, but I stopped going near them, stopped staring at them, didn't even acknowledge them. At first it was difficult but it quickly became easy. Sometimes, when I'm scanning a room I see them and our eyes kind of meet and for a second I think I might feel something, but it's easy to remind myself of all the reasons I shouldn't go near them.

I really do wish you luck. Whatever you do, don't, don't give up.

Sallys Day · 02-06-2013, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monkeyboy309

I think you're feelings about Jennifer are more relationship problem than anything. I have a friend who has had a complete, head over heels obsession for a guy for over 2 years. I think she still does! She completely adores him, but he can be so, so mean to her and doesn't really acknowledge her. I know it's not the same thing, but you get the point. I think that's just part of being in love: not being able to let her go, even when it's causing you pain.

And don't say that no one will ever like you. That's exactly how people in society want you to feel: like you've go nowhere to turn, no one who cares, and no one who ever will. They're absolutely wrong. I'm sure that there are plenty of people who haven't even heard people call you an "ugly black slut", or think it's true at all. If there isn't at least one person at your school who has enough spine to form their own opinions and not go with the opinion of the crowd, then mankind is truly lost. Anyway, that's just a label. You are whoever you choose to be, and you can't let people define it for you. The more you say it, the more you start to believe it. Don't torture yourself like that.

Look, there's always going to be people that care. So unless the only people you ever see in the entire world are Jennifer and her friends, then there's still a ton of hope. Even if they were the only ones, there is a ton of hope! There are plenty of people who are going to accept you and understand what you're going through: maybe just go somewhere you're not used to socially and test the waters. Personally, I think it's better for you to move on. I fell in love with someone once, but I knew they weren't going to be a good influence or any fun for me. It was so, so hard at first, but I stopped going near them, stopped staring at them, didn't even acknowledge them. At first it was difficult but it quickly became easy. Sometimes, when I'm scanning a room I see them and our eyes kind of meet and for a second I think I might feel something, but it's easy to remind myself of all the reasons I shouldn't go near them.

I really do wish you luck. Whatever you do, don't, don't give up.

no, i cant move on

your not helping, and why are u under my bed ??

Monkeyboy309 · 02-06-2013, 06:53 AM

Sorry for not being helpful. I tend to do that sometimes.

I know moving on is hard. Maybe you have to, maybe you don't. But you need to do something or it's going to get worse. You can't just let yourself be hurt and get down on yourself. It's just the truth.

It's up to you, in the end. Just make sure you'll be happy.

Sallys Day · 02-06-2013, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monkeyboy309

Sorry for not being helpful. I tend to do that sometimes.

I know moving on is hard. Maybe you have to, maybe you don't. But you need to do something or it's going to get worse. You can't just let yourself be hurt and get down on yourself. It's just the truth.

It's up to you, in the end. Just make sure you'll be happy.

why are you trying to help me if your not good at it dumb dumb?

-sally

TheDoctor'sSexy · 02-06-2013, 07:04 AM

I can understand not moving on. I had this situation where a guy was a bit flirty (turns out he's a ladies man, lol) and I took it as serious when he didn't, and had this case of unrequited love...let's just say, I hoped against all sense of reason, and had to have it spelled out for me that no, he did not like me like that. No, he did not think he would ever like me that way. And you know what? If other things and people hadn't distracted me...well I still have some of that deep down in me. XD

I guess the thing is not to 'get over' her, but rather to try not to make her your whole focus. If you can meet other people and do other things in life, hopefully in time you won't feel like your world revolves around her. I know how it hurts, but it will get easier, I think.

Maybe you could try like Monkey said to talk about it; see if you can explain it to them. And hopefully, if they are true friends, they'll give you a chance to explain.

There are always going to be people who hate on gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. It's just part of life. I'm bisexual and there are some people who respect my views, and others who don't. Just like anything else.

Feel free to PM me if you'd like.