Okay. So i pretty much hate my life. I can NEVER do anything right. I hate the way i look. Im fat and ugly. Im not good at anything. I hurt inside so bad but i dont show it. I put a smile on my face and laugh at what other people think is funny so no one knows somethings wrong. I have cut. not much. i have thought about killing myself a few times. 2 or 3. i never have to guts to do it. im so full of bad luck its crazy. No one understands.

Recently my hair has been falling out. Im having bad pains in my chest. I wake up like 2 times during the night. Ive been having bad nightmares too. im losing friends fast because i get so made so easily. I never feel like doing anything anymore. i have cheered of four years and i have now giving up. Im gaining weight fast. Somethings wrong and i dont know what.

Any ideas?

aww darling
you need need a -hug-
you shouldn't want to end your life. its only the beggining of it, yes times get rough, you get stressed, depressed. but please don't resort to ending your life. try to relax, your youth years of your life should be enjoyed. -hugs- again. you poor darling.

Darling? haha that was funny. I relized that its just the beginging of om life. Thats another reason im still her. I still want to go to college and get married and all that good stuff. Even thought i probly wont get married. I suck at all that boyfriend girlfriend stuff. thanks for the hug though.

i am sweetie lol. yer think of all the fun to be had for the rest of your life. trust me i suck at the whole girlfriend boyfriend thing too .

Haha yeah like i said i dont have the guts to do it. So i guess ill just have to wait till its my time to go. If Jesus even wants me.

well i wouldn't be waiting for my time to go. go live your life do something you've always wanted to do..

Good idea... thanks

Maybe you should see a doctor, cause to me it sounds like symptoms of clinical depression, which could be treated.

ey olivia...its normal to feel that way many ppl get it in sum stage of their lyf...but maybe your just feeling empty on the insyd is there anyone or thing that makes you happy?

and i got a feelin the fwends you call fwends arent really your fwends...do you try to maybe express your feelings or is that hard for you coz you secretive?

Sounds like you need help.
Not much advice I can give you.

Some people hate their body. Look at me, I starve myself, don't eat and don't really care what people say about it. Because it's my personal choice. I prefer for you not to do that because it makes you really sick and you don't need that on your chest as it is.

You're going to go through ups and downs. Some days you're going to feel completely fine and then all of a sudden you feel bad. That's normal. Suicide won't get you nowhere but six feet into the ground. I've attempted suicide and felt suicidal for months upon years.

It's a horrible feeling, let me tell you. I had heaps of friends during the middle school stages. I had their back and I thought they had mine. They experienced their own problems and I was there for them. Then I started cutting and they didn't know nor understand. They pushed me away and I got extremely depressed as a result of that and other problems.

I dropped them and dropped school. I gave up, which is what they wanted. High school came around the corner and I was ready to prove those people wrong. I am going to school and have made better friends, people that have the same problems as me in weight and cutting issues.

Some say it's bad to surround yourself around people with the same problems you have but I don't think so. Surrounded yourself around people that understand you. It will make things easier.

I hope you feel better, sweetie.
PM me if you need anything.

I dont really tell anyone how i feel. so no one really knows.... okay well this one boy does. i told him everything we were just friends though. then we kinda stop talking afterward. so im kinda scared to tell anyone how i feel because im scared they will leave. i have recently tried to starve myself. it didnt really work cuz all i think about is food. im not really fat. im pretty normal... just part of me thinks i am. i have thought about depression. i have even looked it up on the computer after i posted this. i kinda fit in. i really do wanna feel better about myself. i just dont wanna go to the doctor because im scared that my mom or dad will think that its there fault im like this. there not. My bestfriend Mikah had to take depression pills last year so i know i can tell her anything. i just dont. i cant seem to get it out.

Well for most people it always helps to have someone to talk to about it. There are hundreds of thousands people experiencing things just like you. Based on what you have said though i would suggest you see a doctor some of those may be serious or may not who knows unless you get it checked out. And as far as the boyfriend girlfriend thing goes, i wouldn't worry about it having a boyfriend/girlfriend is overrated anyway unless you really really like someone.

If you need someone to talk to you can always pm me and i'll be more then happy to just talk about anything. Best of luck

The best thing to do is to get everything off your chest. Because if you don't, then your depression is going to get worse.

Eh, sounds like you have a slight possibility of an eating disorder. Because you just said you tried to starve yourself. And that's a big deal. Because I started out like that. And let me tell you, it got worse. I can't even function. And that's a bad thing. Plus, you don't want to get that way either.

You're admitting you want to feel better. So, you need to get help. Your parents are going to probably going to spaz at first. But they will understand because they love you.

Pills help a lot. But remember they are not miracle workers. If you cut, then you will probably still cut. That's how it works. It just helps you cope better.

Okay so basically i should go to a doctor right? well how do i do that? do i tell my parents that i think im depressed and need to go get checked out?

Yeah, go to a doctor. Tell your parents that you have been feeling really bad, emotionally. And that you think you might be depressed. You can tell them about cutting and such, it's up to you, hun.