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Generally, I'm a pretty happy person. I have some demons that I've dealt with in the past, but despite what may have happened, I'm doing good.
But honestly, there is one thing that pretty much always follows me. I've never really talked about it, or addressed it, I tried to put it to the back of my mind, for a year now.
Last year, on September 7th, 2006, my best friend Isiah commited suicide. The night before he did it, I was with him, in his room. We were talking and he told me how he felt dead inside and how life was getting too hard for him to deal with. I didn't do anything, I didn't tell anyone. One of the main reasons he ended up commiting suicide is because he got involved with drugs, and he had alot of unpaid drug debts, and dealers were looking for him, probably to be violent or fuck him up. (I know this sounds so ghetto...) And after he died, not alot of people had respect for him, theyd call him "stupid druggie" or say that he "got what he deserved." and it breaks my heart, because I knew him, and he was a good person. And ever since he died, I've gotten into drugs and stuff, and I feel like Im betraying him, and I'm making light of his death. It's really hard for me to handle sometimes. I just wanted to get my story out.,..
__________________
"Time's not poison, but once you drink it all you'll die. So lets just sip it real slow, yea we can nurse it all night, try to believe that once it's gone we'll pour another round and come back to life."
that must feel terrible thinking you could have stopped him when you had the chnace.. but really if his mind was made up nothing you could have down would stop him
it sounds like you're not proud of turning to drugs, do you want to kick the habit? i'm sure your friend would definately not want you to end up in the same situation he was and would therfore reccomend you to stop now before you get out of your depth, what kind of drugs are you taking?
__________________ Nicole = Happiest she's been in a long time
well i mean, i do pot, which im not that interested in quitting, but i have a taste for harder drugs too, which scares me.
__________________
"Time's not poison, but once you drink it all you'll die. So lets just sip it real slow, yea we can nurse it all night, try to believe that once it's gone we'll pour another round and come back to life."
If anything, let his life be a lesson. Please don't get any further involved in drugs. He would not have wanted you to have to deal with those same things, those same feelings of not knowing how to deal with life.
__________________ The Voice of Reason
"In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, love." - Augustine.
Just Phuck it! 
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