Hey, I'm Jamie.
first of all I'm gay and I think i'm scared of the real world and i worry to much about what people think of me. Usually I come home, sit on the computer and chat to people i know online, recently ive fallen out with my online friends and they're telling me they dont like who i've turned into. I'm 16 and currently at college. I walk in and feel like im the outcast. I compare myself to everyone and i cant help it, if someone has nice clothes i get jelous and want to copy their image. I buy clothes that I like but then when I have them i see someone wear something else and then dont like what ive got. I'm sort of 'emo' as they say but I wear different looks on different days.

I told my mum I was gay and she didnt really believe me and denies it. This has made me less confident to tell anyone. She also then told my dad and they took my phone, internet and other things away from me because i was having an online relationship that i told my mum in confidence about. Her boyfriend used to make jokes and his brother also cornerd me once and said 'i know your gay' and said 'dont lie' and made me feel really uncomphfortable. I feel if i tell someone my parents will find out and think that im stupid or my cousins who are too young to understand what being gay is. I dont go to partys because im worried of me getting drunk, possibly telling someone my sexuality or something like that. I'm very much to myself and lead a double life in my own head.

I want to know the best way to settle ANY of my problems if anyone can? has anyone had the same sort of experience and solved it?
thankyou for reading
jamie x

i think if you stop being and be straight, that will solve most of the problems with your friends and family

k just be open with everyone it will work out better...... online friends arnt really true friends sometimes........ the cloths thing be who u want to be dont be another person b/c u are u and they are them.........

Your family and friends just have to accept you for who you are. Your mom would be dissapointed though..

What'da spirit breaker...

Nice one.

Jerk.

first of all you have to accept and embrace who you are because you cant expect others to do it if you havent done it yourself.
you're the way you are and you cant change it so you really must deal with it. there is nothing wrong in being gay so you shouldnt be ashamed of it. let people know it! you'd feel so much better because leading that double life of yours is quite pointless and only thing it does is making you uncomfortable in your own skin which is NOT GOOD. just be you and be proud of it! walk with your chin up, be confident and dont let other people shake your confidence.
talk to your parents, tell them that being gay is part of who you are and that you want them just to understand it and accept cause its not going to change.
as for that jelaousy thing. o well, i guess its normal sometimes to envy others on their stuff but you should also know that clothes dont make a man. when you feel confident about yourself and the way you dress it wont matter. confidence is a HUGE way up. learn to be confident and you'll be fine.
good luck

hey!..i've just read your post..hmm..seems that you have some problems..but certainly problems that can be dealt!!!..(sorry for my english..)anyway..i am writing to give you some advice..
Firstly..you must always know that we have to accept other people the exact way they are..!..you don't have to be jealous of other peers beacause as sou claim they are much more well-dressed than you are!Don't you ever compare the others with you..!that's just not done and i'm sure that you know that you deserve much more than they do!!you know that none is better than you..come on..let's face it..if you don't respect yourself and actually if you don't love yourself,neither they will do it to you!..don't feel insecure about the way you dress!besides they say that beauty comes from your inside..if you have enough confidence and be happy and apparently little bit more optimistic you'll se that things will change..and surely get much better!try to change the way you think and you'll see how great things will be!
As far is concerned with the whole internet friendship///well this is what i believe..on the net you can't make friends that will lasts forever..try to avoid this and don't believe what others states ..obviously most of the things you'll hear might not hold true..it's nice to talk and communicate with people from all over the word..no doubt..but please just be carefull.Just try not to be open to others at first.
Lastly..i know that it's not a piece of cake to tell your parents the truth..
well..i would suggest you try to be cool..have confidence..and sit down and have a conversation with yourself..just to realise a few things and decide what you are going to do with this.
Fortunately i've never been to your place i don't know how it feels..but i totally understand you.it is hard to live like this..but as i said before be cool and stop hiding anymore.

wish you ALL the best

My best friend is actually going through the same thing. His mom shows him pictures of girls in bikinis in magazines and asks him if he is turned on even though she knows he is gay. And he is terrified of telling his dad. He thinks he is going to be disowned if he tells him. Seriously. He does go to therapy, and maybe that's something you should consider. Other than that..I mean I know this sounds lame...but you could send your mom and dad an e-mail explaining that your gay, but you are still the exact same person as you were before, and frankly who you prefer to have sex with shouldn't be of their concern.
Also I have a question. Maybe I should post a new thread about this, but did you go to college early because you were depressed? And I can see that hasn't really helped if thats the case... I'm considering going to Simon's Rock, and I don't know if it will help me at all.

Don't be ashamed that you are gay. You are who you are, and there is nothing wrong with that. Eventually you'll have to tell everyone the truth, and the easiest way to do that is to be confident in yourself. You come off as insecure. When you only focus on your flaws and envy others, you will not get much respect. When you see someone looking nice in an outfit and you feel sick in your stomach, then you are being self-centered. Why must you grieve at other's accomplishments? You need to love others so that you can rejoice in their accomplishments. In order to love others, you must find a way to love yourself first.

"Be who you are and say how you feel, because the people that mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind."

Seriously, you can't please EVERYONE. And your not. No one is- that's life. You need to accept this. Once you accept that, it is easier to move on. Be yourself, and im sure that people will love you for who you truly are.

i hope i helped. if you need more help, find a close friend to confide in

First of fuck exuse me "phuke" eh I mean ah who the fuck cares same shit you have no fucking right to tell him to change theres nothing wrong with being gay ok? Second of all Jamie one thing is you never EVER listen to fucker over there.

Dude if people can't accept you for who you are then fuck them you DON'T need someone who wants you to change if they are a friend and they want you to change that means they are not real friends so dude just stop caring about whats around you live YOUR life to the fullest so they can't say shit to you bro after all its YOUR LIFE NOT THEIRS so dude just fuckem all man. And if you need anything just PM me ok?

thankyou all! ive read all the advise and im gonna take it all in. +rep to all x

ur family arent very understanding, if u dnt hav any close friends to tell then tell someone u trust, and u took a good step posting it here

I am not straigght either, i do vertually the same, come home speak to people online etc.
I am too afraid of what people will think.
At the end of the day you're not alone, many people are scared of telling their family, friends etc, its probably come in as shock to them, but people that love you will accept you for who you are.

Okay first of all. Your gay. So what. You are allowed to be whoever you want to be. If you lie to yourself about who you are then you will never truely know who you are.
You are gay - you should be proud that you know who you are.

Never try to copy other people. I know I do the same - I see other people looking awesome in clothes and I think that I could look that good also, doesn't help though cause when I get the clothes and wear them I feel ridiculous.
Maybe you should wear the clothes you feel comfortable in, don't try to copy other people's style. Be who you want to be, wear the clothes you like.

Your mum's boyfriend and brother had no right to do those things to you. You should not feel bad at all about being gay. Your mum is wrong to deny your feelings about your sexuality also. She should not have told your dad about the online relationship you were having either, you had told her in confidence and she ruined that.

I don't think you should lead a double life any longer. You should be true to who you are and tell some close friends, if they are male don't be afraid to tell them but be sure to tell them that you don't feel that way about them.

Hope this helps you a lot. Please contact me if you need anymore help won't you.

=]

my best friend went through the same well nerli she was dating a guy but fancied the ass of her friend!!! she hadnt a clu wat to do afraid to tell ppl she stopped coming out with us and she stoppd seeing the guy she isolated herself tinking it wud all go away but then finally she let me and 2 othrs in and we ddnt judge her i