What to do?

Chevy boy · 01-02-2008, 01:40 AM

Okay. i don't ask for help from complete strangers. But i really need someone's help right now. I am having serious suisidel thoughts. Last night i used a razor blade and cut deep into my arm. As i watched the blood come out it made me feel like i have nothing left to do here on earth. I didn't hit a main vain or anything. i got the bleeding stopped. But it felt good. No one really cares about the real me or what i feel. So if i die then no one will really miss me. thats how much i feel right now. Like my world is ending. I am so sorry i am not trying to make this seem like its okay for others to do. I am just saying this about myself. I wish someone who cared about me would come into my life and show me that there not all the same backstabers there made out to be. I got on true friends i have no one but me myself and I. Its been a while since i came on here but i had major issues. My lost girlfriend from a long time ago is still making me feel bad. my mother sent me to this counceler but it didn't help. she said i should walk away and find someone new to be with. OMG!!!! its really easy for them to say that. If they only knew how hard it is to just up and walk away from your first true love. Things went wrong but it was not us., it was my mom who stopped it from happening. So anyways i am real sorry. But i feel i have no way out. My entire life i have never had a true friend who made me sit down and talk it all out with them. I thought i did but know i don't. Plus i don't want to put a biren on them. i keep everything within and try to figure it all out bye myself. Everything has gone wrong in my life and now i am none exsistant. I don't matter to the outside world and the only people who call me there friend are those who want to know me just because i am in a movie.. they don't care about me. Sometimes i think god is to busy for the likes of me. I am nothing but trailer trash. Yes i live in a trailer and don't have a whole lot.. I used to have love but now only have hate.. which i wish i didn;t have. I am empty inside and feel i have no life. I wonder what it would be like if i was a ghost? its how i feel right now. like i am so invisable to everyone around me.. i am so lost will someone please help me. i don't know what to do. PLEASE!!!!!! i really need someone right now..

Nicole91 · 01-02-2008, 03:14 AM

you need to start being postive and i'm sorry but your being really selfish and to be honest it's probably not your fault because your feeling like this at the moment, but the fact you said no one cares about you TRUST ME THEY DO! there will be at least one person in the world who cares about you, you've said your mum got you a councellor-fact that she cares. I'm a person who knows what it's like to lose someone you care about to suicide AND IT'S NOT NICE so no matter how your feeling right now, you'll make the people who care about you feel 10x worse than you do at the moment

Take yourself out of the whole situation for a moment, it sounds like maybe your goign through depression and you can come out on the other side if you just stick with it, think of others too and your life won't seem that bad really, i mean you've said you lost a girlfriend who meant a great deal to you and you seem alone in the world, but that's all you've said. There are many people in the world who are MUCH worse off than this and they cope, it's doable.

In like 5 years or even sooner , you'll hopefully be out of all this and think what a plank you were bing

seriosuly there are things in life that can make you happy, just find them

I'm on msn if you want anyone to talk to more....