Hey, I realise I do not make posts here well.. alright I made what one.. two.. I have just cooked up an interesting invention involving striped wires and a power supply. I made body nodes out of the stripped wires. I have filled a bathtub with salt water.. if it works properly I will stick the nodes to my body and flip a switch then it's all nothingness from there. The electricity flowing through me should disrupt the signals to my nerves and thus result in my organs failing... I wish you could have gotten to know me better.. I used to go to rouseindahouse before it died.. maybe someone remembers me from there.

If it doesn't work.. I'll be here with a return post.. Wish me luck.. I tried.. and tried again to make do with this life and I can not... I'm sorry about dumping this on you guys but I had to say good bye somewhere.. so.. good bye.

Dont give up yet... I nearly did, and regretted it ever since.

Things DO get better.

*sighs* I can't believe it... This message means I'm still here.. my calculations were off.. not enough juice to send a current through the water.. the nodes got hit but I didn't get the full force of the shock... I pushed the button though.. I pushed the button knowing it would kill me... which means I'm really capable of doing it.. which is what scares me now.. I dont know what to do.. I might just push that button again and this time I could be right.. get shocked and die.. I have a headache and I don't feel good.. I doubt I'll be up much longer..

Better luck next time?

What can you say.. life has pushed me one to many times. I'm looking for that one thing still that will give it meaning, make living a little more worth while. I have yet to find it.

you arent going to find it in a bath full of electric current

At the time.. I didn't care.. the only thing that was running through my mind was, I've had enough of all this bull.. I'm still here though for what it isin't worth.

hey, just don't do it. You know, The Used says, "And you never would have thought in the end how amazing it feels just to live again". I agree with them. You know you wish to die now but you'll really want to come back when your gone, then you can't. Life is hard, I know. And sometimes, it just feels like you're being kicked when your down but life is beautiful in many different ways. Just move on. Don't give up. Don't be a fucking loser, don't lose to life.
Go on. Life goes on no matter what happnes. I read a poem somewhere, it said,
"Death is too permanent to mess with,
and we all have limited time.
So remember when you decide to end yours,
you can't just press rewind."
Remember. Think. Use what you can counter life with, your brain. Don't lose it, hope is always there. Life goes on.

I have a full day to go through.. we'll see what happens today.. I'm giving it a small bit of effort at the moment I'll stick around for a bit and see where it goes.. a good day or two will tell me all I need to know.

yeah, you think it over. Don't just throw it all away just like that. Hope you have a good day.

You need a reason to live? i pity you.

Why exactly are you loco, you're only seventeen.

Whoa, that's a morbid idea there mate. If you decide to kill yourself, either way it won't feel good for a minute or two. And what good is being dead? Then you'll be dead and won't feel anything, won't know what it's like to be alive or eat pizza or go shopping or laugh or smile or love ever again. That doesn't sound like much fun to me.
Don't give up and kill yourself because things do get better, and I used to feel the same way and I regret ever cutting myself or trying to kill myself because I realised when I got hit by a car life is precious and should be cherished, no matter how hard things seem at the time. So please don't give up because there's a reason to live and people do care. I care. If you need anyone to talk to I'm here.

It's just a shame it takes being hit by a car to convince some people, i'll never understand you folk who are so pessimistic about life when theres so many great things in life.

Sex, food, hiking and traveling, i'd say friendship but that's obviously why some people are emo's.

Life is nice when you have things.. and it sucks when you loose them. Very simply put I'm tiered of only loosing things. From the way today just went, I'll be off fixing that power supply so it will work this time. Today was even worse then yesterday... what the hell is that telling me.