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**If you are going to call me a cry baby or anything rude, I would prefer if you just don't read this at all, seriously.**
I just need to write down how I feel right now, I seriously have no one to talk to, and I just need to get a few things off my chest.
First off, I am probably one of the ugliest people ever, fat stomach, terribly ugly face, dead hair. The whole ugly shabang! I hope I am not a shallow person, but when you feel so shitty about yourself all the time(and your ugly), , you can't help but feel down about your appearance as well.
Then there is my family, not only is everyone in my family that i never see really messed up (addictions and whatnot), the family that I do see completely hates me. I can never do or say anything right. I swear, if I were to die today, my family wouldn't morn my life at all. Not only do they hate me, but they also make me feel like shit. Basically every day I say SOMETHING to make my mom go off the edge and send her crying to her room, or packing her stuff to leave us.
Friends are supposed to make you feel better, but since I have about 4 friends its not the case. I know, I know, its quality, not quantity, but the quality of my friends isn't great at all. I have known my friends for less then a year, and I don't think any of they really like me very much. One of them tells me they hate me, or that I am retarded, or that I am stupid a few times a day, the other one just ditches me quite a bit. My other two friends I only take to in my 2 classes I have with them, and they often team up to just make fun of me during it.
Seriously, I am sorry, but i don't see the point in a life where the only things you enjoy are eating and sleeping.
Thanks for listening...
__________________
Quote:
i must have been blind to think someone could love a girl like me.
It's tough and I'm sorry you're not happy... it can get better though, if you try really really really your hardest to make it so I really believe that it can get better.
I can try to help you though! I'd like to. I understand that's not what you're asking for.. but I can help, if you want.
Feeling ugly. Dysfunctional family. "Friends". All of it sucks, I'm not going to lie to you. But there are ways to feel better. Believe me, I've been to all of those places. I'm not going to lie and tell you I've totally healed, because honestly sometimes I feel like there's no point to anything.
But there are lots of people in the world, and when you meet the right ones they can make everything seem worlds different. There are some places that might make you feel more alive. There are some situations that might make you laugh until you're crying.
I know its overwhelming, believe me oh god I know. But there are things that can help you, even just a little difference in the way you're feeling or a bright moment in your day can make you sleep better at night.
I'm offering myself up right now to you if you want someone to talk to. You're welcome to IM me, message me, whatever. And I'm sure there are lots of other people on this board who will do the same.
Now, let's make one thing perfectly clear. However unfirmilar with your situation I am, I can assure you, your parents care about you more than anything else in the world. You don't have to believe that but just let me put it out there.
Next, you state you enjoy eating and sleeping... there's your fucking reason. All you need is one reason to do something; one reason to keep on living, and I think you've found yours. So fucking what if people call you a lazy peice of shit. Are they involved in your eating and sleeping activities? No. All you'll ever need is your food and your bed.
I wrote you a reeeally long message in your thread on self-confidence in the fashion and glamour section, but the computer ate it. So I'll try again!
First, let me say that however it seems, your parents will care about you. They evidently have problems expressing that, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it. You say your friends are a problem... there's only really one thing you can do about that. You're right, friends ARE supposed to make you feel better. If your friends are making you feel bad, then maybe it's time to make some new friends. Soooo is there any way you can get out and meet more people? Clubs or youth-groups perhaps, where you might meet people interested in the same things as you? Take it from me - it works. However, I know that that would take quite a bit of self confidence, so here goes with the tips on boosting your self confidence, tried and tested by me!!
1. Fake it. Even if you feel bleuugghh about yourself, smile, hold your head high, walk with your back straight and make eye-contact with people. It's difficult at first, but boy does it make a difference!
2. Do something about your issues. For me (and it sounds like you too) my particular confidence issue is my body image (I'm a curvy UK size 14-16) so I make sure that I do a bit of exercise every day (whether walking to university, going for a jog or a swim, dancing, going to the gym...) and I try to eat healthily, without counting calories or anything. Incidentally, I feel much happier and up-beat when I do this compared with if I eat junk food and do no exercise.
3. Do things for you. Wear things that make YOU feel sexy (whether nice make-up, a pretty top or funky shoes), pamper yourself every now and then, watch a film that makes you feel happy... get the picture?
4. Change how you think. Concentrate on the positive things in life. I have a notebook in which I write down things that have been said to/about me that make me feel happy, and if I'm feeling down I read it. If someone's nasty to you, ignore them. Why should you care what someone like that thinks? There are too many people in the world to waste time and energy on the nasty spiteful ones. If you get criticized for a mistake, take on board what has been said, learn from your mistake.... and then move on. Don't dwell on what went wrong, cos it won't help.
I hope this has helped. Remember that even the most "perfect" person has hang-ups about themselves, and that beneath the surface they probably think of themselves as far from perfect, even if that's not what you see.
you should kill urself
Wait dont....
well maybe
but dont
I'd have to agree with schmetterling...
choose diff friends ,they sound like complete bitches....
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