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Old 05-08-2008, 09:59 AM   #1
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my secrets

im 19 years old and have never had a girlfriend

i make up stories about ex girlfriends so i dont feel stupid telling other guys im still a virgin.

my only "friends" could care less about me

I smile everyday at work and tell everyone im happy , even though i hate myself

Im so worried about what i look like, i cant walk past any reflective surface without fixing my hair.

I lost 110 pounds thinking it would make me HAPPY, but it DIDNT

I get depressed when i go to highschool sports games, because i see the guys having a good time with there friends... and thats ALL I EVER WANTED.

I wasnt picked last in gym class, i was NEVER PICKED AT ALL ( i sat on the bleachers because i was to embarassed to be the last one picked)

Nobody takes me seriously, im just "that one guy"

My family is disorganized, I wish we were all still CLOSE

Im scared to go to college because, I wont KNOW ANYBODY

I have to take people places, and buy them things, just so they will hang out with me, but id rather be seen with "friends".... then be SEEN ALONE.

I have no sympathy for people who CUT themselves. My life sucks and I still dont see the point in making it any WORST by doing dangerous things to my body.

My moms boyfriend calls me a pussy and a fag, because i never bring girls home, but the truth is... they dont want to go home WITH ME.

My dad has been with so many women ive lost count. I cant even get ONE GIRL.

So many people around me go to church, and I DONT ( even though i tell them I DO)

All I want to to do , is believe in god... but i know in my heart he doesnt EXIST. ...

because if he did ... i wouldnt be typing any of this. so much for answering my prayers dude. =/
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Old 05-08-2008, 10:03 AM   #2
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Re: my secrets

I suggest go to college to get a chance to start over. You may not have been accepted in your High school years, but college will be a chance for you to be someone new, and start over.

Don't mind your appearance, go out and have some fun. Enjoy yourself. Be who YOU want to be. Not who others want YOU to be.
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Old 05-08-2008, 02:36 PM   #3
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Re: my secrets

Why would you want to believe in god, he wouldnt help you if he could.

Anyway to the topic at hand, ask your father for tips, I learnt how to sweet talk from my father and it has yet to fail me, as he sleeps around now he's had a divorce too.

Get some interesting hobbies, this boosts character.

You don't need family, I only see my mother, father and sister are like once every few months.

If you tried to get involved in those games, even if your the last picked, you still wouldve had a laugh, eventually get to know them better and then not be last picked.
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Old 05-08-2008, 06:32 PM   #4
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Re: my secrets

When i turned 18 in November last year about 6 months ago i was going through the exact same thing. Not all similar but the no girlfriend thing & virginity shit, always seeking approval of others, anxious in public, anxious in social settings, anxious about looks etc etc

Ive never been bullied or tormented, in fact i was accepted amongst people who are considered popular and they just thought i was another guy. But deep down i had some problems.

You have identified your problems which is the first step, i spent weeks distracted over the direction my life was heading and what i could do about it. I had so many questions and worries but no sure answers.

I cant help you with everything, but the majority of that stuff i can help you. Information is there and its easy to change your life if you want it, if its to hard its to bad.

This post is getting incredibly huge so im gonna personal message you, that will stop people saying my advice is shit as well. What i say is what will work.
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Old 05-08-2008, 08:08 PM   #5
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Re: my secrets

be yourself and don't let people influence you.
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Old 05-08-2008, 09:40 PM   #6
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Re: my secrets

Sorry to be harsh, but you sound a tiny bit overdramatic and self-pitying. If you have this attitude all your life then you will probably fail if you try to do anything. But Idk, how much have you even tried talking to girls? I know your self-confidence can't exactly be great while someone is calling you a fag and a pussy, but still...

Surely there are some things you like about yourself and stuff you want to do? If you
want to go, I really think college would be a good idea for you; no one will know you
and you have a fresh start to show off the good side of you to new people.

And there are people farrrr older than you who have never had a girlfriend or had sex. Worrying about it or being desperate about stuff like that for the sake of it never seems to work, so just relax a bit and opportunites will come along.
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Old 05-09-2008, 03:43 AM   #7
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Re: my secrets

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
im 19 years old and have never had a girlfriend
There are plenty of other nineteen-year-olds who have never had girlfriends. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
i make up stories about ex girlfriends so i dont feel stupid telling other guys im still a virgin.
I would stop doing that right away. Eventually, someone will catch you in one of your lies. Better to look inexperienced than to be labeled a liar.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
my only "friends" could care less about me
Why do you say that? How do you know for sure that they don't? And if they don't, why haven't you tried to seek out nicer, friendlier guys?

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
I smile everyday at work and tell everyone im happy , even though i hate myself
I think everyone does. I mean, except for these people that like to have emotional breakdowns in front of people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
Im so worried about what i look like, i cant walk past any reflective surface without fixing my hair.
That DEFINITELY won't win you any friends. It's bad enough to be that self-conscious when you're a girl, but when you're a guy? Don't worry so much about your appearance, man. You have all these liberties being a guy (ex. you can go out looking like you've just rolled out of bed and no one will say anything) that you're not taking advantage of!

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
I lost 110 pounds thinking it would make me HAPPY, but it DIDNT
Who cares if it didn't fix all your problems? That's still a great accomplishment. Congratulations!

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
I get depressed when i go to highschool sports games, because i see the guys having a good time with there friends... and thats ALL I EVER WANTED.
Then quit being insecure and get out there and make some nice friends. The jackasses may seem cool and all that, but they won't ever have your back or treat you like a true friend should.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
I wasnt picked last in gym class, i was NEVER PICKED AT ALL ( i sat on the bleachers because i was to embarassed to be the last one picked)
I'm starting to see this pattern in your "secrets". You seem like a really self-defeating person, like you're giving up on things that you haven't even put that much effort into. I've been picked last plenty of times because I'm a girl, but you know what? I went out and played my hardest to prove to the guys that I was worth picking earlier on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
Nobody takes me seriously, im just "that one guy"
If no one takes you seriously, it's because you're not being serious. You're checking out of life before you've even checked in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
My family is disorganized, I wish we were all still CLOSE
Then make it your job to make them close again! Don't sit around and wait for someone else to do it. If necessary, flat out tell your family that you miss them and that you want to spend more time with them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
Im scared to go to college because, I wont KNOW ANYBODY
How many people do you think go into college knowing people? Not very many, let me tell you. View college as your opportunity to start over, and make new friends. Don't go into college with the attitude of "I'm a loser, I'm not worth talking to". Go to college with the attitude of "I'm really happy to be here, I can't wait to get involved".

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
I have to take people places, and buy them things, just so they will hang out with me, but id rather be seen with "friends".... then be SEEN ALONE.
We all have to do favors for our friends sometimes. But if it feelsl like they're using you, they're not your friends. Don't hang out with them anymore. It's better to be alone than in bad company.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
I have no sympathy for people who CUT themselves. My life sucks and I still dont see the point in making it any WORST by doing dangerous things to my body.
You obviously know nothing about cutting, or you wouldn't view it the way that you do. I'm not saying to go and cut yourself, but don't be ignorant. People who cut are experiencing emotions that you've never experienced, no matter how badly you think your life sucks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
My moms boyfriend calls me a pussy and a fag, because i never bring girls home, but the truth is... they dont want to go home WITH ME.
Ignore your mom's boyfriend. He sounds like an asshole.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
My dad has been with so many women ive lost count. I cant even get ONE GIRL.
Because it's such an accomplishment to sleep around! I mean, seriously...just because you have sex with a bunch of girls doesn't mean that you've actually had a meaningful relationship with any. Don't think of yourself as any less of a man because you haven't "been" with a bunch of girls.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
So many people around me go to church, and I DONT ( even though i tell them I DO)
Again with the lying...

Quote:
Originally Posted by whoknows View Post
All I want to to do , is believe in god... but i know in my heart he doesnt EXIST. ...

because if he did ... i wouldnt be typing any of this. so much for answering my prayers dude. =/
I know how you feel. I want so badly to believe that God exists, but it's sort of off-and-on for me right now. My life has been so difficult these past few years that I can't imagine that there's anyone or anything good in this world, much less a God who loves us all. But it's your decision whether you want to continue doing what I'm doing and try to learn more about Christianity and how every Christian goes through tough times, or explore other beliefs/religions and what they have to offer.
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Old 05-20-2008, 03:46 AM   #8
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Re: my secrets

just because your a virgin doesn't mean you should hate yourself.

i agree with vanack (sp?) and recommend that you do go to college. maybe, it's a good thing that you won't know anyone because of the fact that you can start over. make new friends and such.
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Old 05-20-2008, 03:54 AM   #9
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Re: my secrets

maybe if you stop being so negative and start thinking positive you would see a drastic change in your life
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Old 05-23-2008, 04:06 AM   #10
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Re: my secrets

Think positive stop worrying about yourself a lot. Go out , speak your mind , life is short.
Stop sulking and be happy with little you still have and embrace your weakness because we human being ,we make a lot of mistakes. If you are in a high school ,I suggest you to take part in extracurricular activities or join clubs. By this way you get involved and meet new people.
Build a reputation of yourself.
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Old 05-23-2008, 05:00 AM   #11
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Re: my secrets

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanack View Post
I suggest go to college to get a chance to start over. You may not have been accepted in your High school years, but college will be a chance for you to be someone new, and start over.

Don't mind your appearance, go out and have some fun. Enjoy yourself. Be who YOU want to be. Not who others want YOU to be.

OMG I TOTALLY AGREE I THINK IN COLLEGE THERE A LITTLE BIT MORE MATURE AND THEY CAN ACCEPT PEOPLE EASIER UMMM COLLEGE IS TRULLY LIKE A NEW LIFE U WONT BE NEAR UR FAMILY AND U CAN MAKE NEW FRIENDS JUST TRY UR HARDEST TO BE OUT GOING AND JUST CHILL AND RELAX
...... NO WORRIES....... LOL
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Old 05-24-2008, 01:53 AM   #12
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Re: my secrets

Quote:
Originally Posted by XX~MZ.BELOVED~XX View Post
OMG I TOTALLY AGREE I THINK IN COLLEGE THERE A LITTLE BIT MORE MATURE AND THEY CAN ACCEPT PEOPLE EASIER UMMM COLLEGE IS TRULLY LIKE A NEW LIFE U WONT BE NEAR UR FAMILY AND U CAN MAKE NEW FRIENDS JUST TRY UR HARDEST TO BE OUT GOING AND JUST CHILL AND RELAX
...... NO WORRIES....... LOL
Holy caps lock, Batman!

~Maggot
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Old 05-26-2008, 12:23 AM   #13
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Re: my secrets

You should stop worrying about your appearance and yourself and how you look in front of others and start accepting yourself for who you are. If you don't start accepting yourself, you can't expect anyone else to.

& as for your mum's boyfriend; what the hell does he know? I'm sure you're a nice person and looks shouldn't bring you down, just believe in yourself.
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