It’s been two years since I’ve been in a constant state of ‘sadness’ or whatever. It all crumbled down when my dad died and I was left with an alcoholic bipolar mother and an abusive brother.

Each day, I look in the mirror and I’m not far from tears. When I get changed, I close my eyes out of shame. I only feel a tiny bit happy when I picture some man/boy hugging me and not calling me ugly or fat. Then I start crying because I realise that no man or boy is ever going to think as anything but that obese hippo thing with a sad expression

All I want is a hug and someone to care about me but I’m never going to find that in my state, am I? I’m hugging a pillow into my old age probably. It’s not someone is ever going to date me. I’m just catatonic from the loneliness.

I have no real friends. I got kicked out of the reject group for not knowing Harry Potter’s middle name and not putting up with one of them ranting about how I’m a devilish meat-eater and that I should go to hell. They are even more socially dumb than me, and I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was eleven (it got removed when I turned thirteen however)

The other crowds don’t mind me, but whenever you try to join I get rejected for being fat. The very words have literally been said to me, “You can’t be friends with us because you a fat mong!” Others start to bully me as they know they can because they know I have no one to defend me

P.S. I don’t want a ton of people saying what they think of appearance without the evidence. I'd show the pictures but this forum has a pointless 25 post limit to link links. I'm not linking anyone to pornography or spam. -.-

What the hell am I going to do with myself? I don’t really think my life is going to get any better. I’d die for an African any day... at least they’d enjoy and appericate their life more. I just feel like a selfish self-pitying cow

(I posted this on another forum and all I got what that I was fat because of climate change and that I should join a sports club – but I get rejected from football clubs and stuff.)

People are assholes. Seriously.

Let me ask you, if you hate your appearance so much, why wont YOU change it? What is stopping you? You totally would have the determination to do it if you truly wanted to.

With a strict diet and cardio + exercising, you could lose that weight with the right encouragement, and don't feed me the "I can't do it" bullshit, if you REALLY hate your appearance, YOU need to be the one who wants to change, then, simply do it. It will be hard work, but nothing in life is easy. You will love the changes you see from it, but it will take time.

Let me ask, how old are you?

And there are 6 BILLION people in this world, you'll find somebody, seriously, don't give up hope just yet.

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AT this moment, well past four weeks I've been living off 1000-1200 calories per day and exercising for ten hours per week. I just feel like **** and cry at night because of the hunger.

There's more to my appearance than my weight. What about strech marks, cellulite, green teeth, huge gums, bingo wings, ugly belly, bad legs, manly feet and hands and wrists, piggy face and nose, hideous eyes and not to mention my disgusting personality.

I'm fourteen.

I'm ****ing fed up of the hope ****. I've been hoping for something better in two years and all I get is this... I haven't been hugged since I was six.

You are making progress. You are 14, you still need to grow and mature, which will also help, predominantly, as the years progress, you will naturally turn out for the better, especially since you are working out and dieting. Good, that is progress.

It seems you over-analyze your body, you find yourself ugly so everything associated with you yourself is ugly. Feet, hands, belly, face....Most will turn out for the better once you start seeing drastic changes which will occur if you are indeed working out and dieting. Green teeth can predominantly be bleached if I recall correctly, which cost about $400.00, give or take.
I am sure your eyes are just fine.

And your personality, from what I can tell, is not disgusting.

Mostly everything you mentioned is curable/fixable. You just need to believe in yourself, believe in your ability to maintain a diet and exercising and you'll see massive pounds dropped and belt sizes.

It is hard for me to give exact details with no photos, but this is the best I can do. You can do it, hell, You HAVE been for the past 4 weeks. It'll only get better from here with you exercising and working out.

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We can't even afford to buy a school uniform never minding teeth bleaching. Don't tell me to get a bloody job because I have a paper round that pays for my meals.

I never said to get a job. -.-

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I'd say stop and think about life. if it aint gon' end tomoro you got no reason to be so down. i was about 4 times my average weight in 7th grade. depressed, lonely, and had barely any friends.

I found one good friend and stuck by him, 2 years later i was one of those assholes with all the friends, only difference is i couldnt give a hoot if you were overweight, purple or had down syndrome, you'll get to learn everyone is a friend untill they prove otherwise.

Highschool is one of the hardest times for young teenagers in a minority, (though being overweight nowdays is not classed as a minority, im sure you understand what im saying)

You'll get through it, give it time, theres no instant fix for bullies apart from a punch in the head

your life is to important to worry about what others think. be yourself

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You call yourself fat but there is no reason why you can't enjoy life as much as everyone else is.
Yes it hurts when you get called fat, I get it all the time but I lift my head of high and ignore it and those that call me it. I ignore the fact they even said it and talk to them as normal.
If they get really bad you can say: "So what, I don't care why should you". Even though I know it bothers but if people see that you don't care, they will stop saying it.
They only say because you show offence and upset when they do.

You are exercising you said in another and you cry because of hunger pains. It does get hard and you do get them but if you stick to it, you will love the difference it will make in the long run. I know you are 14 and you are coping with a lot at the moment.

But keep strong and it will all work out in the end.

Ps: I would give you a hug if I lived where you did, but I don't. So here is a virtual hug because I think you deserve it more than anyone!

****[ H U G ]****

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Life is the one thing we are in control of.
We can either let the bad times get us down
Or we can concentrate on the good - even when we feel that there isn't any.

Don't starve yourself. You shouldn't have hunger pain.
Because when you do eat a decent amount of food, you're body is gonna store it as fat for the next time you starve.
It's a survival mechanism.

Anyway, being overweight isn't the end of the world.
And if you want people to like you, then you have to start liking yourself.
If your generally positive about things, and smile, people will be more likely to want to be friends with you.

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Haha. That sucks. Bring a tear to my eye. It really does. . Ok ok. im sorry. but as stated above you can change that. Talk to counslers and workout. Stop crying. Nothing good comes out of that. Most people are shallow and will only go for looks. The way you described yourself. Sounds kinda disgusting. Not to be mean. Look I used to be the exact same way thats why I laugh (also because i like the sadness of other) but i fixed my sef. I lost 50 pounds (gym) brushed daily all that shit. I fixed myself. (still have my bad personality but i like it) Everything will turn out right. At least we hope. Good luck.

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For heaven's sake catch me before I kill more. I cannot control myself.

Why sit there thinking what others' think? You live once, so enjoy it while it lasts. There is always someone out there for each other, you just haven't found that person, so don't worry. Also, if you're really bothered about your weight, just go on a diet and start eating healthy. You'll be in shape in no-time.