every one wants to die at one point if u dont kill your self eventually ull feel better

if you do ull be like wow i fucked up

This isn't a one time thing... if you read what I wrote you'd know I feel like this all the time.

how will they be all like "wow i fucked up" if they're dead???

if ur gonna do then u would've done it. no need for u to come on a teen chat if ur in college if i recall.

ur in college go out an have fun, go to a club, party, mix an mingle, meet new people. u may say that its easier sayed than done, but thats a sign of a eak person, and everyone is born strong, an when they start sayin stuff like that then u really are lost.

Seriously.

This is sad Ama.

I enjoy reading your happy posts.

Please cheer up, i don't talk to you but i know this isn't like you and i know people love you around here.

xx

I often feel exactly like this, like I am unloved and like I have to change myself for others. It's really hard to get out of that rut where you feel like there's no hope, but just try to push through it.
Think of everything you do have. You might say you'd rather be loved and homeless or have aids etc, but you're very lucky not to be in a situation like that. Someone somewhere loves you to some extent, whether it's a friend or a family member or even someone online, juts try to focus on the positive, nomatter how hard it is.
You have your whole life ahead of you and you won't feel like this forever.
Like people said before, get out there, push yourself to meet new people and have fun, it makes a big difference just to try.

Thank you Maria, and I just hope you are right.

my friend. I have some simple advise for you.

close your eyes. and look around at your life. what is it you have that is good...even it is one thing. a family member thats fun and sincere to be with. one close freined that you trust above the rest. anything at all.

now treasure that feeling of having that one thing. even if its small.

I know how you feel. honestly I do. I am never one to lie and I will say that I feel the same as you. However it seems I am invincible to emotional pain...it will never kill me. I could never end my own life.

I have silently prayed for death everyday that I have lived. Honestly and truly. I am stricken with an old guilt. I was the cause...the reason that my birth father committed suicide. and so in my heart I feel I killed him.

I know how you feel.

But I get by in this world knowing that I am here to help others. I am useful as a counciller to my friends, my family do care about me...

A close friend of mine also committed suicide.

Let me tell you something few decide to tell...there is not any amount of pain in this life that you could feel...that would come close to the pain that would be in those that were left behind in the knowledge of what you did.

Can you honestly kill yourself knowing that you would cause so much pain to do so?

You may look at this screen and think these people ar but pixels...but you must remember that though you may not see our faces, there are real people behind these words. And these people care about you.

we may not be able to physically show you it...but we do love you. you are loved. and so I plead with you...do not take your own life.

That really touched me . You did not kill your father, he killed himself. Please don't blame yourself for something like that.

my friend. many people like yourself have sought to console me of my guilt.

My father killed himself because he could not handle a third child. 1 was hard. 2 he could barely cope. I was the third and final straw. he tried for 2 years and in the end...just killed himself.
and so the fact remains that if I were never born, my father would be alive. so indirectly I am responsible. and I will never stop hurting over it.

but this thread is not about my pain...it is about your own. Often the world may seem a cold and cruel place...but there will be someone in it, even if not now or for a few years...but one day, someone will come along and bring with them a warmth to your heart. Even if things go wrong and you are left once again, alone...you would have felt the love you seek.

and so my friend...for that...is that not a reason to fight for? is it not a reason to live for?

I believe it is.

I just do not believe it is your fault. You were a child! It was his choice to make you.

Sorry to hear this, but it'll get better don't worry. You'll make new friends who treat you well - just give it time.

After you cut me to pieces today, I'm not even sure if you are sincere.