This is probally going to be long, I have alot of stuff going on, dont read if you dont want to. I am an 18 year old male currently living in kitchener, ontario, and I dont know what to do anymore. I doubt anyone here has any answers for me, I just feel like talking to someone. Im at the library, today I had court at 8 AM, I did not go. For the last 2 days I had been at the detox clinic(let me tell you, that place is a worthless place, they make you feel like prisoners, and are treated horrible) I had told them specificly I had court today,and reminded them several times, and told them I also had no way there and asked if they could find me bus fare or something, as it is in another city and would be a several hour walk. I was told they would figure it out, well today they wake me up at 9 am for braekfest (there is no clocks in the rooms) and I get up, get panicked, and get ready to leave hoping late is btter then ever, and the lady in charge this monring said they are detox not a hadnout service, they dont have a bus ticket for me, and basicly im on my own. I felt out of place at the detox centre, I dont feel I was one of the people there, yes I occasionaly use some softer drugs and drink, but I dont tihnk its my biggest problem, the main reason I went is I was hoping it would help me out with my court problems (maybe judge would see im trying too fix my life). Before I was in detox, ive been homeless for 3 months. I dont know many people in this city, I lived in wetawaskiwan (near edmonton) for several years proir to 3 months ago, I had moved here too live with my dad too go too school, and I got kicked out 3 days after I moved here over pretty much bullshit reasons, and he has been unreasonable since, I tihnk hes currently in jail. I dont speak to my mother, she is bitter over custody battle with my dad when I was young. I have been living in a tent for a while, I was working at a place called labour ready (its a temp agenecy where you get paid cash daily, just show up). I had saved a littel money (250 dollars) and moved in with someone I had thought was a friend, but they dissapreared with not only my cash, but my belongings (my clothes, my guitar, what other little crap I had). This was maybe a month ago. The free shelter services around and welfare wil not help me, as apperntly I owe the goverment alot of money, my dad had been scamming welfare in my name as far as I can tell. I cant motivate myself to go to work anymore, it feels like its not even worth it, I just cant get ahead. Im facing breach of recognince, underage drinking, possesion of pot with intent to sell, criminal mischief, and possesion of a deadly weapon with intent too use over a stupid incident where I should have known better, a girl I had just met basicly set me up to get jumped, trying to make her x bf jelous, kisses me right infront of him with his 5 friends there, I got jumped, tried to defened myself by threanting them with a beer bottle, police got called. So especialy after missing my court date I guess im going to jail soon. I have other problems, I think ive listed enough. My belonging fit in a plactic bag right now (infact, they arein a plastic bag lol).Alot of the time I think about suicide, I think if I had the balls to do it I already would have, I attempted it once, I think I failed on purpouse though. Ive been thinking maybe of hitchiking somewhere new, maybe out east, I dont want the lifestlye I live in now, I use to be smart, have lots of friends, girlfriends, now I feel like I have nothing, here everyone I know does drugs and are just invloved in the gangster mentalilty, I dont wantr too have too sell drugs to get by. This is probally jumbled and almost unreadable, ive just never wrote it all down and thought maybe id think of something new, or itd help me someway.

Man you sound like someone who has had so much shit in there life recently, but i can tell your a gd person to be quite honest with you i think you should forget about all that crap, go to another state or somewhere nice and just start again get a job, make friends, regain your life. You dont deserve this crap, you can do this man do it for yourself you worth more than a plastic bag

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