now i've already made a thread about my problems but it wasnt very good ( didnt really explain what the problems where) so im going to try again.

for the past few days i have felt extremely depressed. I have also thought about ways to kill myself and decided which way would be the best to do it (i dont have the balls to act on it though)
i have known for a while now that i have hardly and friends but i've recently come to realise that i actually dont have any friends and that the people that i did count as friends are probably the worst at making me feel worse (eg things like constantly taking the piss out of me)
the people i got on 'okay' with at school are/were just people that used me when it suited them and also spent there time taking the piss out of me all the time.
lots of people know im not a happy person but they just make a joke out of it (this is helped by the fact that i try my best to make it seem like i'm alright, a lot of the time)
my dad is a horrid person, he blames me for the littlest of things (and blows them way out of proportion) try standing up to him he shouts and gets angry and doesnt leisten to reason, i've tried talking to my mum about him and she then talks to him about things causing an arguement which then my dad, in his rage (and after), blames on me
i cant talk to my mum as when i talk to her she twist things so that she is the one with the problems and then tells me to go away, she also can't seem to notice when im not happy and on the rare ocassion she does she automatically assumes it is her that has caused the problem and then goes on to ignore me for a while.
there was one person, a person that i did count as a friend, a person that was allways nice to me, never said anything bad to me and allways managed to make me feel a bit happier but today they decided that they will no longer talk to me any more (they have a lot of problems of their own)
i hate myself, all i do is sit in my room doing nothing which is not good as it gives me time to think about my problems - allthough this makes things clearer it makes my problems seem even worse. I now have 11 weeks of doing nothing (extended summer holiday due to study leave and lack of friends also mean a lack of a social life) to think about these problems making myself feel even worse

because of feeling like this, it makes me feel physically ill - i get headaches and feel sick, i dont feel like eating much anymore and havent been able to hold a conversation with someone for the past 3 days

i sometimes wish i had a new life completely different from mine

i know the advice that is going to be given to me and i will most probably come up with reasons against it which kinda defeats the object of me post this all in the frist place

Care to explain in-depth?





Do you drive? See, by you posting here, it means you WANT help, it means you want to change, if you want it badly enough, you'll do it.

First thing is first. Describe yourself furthermore so I can try figuring out what is happening here. What do you like to do? How do you feel about your body? Your appearance? How do people use you? What do they say to you that pisses you off? Are you picked on? What do those people say?

I know these might not be questions you expected, but I am trying a different approach.

im sorry i cant explain more about that person

i deont feel to great about my body and appearance, i mean the're not that bad but the're not that good either
people use me, um.. it's like they are nice and even friendly when they want something (eg answers to school work) or they can be nice when they want a conversation about their interests but at other times they are just nasty
people have allways been nasty and taken the piss out of me as i never used to stand up for myself or when i did i made myself look stupid - something for them to laugh at - ive stopped doing this but it seems like they havent stopped trying to get a reaction out of me

about the person - they have just apologised (and i've apologised to them - i was quite rude to me after they said they were going to leave me alone) so things are better with them

Erm, advice advice *Twiddles thumbs*
I actually don't know what to except, I'll be your friend. No seriously, I'm a nice person and I'm always active on the net to talk to so if you want to make a new friend then you can add me anywhere.. Bebo, Myspace.. Hotmail.. All that shizzle, we may have the same tatses in music.. Well, Similar actually I just checked your Bebo and such.

And I totally understand about the "using" and such.. It's happened to me time after time after time. I got used to it. And well, Yeah. If you want to add me on anything just PM me and I'll accept you =]

Just becareful, You get me talking about games I might not stop =/

i dont mean to be offensive or ungrateful but its all well and good having online friends but i want friends in real life if you know what i mean

If you want real friends then go out. Simple as that. You are not gonna make connections with anyone if you are not involved in anything.

Hey James

I think if you've given up on your friends at school (i'm assuming they're from school) then maybe you should get out and get involved. Think of something you've always been interested in and sign up. Helping out the community, playing a sport, whatever tickles your fancy. There are heaps of people who you can work together with in organisations such as those and its so easy to make friends with people who all have a common interest.

I kind of understand where you're coming from with the whole, people taking the piss out of you. It occasionally happens to me but I usually just laugh it off. My boyfriend actually suffers badly at school. He had to move groups to get away from the idiots he used to sit with. I'm still friends with someone from his old group and you know what he said to me when I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing? "Well everyone else was paying him out. I tried sticking up for him like once and then I got paid out as well. He's actually an alright kid but it's social suicide if I hang out with him." I was furious. Apparently his whole school hates him because of who he is. He hasn't done anything to him but they totally take advantage of them and it's just not fair on his behalf. So maybe changing the group you hang out with will make the situation better?
Anyway I hope I said at least something useful.

xx

um tbh i live in quite a small town and i dont know of any clubs outside of sport where i live (i am crap at and i hate sport)
it'd be quite hard for me to change social groups - i go to quite a small school so it's hard to get one without people that are horrible to me - and it is hard to get accepted into social groups -i have tried

Extended summer

I hated that

From your post (and the fact youre from over here) i guess that youre in year 11 going into 12? or 13 going to uni?
If im right
I suggest maybe you think about moving schools or moving away for uni
I plan to move away next year for uni to start afresh
maybe that would do you good?

go out and find new people
I promise you will find people who will appreciate you!!

feel free to message me =]

(oh and if my guess was completely wrong im sorry lol)