Well im 19 years old, alot of my family is dead/don't know where they are. My parents and 2 other brothers died in a car crash afew years ago. I live in an apartment and have 2 jobs. Some nights I feel like I want to kill myself, it's been getting worse, I don't want to die but an erges comes over me and tell me to end it. I know things could get better but I can't controll myself sometimes. It's a weird fealing I could explain it better in my head but.. anyway what should I do when im thinking these things. When i do think these things im just thinking I want to be with my family again, ...I dont know I miss my family :/

What should you do? Remember that there's always something else--and even if there isn't, if you believe there's life after death, it'll always be there. That's why they call it "eternal life." In comparison to that, spending another ~70 years here is just a drop in the bucket, and you can't ever know that things won't get better, that you won't find "something to live for."

Listen. I've been there. I mean, I am there. I don't have anyone. There have been times that I "knew" I was going to die (not by my own hand) and accepted it, so sometimes it seems like being dead would simplify a whole bunch of shit. But then I remember that there are books I haven't read and someone's got to feed my cat and I don't know what the hell happens on Weeds and I need to find someone to design my perfect tattoo and if the world ends during my lifetime it would be really fucking exciting and I haven't seen an orca up close and......

The point is, there has to be at least one thing you're mildly curious about. There has to be something you don't know. There has to be someone, somewhere in the world, that you could care about and create a family with. There's always something more.

And maybe we'll never be happy. Maybe we'll spend the rest of our lives wishing--you for your parents and brothers, me for my mom or that filly that died, whatever. But there are a lot of things my mother hoped for in her life, for herself and for me, and I know she'd be really disappointed if I threw it all away. I can only assume your family would feel the same way.

You have my sympathy.

I guess you don't have a loved-1, but if you did, it might all change..

Travel is the best answer for anything.