hiya everyone ... this is my first post to this site or to aany site about what im going through my life, i just want to start off by by saying that im 16 year old boy turning 17 this august. ive been very despressed ever since i know dont know exactly when it started but my dad is very abusive to me he htis me he kicks me he punches me he even barracades me in my own room so i cant get out and i have nothing to eat nor to drink.. but i know he loves me my brother is living on his own, im lonely now my mom is with us too but they get itno fights.. my mom just went to europe past 3 months ago since then its been hell cuz my mom isnt here to stop the fights which my dad starts... with me i know they want me to have a good life but i dont think its helping.. and now i just heard my mom got hit by a car and my grandmother 1 week ago.. and their in the hospital and no one is telling me how they're doing or anything.. ive switched schools all over the place including montreal vancouver toronto europe and doesnt work anywhere i have no friends what so ever cause i know im going to move again.. i got kicked out of all my schools and no other schools would accept me atm.. lets just say im not very good kid everyone thinks im a hooligan but deep inside idk whats in me.. i couldnt take the pain anymore i started to think about killing my self everytime i walk on the street or anywhere i thought it was nothing but then all of the sudden out of no where i started to cut my self all the girls ignore me they say im sweet they say im cute they say im alwasy tehre for them but it went it comes to me i get bad karma and and know i think im addicteed to cutting my self i cut my self everyday only my best friend knows about this no one else knows and he doesnt know what to say.. and today is the lowest point of my life my parents are in europe (dad wne to get my mom from hospital) and i feel like im going to kill myself literrally at work people laugh at me and joke about my scars and say im emo but i dont even look like one or anything like that please dont sterio type people even if i did i realize its not funny at all... i dont want this to go any further then cutting.. i want to stop but i cant cause pain is the only way to remind me im still in this world or any other world there is for me.. no one wants me i get bullieed all the time and still am i cant take it anymoore i dont know what to do anymore i really need help i thot i would never end up like this i wwas suppose to meet my friends up today to have fun and forget the pain but they ditched me again.. as usual i dont have true friends they backstabd they use me what should i do? any ideas what i can do to get this out of my mind and to stop cutting my selfs its like smoking i just cnat stop and im afraid one day it will go further then just cutting my self please .. im very young to be doing this to myself why im i doing this to myself .. i always ask my self but i dont get the answer.. im i crazy? mental? sorry

If your dad hits you and it's battery, it's a serious legal issue.

No foor or drink? Your dad is required by law to not starve you.

You have my sympathy as to what happened to your mom and grandma.

You know, you could write a book about your life. In that case, suicide is not the answer.

ya i understand neal just my dad has a serous anger management problem he doesnt know how to control it my guidance teachers at school tryed to talk to him they thought they got through to him but they didnt oviously and i dont want to call child services or anyone like that cause im afraid theyll take me away or him and he'll be even more angry then before and im not sure what he'll do next... but now im home alone for another week until they come back if my mom manages to come back......sigh. and yes suicide isnt at all the answer to anything its only a permanent solution to a temporary problem but for me it just seems my whole life has been a problem for me when i look how other kids lifes are, that there are people who have it worse then me i also haave anixiety since i was a kid i would panic on the public bus just because it was so crowded... and embarrass myself the only thing that is pushing me to not kill myself is that ...well i thought about it when i was about to sleep one night if i do killmyself ..that means my parents would prob cry my brother my relatives and some friends but i dont care about them they have been assholes i dont want to ever see my parents cry especially if i killed my self that would break my heart i just dont know why i have an addiction to be cutting my self even when if had a decent day or the best day either doesnt matter. just recently my dad told me before he left "your a worthless, peice of shit" hes probably right im worthless......thats why ive even been looking for a girlfriend for someone i can put my head on and cry and talk about our feelings but it just seems nothing i wished for in life even happpiness will never come to me maybe im not favored in gods heart