I cant say that throughout life i wasnt cared for or loved, that would be a lie. Ive had my share of drama in life to that i wont discuss as its hard to explain and long. Anyways, growing up as a kid people would give me this wierd look, its hard to explain but when they gave me that look it made me feel like an anomoly or abomination. Everybody gave me this look, family, friends, teachers and even just complete strangers while i was walking down the street. I noticed my mom would give me that look whenever i iritatied her, i can understand that but it still mad me feel like i was an anomoly. So will i was gowing up i would try and be useful, ask people if they wanted help doing work or asking my parents if they wanted help around the house. But again they still gave the same look. When i was about 14 i was in history class and my teacher would always tell us of how solirs deserve the uttermost respect for giving there lives up for what we had now. I live in a small town and we have Memorial thing like most towns that we gather at to pay our respects to our countrys soldiers that died in the past. The day before november 11 (rememberance day) Our history teacher got us to go to the place with the memorial and tidy it up for the next day. Thats when i relized that this could sove my problem. If i was to gain alot of respect people would stop giving me that look. So i desided that i would join the military as a career. Im 16 now and im trying my best in school. People still give me that look, ive never told anybody about my goal, not even my best friends or family. But i somethimes i feel like its never going to work. What if i do this and people still hate me or i cant get into the military because im not strong or smart enough. I feel like its useless and i should just die, like lifes not even worth it. I dont know what to do anymore im so depressed. I just want to lay down and cry and fall asleep forever. I figure if i was to disapear people would be happier, life would be so much better if i was to have never existed. Im serieosly considering suicide. I see it doing alot more good than harm.

If people look at you funny, tell them to go fuck themselves. Works a charm for me.

hopless. lol.

My friend you need a right slap if you think that final line of your statement is true. As you said, you are loved and you know it.

Your entire dilema is about a look you read on peoples faces, did you ever think of asking why they look at you like that?

You said friends do it too, they are perfect to confront. Ask one of them, corner them and tell them you are sick of it and want to know whats so different about you that they would look at you like that.

Look at your life.

You have friends.
Family.
People who love and care for you that you love and care for back.

We remember those that went to war because their dead. They died for us.

Do you want that? To only be respected because you fought some stupid war and died?

You want to be respected? Show some inner strength.

Forget their looks, forget their whispers or whatever, you study and you study hard. you get a great job and earn a great lot of money.

And then put that money to good use.

Open a charity.
Fix up the town.

Something you will be recognised for as the good person you are. Dont make them remember you...make them SEE you.

Death is not the way.

Your parents and siblings and friends or whatever...they would grieve for you. You would cause them great pain and if you really are different and deserve the looks they give, then that is all the will remember you being.

Make them see you.

Live.

You said that you were loved and cared for throughout your life so how do you think those people would feel should you take your own life? People won't hate you and you want to know what else as long as you are trying your best in school and life that is all anyone can asks for you can talk to me if need be.

everyone. look at this person. this is a person that actually knows what their on about. take a good look. this should be you when giving advice.

very nice Christ. Very well said.