Last year I was REALLY suicidal ... I thought I wasn't good enough for anybody I even tried an overdose of sleeping pills ... but luckely it didn't work ... it just made me sick.

Lately I've been better, but sometimes [... strangely enough, normaly in the nights] I feel VERY suicidal and wanna cut myself ... I've cut myself about 2 times in my life ... coz I kept having arguments with my bf [... well ex ex boyfriend now] I have quite good self control ... luckely, so I can stop myself from cutting myself ... if I didnt have very good self control my wrists would be covered in scars by now.

These depresing phases I go through only last about a day ... which is kinda good I guess ... coz then the next day I'm normaly fine.

But I don't understand why they happen ... it happens just all of a suddon ... I start crying for no reason and wanna die or cut myself.

Lately I've been feeling like this mostly because my ex bf broke up with me just last month and I keep feeling that I'm not good enough for anybody and every relationship I'll have I'll end up fucking up at one point so what's the point in trying?

But the next day I can be REALLY happy and hyper and don't care about anything and just wanna have fun =/ It's just so strange.

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To me it seems like you have manic depression. The proper name is bi polar. You might want to get that checked out before it gets worse.

I know where you are coming from. There are days where my blade says in it case and I feel perfectly fine. And then there are days where I sit in the cold shower for hours slicing my legs apart. So, I understand. About the suicide thing, try attempting it about 25 times. Seriously it's not even funny to count that high. To these day I still try to achieve killing myself. It's hard but it makes you stronger.

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The last thing to find out is if there is anything physically wrong. What you describe can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. These can be restored by pills but you need a Doctor to find out both if anything is wrong and what to do about it.
It's very normal for teens to have ups and downs because their hormonal level is still balancing itself. If you are in control I'd try to wait it out and see if things get better as you move towards your twenties.
You've already found out that looking forward to the good days helps you go through the bad ones. Keep focused on that,

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Take it easy. There are exceptions to everything I say.

I get that too. :/

well everything which happened inside our mind ,our mind control that and our mind is controled by our thinking. so just change urs thinking . always see positive side of anything not the negative side. it will help you.

Yes manic depression it could be... I got a friend who has to buy her drugs[medicine] online as she doesn't want everyone in the locality to know she suffers from bipolar.. of course there's nothing to be ashamed of but she buys at Buy ABILIFY (ARIPIPRAZOLE) Online Now .... Please, go to a doctor, maybe it's nothing but prevention is better than cure... you have to be careful.. There ARE people who care for you..

I'm sorry you feel that way. I know a bit about how you feel and it sucks.. a lot.

No, don't think you're not good enough for anyone. You're young, you still have a long long time to find love. Don't expect to fall in love right now. Not every relationship will last in high school. I'm not saying it's impossible, but these are the years for looking. These are the years to have fun so that later on in life you can find someone truly right for you without regrets.

I know it's tough to think so sometimes, especially when you're in one of the lows, but you only get one life. One you. You might as well enjoy yourself. It doesn't matter how much you hate yourself- it won't change a thing. So why not try to enjoy it all instead of trying to end it? It's a hell of a lot better feeling.

Good luck with everything. I hope things turn out okay.

my best friend has depression. it usually gets sparked by upsetting events that happens to him.

you are lucky that your depression only lasts a day or so. my friend's can last for months and months. the last time he was hospitalized because of his depression.

you dont want your depression to get worse so you might want to go see a doctor.

and it also helps that whenever you start to feel upset or feel an episode coming on, you should start talking to someone that way you have a way of getting out all of your emotios instead of doing something that you might regret.

Well,
I used to cut myself, and I am dealing with depression and bipolar..
but now my life is totally turned around.. I deal with the depression and yes some days are bad and some a great.. thats life..


If you don't feel good about yourself or feel that you aren't good enough, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, 'I am beautiful, I am good enough'


It helps..
but don't hurt yourself no matter what!
If you feel like hurting yourself or the walls are caving in, just start a journal and write down your thoughts, and things you wish to make better.

=]]

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I used to cut myself too. Go to a doctor, get checked out, and maybe this can all be solved.

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