My best friend, who I've been with for 2 years, is depressed to say the least. I love her more than anyone else, shes the first one ive ever loved without trying to, when shes sad, Im sad. When shes depressed, im depressed. When something goes wrong with her life, I wish with all of my might that I could take the problem away and deal with it for her. When she smiles, I couldnt be happier.
She hasnt had the best life, and shes now working full time to pay off a debt, and paying for her own food and clothes because her parent cand afford it. Shes tried to kill herself more times than I can count and i know she thinks about it all the time.
I really dont think shell ever pull herself out of her depression, and every time I hear about her problems, I cry. It ripps my heart out to hear about it, I love her more than anyone else and I cant help her. She cant even help herself. I literally have no influence over her, ive tried to help, she just pushes me away and always gives an excuse as to why she cant help herself.
If Im not there for her, no one else will be, and I love her, so of course I want to be there. But she makes being her friend so hard and i want to know if I should move on or not. I still plan on being her friend, I just want opinons as to weather i can find someone to fill that need she fills, though, as of late, shes not doing what she use to.
Any advice? Thanks.

People have different life experiences and different problems. If a person cannot cope with them they have to change to fit them. It sounds like your friend cannot cope with them. If she has a debt for whatever reason and can't seem to pay it off that means either A) It's an addiction or B) She has a credit card. The first one is bad because that means she knows that what she is doing but cannot break the addiction in order to pay it off.

If she is also seriously trying to commit suicide than she has problems that she needs help with. If she hasn't gone all the way through with it after many times that usually mean she more wants help which is a good thing, but it sounds like you can't help her. Her problems are making your life harder than it is and you have tried to help her and it hasn't been sucessful.

I think it is time you move on but you have to realize that if you leave her you have no idea what she will do, and you have to understand that could end up very bad, and it may influence your decision. You really need to sit her down and tell her how you feel, how much you care about her, and give her an ultimatum.

If she doesn't do the right thing, then it is time to move on, but you will never find someone to fully fill the emotional void that she leaves.

But when I try to tell her how I feel about her, and how I feel about her problems, she gets upset with me and tells me that I only THINK I understand her, when I actually dont. (I probably understand better than anyone she knows, actually)
Shes been sent to a mental hospital twice, both for trying to kill herself at school. Has been perscribed medication, been foced to see therapists, and has been diagnossed with chronic depression, anorexia, and bulimia. Theres always an excuse as to why she cant help herself. "The medication makes me sick" or "the shrink is stupid" or "thats just stupid, im not trying that"
Its obvious shes not getting better, but I can't leave her. I also cant stick around watching her deterriorate, I'd die doing that. I just dont know what to do, and I cant find a balance.

I think that it is time to seriously get her some help.

If she has tried to commit suicide more times than you can count and she's not dead yet, it means that she really doesn't want to die. However, even attempting suicide is a pretty serious issue and she should be getting therapy or speak to someone who can help.

Sometimes just being there for someone isn't enough.

It's nice and all that you're there for her, but it sounds like she is dragging you down with her.

Sounds like she has problems she doesn't want help with and there is nothing you can do.

There probably isn't a balance and you just have to take the emotional step and give her the ultimatum and leave if she doesn't at least try to change.

It's not up to you to try to help her. The only person that can help her is herself.

Believe me, I know from experience.

But she CANT change. Shes too far gone. Ive tried getting her help, Ive tried everything I can think of. I just dont know what to do with her, or myself right now.
I have to be so careful what I say around her, if I say the wrong thing, shell go cut herself or worse. An ultimadum wont work. Talking to her wont work. I just need advice about ME, not her.

Then its time to move on,

I agree. Time to move on, she's just making you feel guilty when it's not your fault.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate this. Just totally moving on isnt an option, I cant do that. I just cant. Im all she has, and I love her more than I really understand, and when shes in a good mood, I'm so happy.
I just need to balance her and making new friends, and maybe find someone that i can be that close to again?

i think she needs to be institutionalized. If she tried to commit suicide before and she's depressed now...

You can't help people that don't want to help themselves...and trust me i've been there. But i think it's gotten to the point now where your friend needs some professional help. The fact that she's tried to kill herself but never succeeded proves that she's crying for attention and doesn't really want to die. I don't think you should move on since you care about her so much. But i think you should make a real effort to not let her problems control your life...or you could become depressed too. Good luck!

Thanks guys.

But as I've said, shes had LOADS of professional help. And the sad thing is, she really does want to die. The reason she hasnt yet is because someone always finds her. she tried drinking bleach, overdosing on meds, hanging herself, cutting herself, and every time, someone finds her because everyone knows that she cant be left alone for very long because she WILL try to kill herself. Its not a cry for attention anymore, its a serious need to die.