ok well i am often down and depressed for many reasons and i thought about self-harm and even suicide but i hav this fear of pain and death so i end up sitting in a corner wishing i had the courage to just end it make it all go away
i sit there attaking myself mentaly making it worse untill i cant take it and just curl into a ball and gry until i cant cry no more.

I understand how you feel, I used to cut myself. It's not a good solution, trust me. When you feel down or depressed, the best thing I can tell you to do is to go talk to someone; even if it's on TH. Plenty of people would love to listen. Even though that seems like the hardest time to start talking to someone..it's when you need to the most. PM me if you ever want to talk . I'd be happy to help or just listen . I'd love to hear from you

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Feel free to PM me, as well. I always have the time of day for someone in suffering. There is nothing you can not come to me with.

I used to attack myself all the time. I have acne and a lisp. I would call myself ugly, stupid, an outcast, so on, so forth. But, I realized that reality is how I perceive it, and pushed past my negative thoughts and found my true self. So, as corny as this might sound, ignore the negatives thoughts, be optimist. It works, trust me.

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Harvy,
you know im here.. You've talken to me in the past..
And even though I dont use skpe still PM please ..
Take care lovely.
xo

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Hi
I'm not the kind of person who tries to sugar-coat things and make it seem like everything's gonna be okay if it's not. I tell the truth...
This depression isn't gonna go away any time soon. I know it's hard to comprehend, but it just doesn't disappear over-night. I used to be a complete and utter arsehole in my earlier high school years, but in a space of only one year, I changed literally EVERYTHING about me. I'm a better person now, and I have never felt better.
That's exactly what you've got to do. You've got to pinpoint what your problems are, and iradicate them in order of the worst to the easiest. You are already a good person, I've seen some of your posts, you seem like a nice guy, so you just need to sort your problems out.
This won't be easy...give it time. Eventually, after weeks, months or even years, you will get better. It's like...waiting for a cut to heal.
And yes....every deep cut has scars. So do those in your heart and mind. You will always have some form of problem, but mate, I think we can both agree on one thing; when you're down like you described...anything's better than that, right?
Good luck.

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thnx guys

i always do this. i wish i was brave enough to end my life because than i could start over new and fresh. i really think this life wasnt meant for me. but im to weak. i tried cutting myself. i basically gave myself papercuts because im a wimp. but i only did that once because it was stupid. i normally lock myself in my bathroom lay on the floor and cry and cry till my eyes ache and till im choking on my own spit and i try to scream but nothing comes out. and than ive cried so much i feel numb, i stumble when i walk. the whole time im crying i just wish someone would hold me and wipe my tears off my face. i think the worst thing about depression is being alone. no one deserves that. feel free to talk to me whenever. i thought i was the only one who did this. so your not alone.

thnx and i know what you mean ive tried hitting my head against a wall and hitting my self with a ruler but everytime i go for a knife i wimp out and cant do it.
do you have msn?

Wow you sound just like me...i'm a big woose and i don't like blood. I'd end up curling up shaking with anger and sadness pulling at my hair and scratching my wrists. It's a horrible thing having that battle going on in your head it drove me nuts and i'd try cutting but i couldn't take much of that so ended up burning myself as i found it more bearable.
Not that i want you to burn yourself, no way...there's nothing wrong with having a good cry every now an then but what i did was when i felt the rage i'd listen to one angry/sad song then i'd force myself to sing and dance along with lots of happy music, after a while my modd would change and i could carry on as normal. Try it and let me know if it works for you too.

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Your fate is in your own hands...your destiny is yours to create...

That is EXACTLY what I do (well, minus the crying, I can't seem to cry for some reason).
Its not a bad thing that you do'nt self harm. If anything, you should see it as a good thing. Ok, so there isn't the physical release of pain to take your mind of the emotional pain, but that is good. Here's what I do when I feel like that:
- Write lyrics (or write whatever is on my mind, onto a piece of paper, or my laptop). No-one has to read them! Thats the great thing [=
- Sketch/draw (i'm crap at drawing, but give it a go, might help)
- Listen to music. Depending on how bad my mood is, depends on what I listen to. I.E. If I'm just upset about girl troubles, I listen to stuff like All Time Low, Amber Pacific, etc... Not too heavy, but bouncy. Where as, if I'm angry and just want to hit something, I listen to stuff lik Trigger The Bloodshed, Slipknot, etc... And I just scream along to it.

I hope this helps. And remember, its not about "not having the courage to cut/end it", its about having the will to live still there. You may feel as if you don't want to live, but your brain and heart is telling you that there is still a point to your life. Its natural instinct. If you TRULY believed that you're life was not worth living, you would of been able to cut.

There's still hope [=
Just wait, and keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel

Good luck

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Is there anything triggering these feelings?

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I would start out by recommending you get your feelings out in a healthy way.
~Write a journal entry, or turn the thoughts into lyrics/a poem.
~Listen to music that describes how you feel. Read the lyrics as you go along. It may help you feel like you're not so alone.
~Talk to a friend, a counselor, a trusted adult, whomever, about how you feel. There are many people out there who will be glad to listen.

Once you've begun to feel a bit better, try positive thinking. Once a negative thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive.
Example: I hate my life. Replace with: My life is okay. I have a lot of good things going for me.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself 5 traits about yourself you like, no matter how hard it seems to come up with something. You know deep down that there is a person in there worth knowing, so learn to embrace him.

If self-help is not working after awhile, I'd recommend seeking counseling services. They will be able to get you back on the right track. Good luck and stay positive!

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well thnx for the advice i will give the ideas a go but i hav tryed most of them and they just made me worse.....
and for what triggers it many things...school...my brother(he has chronic fatigue)...but mainly i let the one good thing in my life go and i wont ever see her again...there are more but they are all realy stupid

If they upset you, then they aren't stupid.
Can you elaborate on the thing about the girl? (if you feel uncomfortable posting it on here feel free to PM me). I would really like to help you out the best I can, I just need more information to do so.

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well she was always realy nice to me and then we started going out and it was great then i got all depressed and everyone at school took the mick out of me because i was depressed and then they took the mick out of her because she was going out with me. but she just told them to fck off and she stayed with me. when i was with her it all seemed to be ok. she was my first kiss but i truly loved her...i was in love with her. then she went to canada and i couldnt accept she was gone and my life came crashing down i pushed everyone away and sat there crying and crying until i had no tears left. i tryed to get in contact but i cant ive tryed every thing and well it feels like someone tore a chunk of my heart out. thats what upsets me most ive tryed to move on but i end up comparing any other girl to her and well no one compares