Mhmm, to anyone out there who can help me on this, the help will be GREATLY appreciated.

This may be one long post... but it's really important to me!

For all of this I’m about to tell you, I take the blame for everything. I can honestly say it was self inflicted, but I need a way how to reverse everything and to get my life back to normal.
About 8 months ago I was sitting in a mall, a bit drunk... (Went out that evening with my ex boyfriend for a couple of drinks - underage drinking... I'm only 16; legal age of drinking is 18!) Anyways, I bumped into this one girl at the mall; I met her on myspace once but never got the chance to meet her personally. From there we went to go have coffee (was still uberly drunk and idiotic.) I can say my life changed from there, this girl and I started chatting more and more to each other, and our relationship "blossomed" into love. After about 2 months of knowing each other, we decided to confront each other about it, and started to date.

At the time my mother didn't know I was bisexual, and I thought it was time to come out of the closet... bad move I suppose. I started seeing a psychiatrist and asking her for advice on how to tell my parents I was bisexual... for me this was one heck of a mission as my parents are extremely homophobic
I was somehow also diagnosed for depression then, which added even more pressure to my life.
I had to speak to my mom about everything... so I decided to sit down with her and talk my heart out. Which didn't go to well in the end...

This continued for months and my mother and I started fighting more and more about it, making me even more depressed. She then started becoming suspicious of this "girl" I kept seeing (the girl I was secretly dating her name is Anouchka, I kept it a secret from my family to prevent any serious problems.) This situation blew up into one huge problem... consisted of calls to her mother, even MORE fights, and a heck load of drama.
I was banned from seeing Anouchka, my door was taken off from my room, my mobile phone was taken away, had no internet access, NOTHING. (My parents may seem sweet if you spend a day with them, but they're actually really cruel...) anyways. I felt my life was so shit after all of this, and needed a way to escape it. I felt even more depressed by the day and thoughts of suicide started to develop. I began relying on alcohol... I started abusing alcohol every time I went out and came back terribly intoxicated and threw up the whole time. This disappointed my mom so much and her trust for me was no longer there.

I felt useless; it was as if the alcohol was the only thing there to make me feel better. I was restricted from going out over the weekends, so I started drinking at school... (Highly stupid of me...sigh) I would do this on a regular basis to make me feel "better" and "happier". My school marks started dropping, I started failing tests, and my life was a complete wreck! I would often cut or burn myself, not for a cry out of attention, but another way to release the pain inside of me. I was too far in this mess to reverse it all. I begged my mom for help but she wouldn't let me go for help. It was as if I and my mother were the biggest enemies on earth. I thought the only possible thing I could do was to kill myself - to end all the pain I was going through.

I went out with my best friend the other day to a restaurant, and I started my nonsense once again, started with one drink... ended up being almost over 10 drinks. My mother was furious, but I didn't know how to explain anything and decided to keep my mouth closed. I wondered off to our medicine chest, took a few mouth full of pills, swallowed them and went to go sit down in the bathroom and thought "this was it, I'm going to end this all.." my dad suddenly barged in asking me what the hell I was doing, but I couldn't remember anything after that. It felt like I was a walking zombie, I sat by the toilet and vomited my lungs out and my mother went into shock because she feared I was going to die. I was rushed to hospital, had drug test taken, and was booked off school the next day.

I felt like a no body...things haven't gotten better since, but I've started going to AA Meetings and trying to stop abusing alcohol until I'm mature enough to control my drinking assumption.

The problem I need help with is that... I need to gain my parents trust again, I've basically lost all my friends, I'm not ever allowed to go out, it's no use explaining anything to my mother because she just wont listen and will think I’m lying to her. I need advice on what I should do; my mother honestly makes me feel like I'm useless and that I should just carry on doing such stupid things. I’m not even allowed to see my own girlfriend, this is causing fights between us and she's getting impatient with this all. I can't even walk outside my house because my mother thinks I'm going to go drink, or do something bad.

Please someone

HELP!?

Well you mothe obviouslcares about you if she was worried when you took an overdose. most parents would be like that becuse they ae trying to protect you. if you just try and stay out of her wy for a while an see if it has given her enough time to come to terms with things.
as for your girlfriend. if there was a way you could contact her explaining things to her like in a letter or secretly meet up or something she should understand if you explain everything.
going to AA meetings is a really good start btw. your doing the right thing doing that
hope what i said help but i havent been through this so i do not know what it is like.
good luck sorting it out!

I know this will be the most simple thing said, but it's going to be the hardest thing to actually do.

You need to have a one on one talk with your mum.
In that talk you should ease up to telling her what you've been going through. Also explain why you kept your bisexuality a secret [if you haven't already told her yourself. She might of just assumed on her own acord]. You need to tell her that you are still her daughter.

I hope this can help a little. L:

You should seek help, try connexions they will beable to help you. You should talk to your mom or even better show her this page, i'm sure she'll understand