Anyone who cuts...

Rise of Gatlinock · 11-04-2009, 10:06 AM

Okay, so as everyone should know, people who self-mutilate come from every walk of life. what did i make this thread for? i want to get an idea of what kind of walks of life other people who self-harm come from. so in this thread i'm asking that if you are a cutter and are comfortable sharing, where do you come from? who are you? what are you like? reason for cutting? please only people dealing with self-injury who are comfortable with sharing...it will make for a better perspective.

my example:
as for me, i come from a middle class family of 3; my sister, mother, and I. my parents are divorced and i can not remember the last time i saw my dad. as for who i am, i am a dedicated athlete(varsity cross country, wrestling, weightlifting, and varsity track), a good student(4.0 gpa with many academic achievements), and at many times a very depressed person. why i cut, it is a difficult-to-pinpoint reason that i believe as an endless amount of deep-within roots. point blank, i just do it with no conscious reason.

thanks in advance for anyone who contributes =]

once_in_a_lifetime_luv · 11-04-2009, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rise of Gatlinock

Okay, so as everyone should know, people who self-mutilate come from every walk of life. what did i make this thread for? i want to get an idea of what kind of walks of life other people who self-harm come from. so in this thread i'm asking that if you are a cutter and are comfortable sharing, where do you come from? who are you? what are you like? reason for cutting? please only people dealing with self-injury who are comfortable with sharing...it will make for a better perspective.

my example:
as for me, i come from a middle class family of 3; my sister, mother, and I. my parents are divorced and i can not remember the last time i saw my dad. as for who i am, i am a dedicated athlete(varsity cross country, wrestling, weightlifting, and varsity track), a good student(4.0 gpa with many academic achievements), and at many times a very depressed person. why i cut, it is a difficult-to-pinpoint reason that i believe as an endless amount of deep-within roots. point blank, i just do it with no conscious reason.

thanks in advance for anyone who contributes =]

I come from a middle-low class family of four, my parents are also divorced, I live with my mom, and we don't have much money, I'm going to be moving in with my dad. I don't exactly know who I am but I love to draw, color, and write. I wasn't a very good student in school, my grades were usually D's and F's, so, I got my GED and I'm planning on going to Community college in my town. I'm very depressed, I have tons of mood swings, one second I could be talking to someone about rainbows and smilie faces, and a second later I'll say I want to die and I'll start crying. The depression started after 7th grade, probably because my family was falling apart and I was lonely. I still do feel lonely and I've been treated like crap by tons of guys. They cheat, lie, and when I need them they disappear. There's a ton more to it than that but it's really long to explain.
I cut to relieve some of the depression and it actually makes me feel better but it's getting worse because I use to cut just to bleed and feel the pain. Lately the not-so-deep cuts haven't been working to make me feel better, I have to cut like five times for it to work, i'll probably start cutting deeper.

Anyway, I just thought I'd reply because I'm not afraid to share.

Rise of Gatlinock · 11-05-2009, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by once_in_a_lifetime_luv

I come from a middle-low class family of four, my parents are also divorced, I live with my mom, and we don't have much money, I'm going to be moving in with my dad. I don't exactly know who I am but I love to draw, color, and write. I wasn't a very good student in school, my grades were usually D's and F's, so, I got my GED and I'm planning on going to Community college in my town. I'm very depressed, I have tons of mood swings, one second I could be talking to someone about rainbows and smilie faces, and a second later I'll say I want to die and I'll start crying. The depression started after 7th grade, probably because my family was falling apart and I was lonely. I still do feel lonely and I've been treated like crap by tons of guys. They cheat, lie, and when I need them they disappear. There's a ton more to it than that but it's really long to explain.
I cut to relieve some of the depression and it actually makes me feel better but it's getting worse because I use to cut just to bleed and feel the pain. Lately the not-so-deep cuts haven't been working to make me feel better, I have to cut like five times for it to work, i'll probably start cutting deeper.

Anyway, I just thought I'd reply because I'm not afraid to share.

good response, exactly what i'm looking for. i'm sorry your parents are also divorced, i obviously know how that is.

once_in_a_lifetime_luv · 11-05-2009, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rise of Gatlinock

good response, exactly what i'm looking for. i'm sorry your parents are also divorced, i obviously know how that is.

Haha thanks.

We're apparently the only people writing on here..

I was looking forward to reading other peoples stories.

Rise of Gatlinock · 11-05-2009, 08:56 AM

yeah me too, definitely. hopefully a couple more people will contribute.

once_in_a_lifetime_luv · 11-06-2009, 07:19 AM

Well apperently no one is responding.

pikechu · 11-06-2009, 09:50 AM

i can respond too

i live with my mom and my brother and also i have no dad. i see pattern in this thread.
I don't ever know anything of him but it doesnt bother me so much becos i am happy with my family. i am so bad with school. i can not concentreate and becos german is my second language in my school i can zone-out of listening so easily and this is one reason why i lose my concentrating easily.
I cut for any reason i can becos it makes me feel like i am stronger than when im upset and so when i cut its like i have overcomed being sadness.
but i have lot of issues for years with anxiety and eating and depression. i go throuh lots when i am younger i used to often run away and live throuh lot of abuses and this probly shapes me to why i do this today and that i feel insecure with so many things

i live in a clinic where im not allowed to selfharm now so i have no choice to stop. the reason i selfharm for so long is becos i never wanted to stop. i was happy with what i were doing and that i was control. but honestly, i dont imagine i will ever want to stop and that is the most worrying thing....

Rise of Gatlinock · 11-06-2009, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikechu

i can respond too

i live with my mom and my brother and also i have no dad. i see pattern in this thread.
I don't ever know anything of him but it doesnt bother me so much becos i am happy with my family. i am so bad with school. i can not concentreate and becos german is my second language in my school i can zone-out of listening so easily and this is one reason why i lose my concentrating easily.
I cut for any reason i can becos it makes me feel like i am stronger than when im upset and so when i cut its like i have overcomed being sadness.
but i have lot of issues for years with anxiety and eating and depression. i go throuh lots when i am younger i used to often run away and live throuh lot of abuses and this probly shapes me to why i do this today and that i feel insecure with so many things

i live in a clinic where im not allowed to selfharm now so i have no choice to stop. the reason i selfharm for so long is becos i never wanted to stop. i was happy with what i were doing and that i was control. but honestly, i dont imagine i will ever want to stop and that is the most worrying thing....

woah dude, there is a pattern. well thanks for adding to the thread. what do you mean by you live in a clinic? mental hospital? i get what you mean...not wanting to ever stop...i still do it and don't see myself stopping either.

pikechu · 11-06-2009, 10:01 AM

i would not call it mental hospital...
its for teenagers who have problems like eating disorders and selfharm or need to stop from drinking or drugs. its like to rehabilitate from them and by live in the clinic they control that u have not a knife in ur posession or they make that u eat all of ur food and help very much. i am here for eating problems but they wont let that i cut as well and i dont like that i dont have this control is taken from me. its like in my head i dont know what is "too far" and i dont set a limit for how deep the cut im making is and so i dont have limits to keep me safe if i DO cut :s
and sorry my english its shit!

Rise of Gatlinock · 11-06-2009, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikechu

i would not call it mental hospital...
its for teenagers who have problems like eating disorders and selfharm or need to stop from drinking or drugs. its like to rehabilitate from them and by live in the clinic they control that u have not a knife in ur posession or they make that u eat all of ur food and help very much. i am here for eating problems but they wont let that i cut as well and i dont like that i dont have this control is taken from me. its like in my head i dont know what is "too far" and i dont set a limit for how deep the cut im making is and so i dont have limits to keep me safe if i DO cut :s
and sorry my english its shit!

yeah i agree this dude needs to shoo from the thread...

don't worry about your English, it's fne. i can read it =]

so did you go to the clinic by choice? or were you sent there?

i'm glad your getting things together and that it doesn't sound "too" terribly bad. yeah and my bad, a mental hospital is way different than what you describe to me. care to share some insight on life inside the clinic?

pikechu · 11-06-2009, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rise of Gatlinock

yeah i agree this dude needs to shoo from the thread...

don't worry about your English, it's fne. i can read it =]

so did you go to the clinic by choice? or were you sent there?

i'm glad your getting things together and that it doesn't sound "too" terribly bad. yeah and my bad, a mental hospital is way different than what you describe to me. care to share some insight on life inside the clinic?

it was like suggested i should go there. i went throuh some surgery and my weigh dropped very very much and i was not able to raise it again so when i talked with doctors and nutrition doctors they said it will help very much if i move into the clinic so i chose a very nice live clinic and it is good place here to live

im happier here than in my home becos here i dont deal with stress that i had in my school and the ppl here are all go throuh same things i go throuh so u can releate to them and they understand why u do or dont do things and wont pressure u to eat or be like "why the fuck would u want to cut?" becos they know how its like to feel like this and not be able to want to make urself eat or whetever.
i can share insight but so much :P what would u like to know?

DaveDaiquiri · 11-06-2009, 10:35 AM

Huzzah, someone agrees with me.
A HANDSHAKE FOR YOU SIR.

Rise of Gatlinock · 11-06-2009, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikechu

it was like suggested i should go there. i went throuh some surgery and my weigh dropped very very much and i was not able to raise it again so when i talked with doctors and nutrition doctors they said it will help very much if i move into the clinic so i chose a very nice live clinic and it is good place here to live

im happier here than in my home becos here i dont deal with stress that i had in my school and the ppl here are all go throuh same things i go throuh so u can releate to them and they understand why u do or dont do things and wont pressure u to eat or be like "why the fuck would u want to cut?" becos they know how its like to feel like this and not be able to want to make urself eat or whetever.
i can share insight but so much :P what would u like to know?

woah that's really cool...the clinic sounds like a good place...seriously. my mom couldn't handle knowing that i cut or anything...she found out the first time i did it...wasn't a fun experience at all. stress is all i ever get in public school, i'm no minority and i'n not the most popular kid but i have it fairly good...but i'm not my self...if i were myself at my school no body would understand.

as far as insight i want to know like...hmmm...kinda a bit of everything. more about how people act there and what people do there(yourself included). how the staff there act. just anything, i, myself, couldn't imagine living in a clinic simply because i'm so used to living in my house but that doesn't mean i wouldn't want to live in a clinic.

---------- Post added at 10:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:10 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveDaiquiri

Huzzah, someone agrees with me.
A HANDSHAKE FOR YOU SIR.

i agree aswell

DaveDaiquiri · 11-06-2009, 10:43 AM

Handshake for you sir.
Good move with the removals by the way.
I'm assuming it was you.
And best of luck to all of you, I regret to say I have not had the time to read all of your stories and whatnot, but I'll get to it and give my own reply

once_in_a_lifetime_luv · 11-06-2009, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rise of Gatlinock

woah dude, there is a pattern. well thanks for adding to the thread. what do you mean by you live in a clinic? mental hospital? i get what you mean...not wanting to ever stop...i still do it and don't see myself stopping either.

I don't ever want to stop either. I have some times where I don't do it.. I haven't done it for like 3 weeks. and I don't cut very deep, I use to then I stopped but lately they have been getting deeper.. How deep do you cut Gatlinock?

pikechu- thanks for adding to this post, I didn't think anyone was going to. We appreciate it.